Jimmy Kimmel Mean Tweets Are Always the Best

I've said it before that I'm not a late night tv guy. Just a lot of better options for me at those times (aka netflix or video games) so I'm not gonna stay up and watch some talk show. It's 2017 I don't need to see that shit live. All the best clips are on youtube so if there is something I ever want to see it's there for me the next day.

As is the case right now. I don't really watch Kimmel but I absolutely love his Mean Tweets segment. If you've never seen it basically it's just celebrities reading insults from actual tweets on the show. Pretty simple concept but it's usually v good. Unlike that bad lip reading shit everybody posts on Facebook. Nothing makes me laugh less.

​There has to be like 20 Mean Tweet segments over the last few years. It's mostly actors, but they've done everything; musicians and athletes too. It's one of my favorite series on youtube. I wish they'd go meaner and see if they can make someone cry. That would be a fun game. I should write Jimmy a letter... Well anyways, with the Super Bowl just around the corner what perfect timing for another addition of Mean Tweets with NFL players who are not playing in this year's big game. (Seeing Gronk in this video hurts)

If you can't watch the video or just want to see my witty comments here's they are!! 

He's not wrong. Also can Odell just come out all ready? Look I have no issue with the gays at all. Wicked pro gay. Do your thing. But I hate being lied to. Odell Beckham Jr is a gay guy.  It's clear as day. Nothing wrong with it,  just don't lie to us and say you're not. Don't piss on me and try to tell me it's raining. Keep making your dance videos though. 

YUGEEEEE missed opportunity here by ABC to not do a "Uhhhhhh hey JJ" tweet here, those are literally made for this showcase.  I have a feeling JJ probably said they aren't allowed to do that. SAD!

​It would've been very funny and a chance to have stoolies love him. Also Macklemore? It's not 2012 can we get a better more timely mean tweet Jimmy?

Love the Kale shirt. Also does Demarco Murray really have the star power to be here?  He's not on the Cowboys anymore. Thanks for all you did for my fantasy team this year though. 

Michael Irvin stole the show. His delivery throughout this tweet was fantastic. I love the playmaker. That look on his face is gold. 

Kurt, take off that vest you look like Aladdin. 

Look I'm not a Russell guy at all but that's simply not true. Is he overrated as hell and gets a free pass for being an interception machine in the playoffs? Seems like it. Is he raising Future's baby as his own? Sorta. Is he the corniest dude in the NFL? Yes. But Russell Wilson is a handsome dude. Get that shit out of here.

That's actually just pretty funny and accurate. Von Miller should get an endorsement from coca cola with those frames. 

Joey Bosa looks like he's about 20 seconds away from calling lawyer dad to press charges. Also Joey Bosa is DEFINITELY not a big enough star to be here. Just trying to market the L.A. guy, I don't hate the move but I bet at least 70% of the people watching thought this was just some random frat bro they pulled off the street.. Definitely don't hate the hair. 

My dude MJD blew up like a tick. Good God. This was low key the funniest one though. Hard to believe this man used to be a very good NFL running back.

Most accurate Mean Tweet of 2017. That being said, please don't kill me.

Is Josh Norman just off his shift as being the cool young hip black guy butler for some weird English millionaires? Cool it with the suit. In regards to the tweet. Kinda true, he is a zone corner. 

Look I love Gronk but he definitely didn't read that. That was just great acting and memorizing a line that some producer said to him 69 times so he'd remember it. Also you're a millionaire Robert, get a tailor. 

P.S. Looks like I had a  mean (sub) tweet directed my way yesterday as well. What are the odds!?

*Since deleted* But thank God for group chats.

Let me briefly explain the story. When I was a freshmen in high school I had this cool cowboy shirt that looked great on me. Real style for a freshmen. I did get compliments. NBD.

Well this kid (who ended up dropping out of HS) made fun of me for wearing my cowboy shirt and said "nice shirt Brokeback" You also need to remember my freshmen year of high school was the 2006-07 school year so Brokeback Mountain was like a year old and still a semi relevant pop culture reference. 

I being a young boy was not happy with this remark and shoved the kid who said it. Dumb move by me I'll admit because he would've kicked my ass, but I'm a man damnit, I had to do something. After nothing happened I walked back to my lunch table which was near an ice cream vending machine. Another thing timing me with this story because now schools do not have good treats like that. All that healthy bullshit, thanks (Mrs) Obama. Well as I was walking back to my table the young man charged at me like raging bull into the vending machine. I was blindsided and launched into the ice cream machine like a projectile. Legend has since said that he hit me so hard (and me being a bigger boy, even at like 14 years old) that is caused the language on the ice cream machine to change from English to Spanish.

I still don't know if my friends were just making fun of me or if that actually did happen. I didn't get a good look at the machine. I went to the office even though I did nothing wrong. I was a victim of a hate crime and they tried to get me in trouble. Oh well that Vice Principal got his years later and I have a decent story to tell forever about the time I flew like a rag doll into an ice cream machine because some homophobic high school dropout was intimidated by my style and pazazz.