I Think Jayson Tatum Hates Apostrophes

Last night I was hanging with some friends, deleting beers (#coolguy), “watching” the fight.  

I missed the big blow in real time as I was earning my nickname-sake, but none of that shitty lead-in really matters. I could’ve just said last night my friend showed me a picture of this new Jayson Tatum ink.

I know that I overplay this GIF like HJY overplays Hotel California, but that tat is

I’m a Tatum guy. I hope he’s a Celtic for the rest of his career. Deuce is cute af. I’m excited to watch him drop > 25 today against the Lakers, but as a blogger who struggles with elementary level punctuation myself; this is a baaaaddd look.

I’m a nice guy and did JT a solid by cropping out his neck.

The lack of an apostrophe changes the context from God’s (possessive) Will to Gods (plural) Will. If Tatum is a polytheist than that would be more than acceptable. It’s sort of an open-ended fragment that could turn into a v interest conversation piece after a rips from a Jaylen Bong.  But unless he’s from Aldus Snow school of tattoos, it’s safe to assume Tatum’s a Christian. Despite the irony of Mr. Omitted Word Himself (me) getting on someone for a typo; I haaaaate how trashy it is to have a tattoo with an error. Inexcusable mistake. I can always edit a blog . Sure, you can adjust tattoos in some cases, but with these fonts and shading it would be nearly impossible.

One of my friends tried to write it off like this isn’t a big deal “because he has more money than you’ll ever have” so he has the last laugh. I don’t understand what that has to do price of tea in China. While we all know this is the wrong side of the take to be on; it does pose an interesting question. 

What would someone have to pay to you be a walking typo? Obviously location is a huge factor, as it is in all real estate deals. Interestingly enough, Jay has ANOTHER tattoo with a missing apostrophe that I can assume he paid for. At the very least he chose this.

To paraphrase the late Lou Brown: “one more and that’s a streak”. 

Because of that,  I feel like I can take the leap to assume Tatum is either ignorant to apostrophes (which is understandable because that’s day one of your sophomore year at Duke) OR he just doesn’t give a fuck because he’s paid. Either way always measure twice, cut once when it comes to tattoos.