I'm So Mad at My Body For Betraying Me in the Biggest Week of My Life

If you've been keeping up with me on the f book, or are privileged enough to speak to me on a regular basis in real life then you know last week some potentially life changing moves were made by your boy.

First off I applied for a position at barstool late Tuesday night and heard back the next day.  Hearing back that quickly was very surprising (in a good way). I had a phone interview on Friday that went well enough to get a second one at some point this week.  Very big progress towards working for my dream company.  I don't want to say too much and screw shit up, but I think at the very least I made a new friend on the inside of BSS which is pretty cool.  I have no idea what will happen going forward and don't want to get my hopes up too high but one thing is for sure, I am a lot closer to getting where I want to be than I was a week ago.

Then on a personal note, you could argue there was even bigger news. Despite being an open book I won't dive too deep into this one either, mainly for her sake and also to not potentially destroy any progress I may or may not have made.  But after seemingly missing my chance with this girl I realllly like it appears there was going to be another opportunity after I seemingly ruined that chance.

Huge news on both fronts, right? I mean it's the two things I want more than anything in the world and while there's still a lot of work to be done, serious progress was being made. Things that seemed impossible suddenly may not be. So I gotta be at my A game. Be my best Doz.  Shit, even my best Ryan. I need my wits and wherewithall to at least put the best effort I can on both fronts. 

Then Saturday happened.

I woke up with the worst feeling in the world, the "I can tell I'm about to get sick" feeling where you're absolutely helpless because you don't feel that bad yet, but know you're about to sick and theres nothing you can do. At that point it's time to prepare for a week or so of not being able to breathe through your nose, sore throats and a lack of energy. 

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So my big question is 

via GIPHY

Why right now? Why am I so sick for the most important week of my life? What did the doz man do wrong? 

How am I supposed to be preparing, and researching for a job when I'm I feel like I'm on death's doorstep? How am I supposed to hang out with a girl when I've transformed into a mouthbreathing, snot-ragging, sore throat having man child?

Why is life so hard for ME?? a college educated, white, middle class male in Rhode Island.

For a fat guy I'm actually relatively healthy (add the sound of my friends laughing at me), I get sick maybe once a year,  I had tests run last year and internally everything is pretty sound for a big man, yet here I am. Chapped-lipped from mouth breathing. When I need my mind, body and spirit all on the same page I get the fucking flu (self-diagnosed). 


Where do I go from here?

I'm trying my best to prepare for the next round of interviews and also  bang out some killer blogs, but I just feel like a sack of human garbage. I just want to lay down and watch tv all day. But I can't, Barstool doesn't care that I'm sick. I need to perform and produce.

I've tried to fight through it, I've gone out and been around people (maybe not the smartest move) and even have still been going to the gym. Damn, I just realized I'm kind of an ass hole who probably just got a bunch of other people sick, but I'm not gonna let some cold ruin everything I'm going after.

So I'm gonna do the only thing I can do: fight through it. I'm not going to be an excuse guy and look for a pity party because I'm sick at probably the worst timing of my life. I'm going to battle for everybody who has ever dealt with an ounce of adversity. This isn't for me, it's for everybody.