If You Think Winning The Lottery Would Be Bad You're an Idiot

(watch that video before reading this)

I play Powerball every Wednesday and Saturday. For $4 a week I think it's worth it. Sure the odds are astronomical but with an opportunity to turn a few bucks into millions I'll take my chances. The way I see it everybody is entitled to one cheap vice. Since I don't drink coffee, I supplement that money by spending it on the lottery.  Saving that money obviously wouldn't do anything, it's only 4 bucks.  Plus I'm putting it back into the economy. I'm actually doing great things by playing Powerball. You're welcome.

It's only $208 over the course of a year. Even to a loser like me right now that's nothing. I'll risk $208 for 104 chances at being a millionaire. When I say it like that I love my chances. Ever since it was close to a billion like two years ago I've played the same numbers almost every drawing. Can't stop now. What if the one night I don't play they hit? One of the few times I forgot to get my ticket in the last year four of my numbers hit. If all my numbers ever hit and I didn't play I'd 100% kill myself. That's not a joke. I couldn't live in a world where I lost a chance at being a multimillionaire because I forgot to stop at store. Just being honest. 


With the pot at over 400 million dollars tonight the Powerball is big in the news again. It's officially that  point where people who normally don't play when the pot is "low" at like 68 million dollars come out of the woodwork and play since the pot is bigger.  

Those people are the worst.

If winning the 40 million base isn't enough for you then you can kick rocks. You give me any amount of money ending in million and I'm happy. I think if you gave me $2 million dollars right now I could live off it the rest of my life just using my brain. It takes money to make money, all I need is that seed, baby. 


Which leads me to my main point. Anybody who thinks winning the lottery would be a bad thing is a fucking idiot. It's frankly irresponsible to spread stuff like this.  Since when is being finically stable and having the ability to do literally whatever you want bad? It's the loser trophy mentality of our society. How could someone ever think winning that much money would be a bad thing? Would it be inconvenient to have to deal with family and "friends" coming out of the woodwork asking for money? Of course it would be. But you know what else is inconvenient? Being broke. Pretty inconvenient when I have to spend half my checking account on a student loan every month.

Even if you have a great job you can always use more money. Money is like pitching depth. You can never have enough. Yeah money is an evil, but it's a necessary evil. Without it and it's motivating factors society would crumble. We need money and what it does to people. Competitive fire is good.

Money doesn't buy happiness but it sure does make it a whole lot easier to obtain. 

Also anybody who says they'd keep their job is such a liar it's disgusting. That's such a line that people say just to sound like better people than they really are. I mean you probably won't have to ever actually make the decision. So they just say it because they know they probably won't ever win the lottery and actually have to follow through.  But if you won millions of dollars and still worked your shitty 9-5 you should be arrested for stupidity.  Anybody stupid enough to waste their life working when they didn't have to is a fool who should be locked up. You cannot be trusted.  What's the point of having all that money if you can't enjoy it? What is wrong with you?


Then this guy tries to be all high and mighty and start a conversation about the lottery and the bad things it has done to people. Sure there's cases of it ruining people's lives, but that's because they're stupid people who did not prepare. Yeah some redneck idiots have blown hundreds of millions of dollars. But that's because they probably didn't have a plan of action for what would happen if they actually won. If you play the lottery and don't have a plan of actions ready for when that day comes you shouldn't be playing. Because if you all of a sudden win 403 million dollars you aren't going to be thinking straight. That's why it's a good thing to have the conversation with your friends even if it's joking around about what you'd do if you won. 

Which leads me to my 2nd part of this blog. With the lottery at 403 million dollars you'd probably get a little more than 200 after taxes, which is more than enough to life a baller ass life, help people and set it up so your family would be set for generations. I'm not gonna give all my secrets away because TBH there's people I know who I'd enjoy seeing blow a powerball winning but for the most part we're all on the same team here. Going to end this blog with the first 10 things I'd do after winning the Powerball to ensure I wouldn't go broke and also have a sick ass life.

1. Hire security. This is kind of a no brainer for me. I already have a target on my back for being me. With that much money, and the media attention I'd get as a Powerball champion, people will come after me. I'm not trying to die because I got lucky and your life sucks.  First way to avoid that is to get a team to protect me. 
2. Get my teeth fixed.  If I'm gonna be rich guy I need to look the part, the biggest give away that you're broke is shitty teeth. I also think my bad smile has caused me more problems than my weight. If you give me a nice smile I am absolutely unstoppable. 
3. Pay off my and all my friends student loans. I'm just a great guy what can I say? I don't want anybody I care about worrying about that.
4. Call Tom Brady. I feel with this much money I could somehow acquire his digits. He doesn't even have to talk back, I just have a few things I need to say to him. Mainly thank you and I love you. Then hopefully maybe we can become friends. 
5. Buy my mom a house. I feel like that's a must do when you come into money.  
6. Hire a team to take care of all the boring money stuff. I'm gonna be way too busy living life to worry about stocks and shit. Hire some nerds to handle that while I'm living it up. This has never backfired.
7. Start my own business. Gotta keep revenue coming in. Business 101. I think if we've learned anything in life it's that new businesses never fail. Pretty safe bet here. 
8. Make a group chat of every girl who's ever denied me and just send a video of me swimming in money like Scrooge McDuck. Sucks to suck, ladies. 
9. Buy stuff. Most importantly a car and a mansion, I'd honestly probably just get a tricked out Wrangler. I'm not a big car guy, idc about sports cars and whatnot. Give ole Dozo a nice Jeep and I'm happy. Then I'd let all my friends stay in my new mansion, they can live their regular lives if they want but I'm gonna try my best to keep the squad on retainer.  
10. Pretend I went broke within the first year. This is the smartest move you can do. This way people stop coming after you for cash. I think I'd fake my own death. Idk how to go through all that, but luckily with all the money I feel like it'd be pretty easy to do. I could just ask Elvis, Hitler or Tupac. This way I can watch my funeral (something I've always wanted to see how people react) and start over with all the money elsewhere. After a few months I can make up some lie and say I was set up. Seems pretty fool proof. Even though I admitted it here.