It's hard to believe, but this is the last week where Barack Obama is President of the United States. After two terms it will all be over on Friday. It's kind of hard for me to fully grasp. The man who will go down in history as the first black President of the United States is being followed up by the first President who hosted a game show for 14 seasons.
I can't help but get a little sentimental about Obama and his time in office. Regardless what you think of him, for people my age Barack Obama was their first President. He's the first President where I can fully remember my entire life during the duration of his entire presidency. He tried to be relatable to young people. He's the first President I ever voted for. Barry's been in charge since my junior year of high school. Really formidable years. When I look back on late high school and college aka the best years of my life. It'll all be times when Obama was the President. I remember my entire school being crammed in the Narragansett High School auditorium watching the inauguration on like a 28 inch box tv (remember it was 2009) like it was yesterday. Then bam, all of a sudden 8 years of your life just happened.
I'm not here to talk legacy, or what was/wasn't accomplished during Obama's term, I'm here to talk about his final days. It's senior week for Obama. After eight years, it's coming to an end. He's done no matter what happens on Friday. Graduation date is set. 1/20/2017. It's happening. He can work all he wants, but Trump is going to change everything the second he gets in so why waste your time? These days are about you Barack. Might as well enjoy the final moments in the White House and have some fun. Obama owes it to his fellow American's to use his final week to give us some much needed comic relief.
So Obama if you're reading this which I know you are because I'm probably on some watch list at this point here's what I'm thinking. You and Joe have one last adventure in the White House. Tell Michelle if you want, but if you wanna just keep this a bro thing than be my guest. You all have 3 days left. 3 days to Boobie-Trap the White House.
Think of everything Kevin Mcallister did. He did it all in one night BY HIMSELF. You can have the help of your right hand man Joey B and all the Secret Service you want. Best part is you can't get in trouble because you did it when you were still President. I'm pretty sure that's how the law works so just go with that.
This is what I'm thinking to get the ball rolling. I imagine Donald is going to be spending a lot of time in the Oval Office. I could see him giving a press conference everyday from there so the first thing we fuck with is the desk. I'm thinking you loosen the chair up just a little bit. Not enough for it to break day one, come on that would be obvious as hell. But just enough so over a few weeks of Trump putting his feet up and laying back in that baby that it snaps. Kind of like the bolt in the Bobsled of Cool Runnings. Over time from being loose it will break. Now with Trump's ego he's probably going to have an address from the Oval Office everyday just to remind people that he's President so the chance of this being seen be the entire country is pretty high. Even if the American people don't get to see it live, it will happen and you'll be able to know that it was because of you which sometimes is all the satisfaction a person needs.
Next you guys install a squirt gun underneath the desk in the oval office. Again, you don't want this to go off right away to raise suspicion. So this is gonna need a timer or a remote control. You're the President, I'm just an idea guy, so you're gonna be responsible for finding a way to make that work but I know you can make it happen. But here's what I'm thinking. Whenever President Trump is about to leave the Oval Office in a hurry for a big meeting with Putin or give an impromptu press conference just have that squirt gun go off a little bit on the crotch of his pants. Harmless prank that will make the Donald feel really embarrassed. I have a feeling Donald Trump cannot feel his dick unless he's about 3 Viagra deep so he probably won't even notice tbh. Then when he stands up oh look, the big bad President pissed his pants. Everybody can laugh about that when they're worried about having their rights taken away, it will be wicked fun.
But seriously Barry, think of all the hyjinx you could have in the final few days with Joe by your side. All the lasting memories of you guys putting saran wrap on all the White House toilets, throwing dead fish up into the vents, forking the White House lawn.
Sure, you could go out the same boring way like every President ever (excluding Lincoln and JFK) or you could be truly remembered as the guy who made the first couple weeks in the White House a living hell for Donny.
I think you know which way to go.