It's a Boy! Gender Reveal Gone Wrong Leads To Wild Fires in Arizona And A Hefty Fine

In an era where people are more self-obsessed than ever, to me the dumbest thing that has come out of the "instant gratification" age is the Gender Reveal video.  I fucking hate these things like poison.  They are the "meeting that could've happened over email" of social media posts. These are the most unnecessary of the social media posts going.  Look, I love to share stuff about myself online that nobody gives a shit about too,  this website for example. But at least I'm trying to make people laugh. These ass holes are just bragging about the fact their eggs aren't scrambled. Congrats on the sex, again!

People have decided that not only is a lengthy social media post revealing that you're expecting not enough, but now an elaborate production is necessary to tell your 517 facebook friends who don't give a fuck that you're having a daughter.  Congrats. 

Sure the videos can be unintentionally funny at times, Gordon Hayward's "daddy's always happy" video being a prime example of such. 

But for the most part it's the same thing,  people finding out the gender of their unborn baby, while I root for a miscarriage. 

I don't even understand the whole reason for the party. Like are there gifts?  What do you get someone for a gender reveal party other than new friends? Like you're pregnant, you can't even get fucked up. Maybe a glass of red wine for the antioxidants or a nice contact high at absolute best case scenario? Idk.  I just cannot fathom a worse place to be on earth, than sober at a gender reveal party. 

Enter, Dennis Dickey, a (I would have to assume former) Border Patrol agent who thought it'd be a good idea to shoot at explosives to tell the world he's having a son.  It appears this reveal truly did backfire, as it caused a 45,000 acre fire that caused over 8 million dollars in damage.

A father in Arizona pleaded guilty to sparking a massive wildfire, during his gender reveal party last year, that ended up burning more than 45,000 acres. Authorities said the fire caused more than $8 million in damages; the father has been ordered to begin paying it back. pic.twitter.com/AJgkmLS7Nt

— CBS Evening News (@CBSEveningNews) November 28, 2018

In the terms of his settlement, Dennis Dickey has to pay back $500 a month for 20 years. $220,000 in total. Which all things considered isn't that bad. He's lucky nobody fucking died during due to his stupidity. I mean what was the end game here dude? .04 seconds of blue for your redneck friends to like on the facebook app of their cracked iPhone 4s? How can he be "smart" enough to make this explosive but dumb enough to not know that fire + trees = bad? 

Personally, I'm upset this guy doesn't have to pay back the full 8 million. Fuck that.  Over 45,000 acres of this great nation is ruined because your dumbass thought an explosion in the middle of a dry ass desert was a good idea. I think this is clear evidence that this guy should not be a father.  He might as well have just set his target up in a match factory, I mean look at that thing before it goes off.  It might as well be in the jungle.

I'd like to think there can be a happy ending from this story, maybe this will be a teaching moment for this nation and cause people to think? I mean fads come and go, there was a time where people got tricked into thinking a rock was a god damned pet, so anything is possible?  I'm really just hoping 20 years from now we can laugh at how stupid and egomaniacal the age of gender reveal ceremonies were and not the loss of a national park due to wild-fire.

As for those of you reading this, if you're with child, next time just tweet it out and worry about raising your kid instead of getting likes from people you wouldn't even call to tell you're expecting.


P.S.

I do feel really shitty for this kid. You get to live your whole life knowing that you're the reason you're family is poor.  Yikes. I'm sure his father won't take it out on him at all. Every time you look at that kid you get a reminder that kids will ruin your life.