Despite the shitty rainy day in Rhody today, for the most-part the weather has been getting better. I promise you this is not some small talk bs blog about the weather, but rather me using that to get to a point. Warmer weather means shorts time for us men like myself. Also women too. Everybody wears shorts. Even Lebron James, a man you'll rarely see wearing such garments, occasionally wears shorts.
So on Saturday after spending hours cleaning my room I was like:
"Ya know what Ryan? you're a semi-successful young man with some money spend, who also legitimately needs shorts because he put on a light 40 over the winter like a depressed grizzly who now has to breathe in for 20 seconds to fit into his old shorts. Go get yourself some shorts."
And then I ended up at DXL. Now I can find clothes that fit me at normal stores, but the DXL is like 6 minutes away from my house and I knew for sure they'd have me because I'm on the lower end of big and tall stores. Fuck you, I'm fat again.
With today also being Monday, I'm obviously on my #dsm swag (diet starts Monday). I am in a conundrum. DXL is kind of awesome. I don't want to be needing to shop at DXL, but it's also a dopeeee store. I liked being there even though it was a little pricey. Although as a large baller I'd never bring that up.
What was crazy is that I had a hard time finding shorts I wanted. There aren't a ton of 44's around because that is on the smaller end of clothes they sell. I feel like they start 42 since you can find 40 and below at most regular stores. It definitely made me feel a little better about being a fat piece of shit. I was Nicole Richie compared to these mouth breathing Big Dog shirt wearing gentlemen. At least I'm not like everybody else in there. A size dozah (58 for people who somehow after 2.5 years of these doesn't know that by now) pant is lunacy but they have those there. That's another foot and half of waist than me and I'm like the hindenburg rn.
But I gotta give DXL some credit, and no this isn't an ad but if you're looking for a model please hmu. I have the London Look.
But seriously the brands are legit. Ralph Lauren, Nautica. (two of my favorites), others as well that I don't remember. Surprisingly large (no pun intended) selection. The graphic T's were a little too directed at 47 year dads for my taste, but that's okay. It's there store, not mine. I'm just visiting on my journey.
To their credit DXL does something no other stores other than Bob's does in this state. They actually sell Boston sports apparel. They sold multiple T's for all four Boston teams, and URI & PC too. No stores at Warwick Mall or PPM could say that. Olympia is a fucking joke. Dicks too. Their section for team gear was emaciated. I looked the entire state for a Celtics T to avoid paying $40 at the Garden and who would've guessed the fat guy store had them right down the street? I'm serious man DXL is legit. If you ever find yourself tipping the scales at 3 bills plus give them a look-see.
Oh and to top it all off, guess what song was playing when I checked out? If you follow me on twitter you already know.
I'm well aware there's a typo in the first one. S/o Nino for being a smart ass.
That's right at DXL they serenade you with pop-punk styling of one miss Hayley Williams and Paramore.
This store is really making it hard to not just say "fuck it" and stay a fat guy. It's gotten to the point where I'm just used to not getting butt.