Ime Udoka is Likely In Trouble Thanks to the Vaguest Woj Bomb of 2022 (UPDATE: NOW WE KNOW WHAT'S UP BUT PLEASE STILL READ ME #HIREDOZO)
most vague?? idk but what is this shit???
There are Woj Bombs, and then there are OklaWoja City Bombings, like whatever this vague-ass dispatch is about. Like, did Ime mother fuck the wrong person or commit some light treason like George Bluth Sr?
After absolutely destroying the New England area's night, Woj went on SVPcenter and basically restated his tweet in as many ways as possible, giving essentially no specifics about what is going on with Ime Udoka.
I've seen speculations ranging from gambling to cheating to committing one of my biggest pet peeves back when I lived and died with the Boston Red Sox (before they traded away generational talent for pennies on the dollar).
I don't know who Tim McKone is, but I couldn't agree more.
Usually, I'm not too jazzed up about Celtics training camp, but I've been looking forward to the season since watching the last one end from the 300s section squeezed into a Rondo jersey I got like Christmas '09.
Yesterday we found out Time's gonna miss some..time.
Now Ime is possibly suspended for breaking the Celtics honor code?? This is ain't BYU, brah. What could he have possibly done to get into this vague ass situation? I'm not buying the cheating stuff. I'm not saying he didn't; I hope he didn't, I just highly doubt an NBA Head Coach would get a sussie for some pussy/bussy (no judgment here #ally).
If I were a gambling man, which I just so happen to be (I've been making TikToks for TML this year, and they've been coming out around 12:45, so I've be just posting them on TikTok and Twitter for rapid consumption----but your boi's 0-2 and a not even close, these never had a chance, 0-2. This will be our week, be sure to follow @dozonlife for the picks, but anyway back to Ime), I'd say this is could be a gambling situation. The ole Calvin Ridley. That seems like something that would violate organizational guidelines, but then again, the one little nugget Woj gave us mentioned how this is a team issue and not a league issue, making me think it wouldn't be gambling. That seems like something Adam Silver would want to handle.
Now, this perfectly executed tweet by Dragonfly makes a lot of sense, even though I said I don't think it's a cheating situation just a paragraph ago.
I guess we'll know more in the next 24-48 hours, but man Woj could you be any more fucking vague? I don't know what the C's will do if Ime catches a sussie. Will Hardy is gone; Woj mentioned maybe Joe Mazzulla (RHODE ISLAND IN THE HOUSE) could fill Ime's shoes during a possible suspension. But isn't the answer obvious if Ime misses some time?
I'm not sure if that'd be a setback or not. I mean, Brad was solid af here. Great guy, but I feel like he wasn't right for the Jays. Too mellow. Ime will bark back and call guys out in public. I fuck with Ime, but it looks like Ime might've fucked with the wrong person. Let's not assume until we get some concrete detail. There's no sense in wondering yourself into a panic like I do with nearly all situations in my life. I just would enjoy seeing the Boston Celtics win the NBA Finals: Presented by YoutubeTV, next year, and this situation doesn't help that cause. I mean, keep firing the jokes off; I'll end the blog with those.
Well, it looks like the mystery's been solved, but I just wrote that whole blog, I'm posting it. I saw this tweet legit 30 seconds before I was gonna publish. I didn't change any takes (only typos); I'm an honest man!
Shams > Woj. As a child of divorce I hate to see it. Ime has a young kid, but as a man; I mean we gotta see what she looks like. They don't wanna hear that in 2022, but that's the truth sadly with hot, rich people. Like Chris Rock said "a man is as loyal as his options." As long as it was consensual, I don't see the big deal from a team POV, other than the potential distraction, weird power dynamics, awkwardness when it inevitably ends and the cheating (which is technically wrong) thing. If Nia Long likes thiiccccc (morbidly obese) white bois with *fun sized* pieces and needs a shoulder to cry on, I'm only a DM away.
The official DOL Stance on 99.58% of celebrity relationships.