I love twitter dot com even though, like most things I've ever loved, it doesn't love me back. I've been on twitter since '09, and although my handle has changed multiple times, my typo ridden, luke warm takes, and intoxicated thoughts have not. #hiredozo!!!
Originally I used twitter as an instant messenger substitute during senior project class to talk to my friends since it wasn't blocked on the high school computers unlike every other good website. We would just tweet at each other and not work on our notecards. Fun times! Over the years my usage evolved to talking about sports and drunkenly sub-tweeting my ex girlfriend. Even funner times!
Over the years twitter grew in popularity, but has been on a steady decline in my circle since like 2014. I use it more so as an internet newspaper now, an internet newspaper that I can also give my shitty commentary on life on. As a blogger, with aspirations much larger than DOL I use it to share my random thoughts, talk sports/music and try to make people laugh. Sometimes I actually do!
Nowadays (at least in my circle) twitter use has gone down rather severely. There was a time where it felt like every person my age was active on twitter. It started off like one of those car giveaways, you know the ones in the movies where everybody has a hand on the car, and the last person touching the car wins it?
In 2012 everybody I ever knew was touching the twitter car.
Now there's like a half dozen people still holding on. Some went down in a blaze of glory.
It sucks, I'm gonna be serious for moment, as someone trying to make it online, when a tweet you think was good gets no love it fucking sucks. I'm trying to build a brand here, people! It's because of my 400+ followers, I'd say less than 30 are actual people who are still active on twitter. So statistically it's not that crazy for them to not find what I said informative or hilarious, even if it was. Let me tell you, there's no worse feeling than when a tweet you thought you knocked out of the park gets zero retweets or favorites. Literally no worse feeling on earth. It's the worst thing that can ever happen to a person.
Well, luckily for me there's former Patriots TE Martellus Bennett to let me know that just because I don't have the audience I'd like doesn't mean my tweets aren't good. Sidenote: can't help but noticed he spewed this garbage take right after 4:20 pm. I'm no detective, but it's quite possible the recently retired TE was high on marijuana which altered his judgement to give such a poor take.
I actually got Chick-Fil-A last weekend for the first time in like 12 years and it wasn't bad, but come on bro this take stinks. For those of you wondering why I went so long without eating Chick-Fil-A it was out of respect and support for all the gays out there, so you're welcome gays, you've got a friend in me (not literally, don't go in me)
But after the New Yorker wrote the most ridiculous article about Chick-Fil-A I swerved and got it out of protest to the worst piece of writing of 2018. I'm all over the place politically.
As someone who's had In & Out exactly one (1) time, I felt it was best to recycle an old twitter joke and put Marty B in his place. I'll show him!
Well, whadaya know? Marty saw and replied with the ultra-genuine "Hahahaha. Good One"
Everybody knows if you get a "haha" which is like the cousin of the "k" text, they don't actually think what you said is funny. In fact in many cases, quite the opposite. I'd rather get an "lol" than a "haha" tbh. If you get over let's say 10 "ha's" then the person is going overboard, and probably trying to sleep with you.
Luckily for me this tweet feel right in the sweet spot with 8 "ha's" which causes me to believe this was at the very least an okay tweet. Which is all I'm shooting for, I'm cool with okay. You can make a career off being okay. Grilled cheese is okay and everybody fucking loves those Great Depression necessity sandwiches. Thanks for the exposure Marty. #hiredozo
Getting replies from celebrities is still cool af. II used to screenshot all of them, I remember Vince Wilfork replied to a tweet of mine when I was waiting to get a haircut like 7 years ago. Idc what people say, or if they think it's lame to care...I care, I get excited every time. It's one of the best parts of twitter how you can potentially get an answer from anybody on earth.
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