It is Truly Laughable To Me That The Yankees Are Willing To Give Gerrit Cole 324 Million Dollars To Not Have A Beard
With Cy-Young runner-up, Gerrit Cole leaving the Houston Astros for the New York Yankees via free agency it is easy to say the balance of power has swung (on phone screens) in the American League.
For the next 9 years, assuming he doesn't opt after 5, lifelong Yankee fan Gerrit Cole will be making 324 million bucks to work once, MAYBE twice a week for seven....eight months max. early blog p.s. you're going to see this picture every time Cole starts the next three years.
Not too shabby for the bandwagon fan out of Newport Beach, CA.
Although it will come at a cost for the 29 year old 20 game winner....
His right to be an individual and decide how he gets to present himself to the world!
That's right, when Gerrit Cole signed with the Yankees he waived his right for free will in exchange for money.
Lots and lots of money.
He'll have to hit the barber chair to adhere to their archaic male grooming policy. He's not the first player to trade razor burn for residuals and surely won't be the last.
It should be noted he did not have a gun to his back while negotiating. I'm not bashing the man for chasing the bag/a lifelong dream. If you threw me enough money I would do the same. I know how handsome I am with short hair; my mom has been telling me for years. It just blows my mind the Yankees still enforce this rule and its something we are still talking about in 2019. In an era where gender chameleons and they/them pronouns are the norm, it's a shame the Yankees, a franchise that is supposedly the face of major league baseball is still so close minded.
Since 1973 when George Steinbrenner pointed out the jersey numbers of Yankees who needed a haircut there has been a regularly enforced policy on hair length and facial hair. Although some eras were looser than others as some players seem to get a little more leeway based on ability.
But the appearance rule is textbook scumbag, corporate, everything that is wrong with America, It's impossible to have swag as a Bronx Bomber. The basically colorless, nameless uniforms. The hair rule. They are the antithesis of expression. Oh cool Aaron Judge is big. That doesn't count.
Obviously as a Red Sox fan, long hair/beard guy, and long time pro-freedom person, I am biased here. Sure I'll take any opportunity bash this stupid rule, and the Yankees, but as a baseball fan it really is time for the Yankees to get with the times.We play loud, hello?! Dead ass this rule hurts the game and only emphasizes the 59 year old white man average viewer vibe. Baseball literally just pulled the cool parent move and finally gave into the fact that everybody under 40 smokes reefer and the Yankees still say no to beards.
There's some cities in the U.S. where fucking cops have long hair for crying out loud.
Honestly, if I was a Yankee fan I'd be worried.
This is Gerrit's smokeshow wife, Amy.
(Sister of fellow big leaguer Brandon Crawford!)
Look at this happy couple. They look great, they're glowing!
They're going from the Houston Astros and their storied uniform history and being best friends with the biggest power couple in MLB to baseball North Korea.
I'm totally assuming here, but between Gerrit being her husband, and Brandon Crawford being her brother. I feel like it's safe to say she is a fan of the swaggy-shaggy look.
If you look at Amy's IG it's full of pics of her and Gerrit looking hot af in various places across the planet. I think at the very least we can assume she's a fan of shaggy guys. Sure 324 million bucks is cool but happy wife, happy life right?
Baseball has made the shift to analytics. The data clearly shows Gerrit Cole has no chin and is better looking with a beard.
It'd be a real shame if the man who dominated the Yankees in the playoffs and was rewarded with the biggest deal a pitcher has ever received in MLB history struggled with the pressures of New York. To make matters worse, he'd be unable to nervously twist his hair to ease the stress.
None of this would have to happen if the Yankees got with the times. Did you know the Cincinnatti Reds had a similar rule in place but lifted it in 1999? I feel like this is a rule I won't see changed in my lifetime, it's part of that "we're the Yankees, we're above you" mystique. Between this and the Redskins still being the Redskins it's a pissing contest for who will evolve with the times first. I guess we can only advance so far as a society. At least I can say I saw a black President in my lifetime. George said no and we have to respect the Boss!
It's so irrational to me. They'll fully guarantee nearly a third of a billion dollars to a guy who absolute best case scenario can win them 25 games a year. He could also very well have his arm fall off like countless other pitchers after 30. They're willing to spend that type of money on someone. They'll invest that type of money. But you HAVE TO keep hair off of your face because our sleaze bag, impatient fire-the-manager-43-times-in-7- years, how ironic is it that he's from "the Silent Generation", owner thinks baseball is Wall Street. Get the fuck over yourselves, Yankees.