In the dog days of summer it is hard to find good stuff to blog about. I mean I just wrote about Mick Jagger, (I wrote this on Monday) who the hell am I?
But my friends and hopefully future colleagues at barstool always complain about lack of content in the summer so in order to combat that, I'm gonna make the content myself. Not to toot my own horn (toot, toot) but these self deprecating blogs like dozo at the dentist or recapping my college graduation day are my best work, know what I'm saying?
This is meant to be light hearted, but I do hate when people say you shouldn't have regrets. To me that's not true. Life is all about experiences, the mistakes and shit help us grow. Just because you regret something doesn't necessarily make it bad or a mistake. Idk if that makes sense but in my head it does and and that's all that matters. With this it's not gonna be ranked like 1-10 instead I'm gonna break it into categories of regret. Enough with that, hopefully this gives you a good laugh. I feel kinda weird putting this out there but whatever if it makes people laugh it's worth it---
Let's get started!
Unlike Riley in Inside Out, when I quit hockey I quit for good because I am an idiot. But when I was a kid I wasn't nearly as big into sports as I am now. Cared way more about pokemon and playing tony hawk on N64. If you wanna call me a loser that's okay, I'd agree. But I did play hockey for a few years from like 2nd-4th grade.
A few highlights really stand out to me in my hockey career: I got in trouble for making fun of a mom in the locker room once. My dad really yelled at me at the way home, but whatever that lady was being annoying AF and she got called out.
I played goalie one game because didn't have a full time goalie and everybody took turns. I allowed 8 goals on 16 shots. I remember the coach saying, well you stopped half. Shades of things to come from my lacrosse career.
Lastly my biggest hockey highlight was that I scored a goal in my final game, which was a semi-finals game that we lost. But I did my part. Talk about going out on top. I actually scored 2 goals but one got called back, I don't remember why, probably because I was being too much of a man at 11 years old and the refs didn't like that.
I vividly remember quitting because the skates hurt my feet. What a pussy, right? After I quit that's when I went from a sorta chubby kid to a full on fatty. I can pinpoint the beginning of me as a truly fat slob from when I quit hockey. Now I'm not saying I would've been a star but if I stuck with hockey, I doubt I would've gotten as fat as I did. That alone puts quitting hockey on my regret list. Low key top 3 biggest regrets of my life.
Not Playing Little League.
I played T-ball and that's it. Didn't have the passion for baseball I do now. I wish I stuck with it just to have to experiences and memories most kids have from little league. Plus I throw like a girl, it would've been cool to not have that happen. I'm terrified of if I have a son that'll have to have a buddy of mine teach him how to throw. That's fucking sad.
Not attending the Patriots Super Bowl 49 Parade.
No joke, I love the Patriots more than most other things in my life. It goes like family 1, patriots 2, pizza 3, music 4. When they finally ended their decade long Super Bowl victory drought I was so happy that I cried. It was awesome. Malcolm Butler honestly you have no idea how much your interception means to me.
Being the diehard Boston sports fan that I am I went to the Bruins 2011 and Red Sox 2013 parades, however in early 2015 when the Pats parade took place I had JUST started student teaching and was trying to be professional and opted not to go. It also was a wicked snowy time and my piece of shit car wouldn't last in that weather so I decided to student teach instead. What makes this regret even worse is that my cooperating teacher gave me permission to go and I didn't because I wanted to be professional. What an idiot!!!
I might never teach a day in my life and I missed a party I was waiting a decade for. Kills me that I wasn't there to witness the madness. When the Pats win Super Bowl 51 I won't miss that celebration.
Everything About My High School Football Career.
Just a total bust. Never lifted weights, never won shit, never lived up to my full potential. Could've been so much better. Never spoke up to coaches. Fucked up my back wicked badly my senior year, and just played through it because I didn't wanna miss time of the final year of football for my entire life. It still gives me problems, back issues are the fucking worst. I let too much bad shit happen. My senior year was a nightmare after a junior year that ended prematurely, I should have a ring. I'm totally over this..... I mean it's just high school who cares, it didn't eat away at me for years or anything.....
Growing up Regrets
Never Saving Money.
Real talk. Save your fucking money. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've had a ton of fun in my life from the events that transpired from blowing every cent I ever made, but I have no savings whatsoever. When your card gets declined it is the most embarrassing feeling in the world. Do whatever you can to make sure that doesn't happen.
It's cool and smart to save money and be a real person, don't be like me. Again, have fun, but you really don't need to buy everything that catches your eye on Amazon. I promise you this.
Save Dat Money.
Not Wearing My Retainer.
TBH this is more my parents fault than mine, my dad truly is the one to blame here, but I won't get into that. I'll raise my hand and take a little accountability, even though I was 13 years old and just moved back to Rhode Island from Florida.
My dad never got me a new orthodontist, so once my retainer broke I just was SOL. Totally my fault, I mean a 13 year old in 8th grade totally should be responsible for scheduling his own orthodontist appointments. This is totally on me........
Regardless of who I wanna point the finger at, my jacked up teeth are something I have to deal with now. So in addition to growing up fat I also had a gap tooth. It's not like Michael Strahan, but I'm still self conscious AF about it. My friends used to say I have teeth like piano keys. Man that fact that I've even had sex with one girl is a minor miracle. Whatever, once I get a real job with dental, it's the first thing I'm fixing.
Being a Pussy in General.
I was too scared to put myself out there to make new friends in college. Aside from roommates, I'd say I made maybe 5 friends in college. I was (am) too scared to approach chicks at the bar. I was too worried to do anything.
Don't do that, life is all about taking chances. If you ask a girl out and she says no, guess what, you're just right back where you were 10 minutes ago. Just take chances in life, it's something I've been doing a lot more of lately. And by that I mean I've actually tried instead of just being too scared to make a move. I know it can be tough to put yourself out there whether it be with dating, jobs, or anything else, but don't be crippled by fear of rejection like I was/am.
TAKE A CHANCE!!!!
Being A Bad Boyfriend.
I know my friends will shit on me for saying this (if they even read this blog), but I can honestly say I don't give one fuck with they have to say about this topic. Love my boys, but given their histories nobody can say shit to me. For the most part, I am over everything, this blog is just about reflection and for the most part trying to make strangers on the internet laugh, but with this I'll try to be short and sweet.
Appreciate what you have in life, don't take anything for granted. I really did love her, but idk I just lost track of things and became a person I didn't wanna be. She's definitely responsible for some shit too. But overall I'd blame myself 60-40 for our demise. I took shit out on the one person who truly cared about me and just emotionally neglected her for the last 6 months or so. Idk I guess I thought the grass was greener on the other side. I just was mean, and didn't appreciate her. A lot of what happened is my own fault.
What I'm trying to say is deeper than just this example of my personal life.
In life appreciate what you have. You might have a shitty car, but at least you have a car. Many people don't have one. Obviously there are cases in life where there are better things out there whether it be a better job or any another opportunity; but overall don't take what you have for granted.
7th grade school picture. 2004-05 school year. Yes you are seeing that correctly, I had blonde spiked bangs. No I was not in a pop-punk band.
Getting So Drunk when I was 15 that I Shit my Pants and Went to the Hospital.
I'm not gonna say don't drink before you're 21 because that's stupid AF. Some of my best memories in life involve drinking underage. Drinking is top 5 best part of life, but it can also be top 5 worst parts if you're not responsible. I was not responsible at 15. That is too young.
However what I will say is do not chug 1/2 a handle of Captain Morgan. You WILL go to the hospital. Best advice I'll ever give is avoid doing that at all costs. Really ruined my sophomore year of high school. I think someone called me "party pooper" at least once a day for an entire year.
Not Trying Harder In School.
This will make me sound like a douchebag, but I am wicked fucking smart. I know my awful grammar and typos in my blogs may make you think otherwise, but it's a fact I'm very intelligent. My transcript would tell you otherwise as well, because I realized very early that I could give about 60% effort and still do decent in school. I did this in college too and it was stupid. My grades were okay but could've been much better, laziness and an overall lack of effort are the biggest reasons I'm writing this blog right now and not working a real job.
So kids, try, it's worth it.
Not Taking Better Care of Myself.
Short and sweet- you only get one body. CHERISH IT!!!! While I won't say avoid junk food and drinking at all costs because that's stupid, enjoy your life. I will say, don't do it for every single day for a decade. That shit will catch up to you. Mix in a salad once and a while. They suck, but just do it.
Not Learning How to Play a Musical Instrument.
I talk about it all the time, I fucking love music. Unfortunately apart from doing Karaoke, I don't really have any musical ability. I was in jazz band in middle school for a year and half but that doesn't count. I've always wanted to learn how to play guitar, I've owned multiple guitars in fact. Can't do shit. It's not too late but I wish I stuck with it and learned some basics.
Plus it's a great thing to help get chicks. Bumps you up at least 1 point. As someone who needs all the help they can get, I'm soooooo fucking stupid for not learning how to play at least a few cords.
Not Learning Life Skills
How do taxes work?
How do I get a credit card?
How do you fix anything on a car or around the house?
How do you properly satisfy a woman in bed?
What is an IRA?
How do you properly iron a shirt?
How do politics work? ( I used to know when I was in school but forgot the second I graduated)
These are all l things I have no idea how to do. I can tell you the most absurd trivial facts about music or sports but I can't do any man stuff. I'm not handy at all, and my dad is maybe the handiest man I've ever met. I hung up a sign yesterday and didn't check for a stud. It'll probably fall off my wall as soon as theres a minor storm.
I just have no idea what to do in the real world and it terrifies me. I can change a flat fire and that's about it. Wish I paid better attention to my dad growing up with how to be a man. Listen to your dad. I truly am a man child.
I seriously think all high schools should be required to have a "life skills" course. Show kids how taxes work and just how to do shit independently. It's way more important than learning science shit that I'll literally never use. Why did I take physics but not life 101?
I guess that's it. Hope you enjoyed! Again overall I'm pretty satisfied with my life but this was oddly therapeutic, plus if it makes people laugh I'll or can help them out I'll do anything!
late edit.... I'll add one final one.
Not Spending More Time With Family
You only get one man. Believe me I know they can be annoying and you may even fucking hate them at times but family is all you fucking have. Always say I love you to your parents, you never know when they're gonna die. That got kinda morbid but you know what I mean. I only see my mom like 3 weeks a year, make more time for your family! Aunts, uncles, cousins, everybody. If you're in my family and read this let's hang out soon!