Outlawing Handheld Cell Phone Usage In Rhode Island Is Hogwash

I was driving home today from work and saw on one of the overhead digital signs on the highway with the message  "Handheld cell phone usage laws go into effect on June 1st". Which means we (I) only have 37 more days to send snaps of singing while driving before it results in a $100 ticket. Jk I don't do those anymore because I got fat and don't wanna post my ugly mug on snappy.

Any-who, you know the signs I'm talking about, the ones that are basically beepers. They just relay messages to drivers. (which ironically is not very safe!)

At first they were a good idea, they be used to make people aware of traffic, accidents, or god-forbid an Amber Alert. But now they usually are some shitty pun, play on words, or poor attempt at humor. 

I reaaaaaaally wish there were better examples of them on google, because some of these signs are ridiculous.  They do more harm than good because you end up getting distracted for 5 minutes trying to figure out wtf the DOT is talking about. 

​Back to my main point, this law...it's fucking stupid. 

How is phone usage while driving going to be illegal but cigarettes are still legal AF? Those idiot are okay with lung cancer, I’m okay with potentially dying from changing songs and looking at dank ass memes.

— Ryan #hiredozo (@rhodydoz) April 24, 2018

Seriously, refer to the tweet. How can cigarettes be legal, which not only kill their users but also people who don't even smoke them (2nd hand smoke ever heard of it?) but phone usage is no bueno? This law pisses me off so much, I know this isn't exactly the most groundbreaking news, as we've known for about a year since Gina "drop in the bucket" Raimondo passed the law last summer, but still, that sign reminding just got me fired up. With the new law going into effect on June 1st there are only a few more weeks where Rhode Islanders can legally hold their cell phone while driving. Then we're gonna be just little more like Connecticut,,, gross. 

Not to go full Ron Swanson libertarian on you, but this is some serious overuse of power. I pay the taxes that in theory help repair the roads, I say in theory because there are more potholes in Rhode Island than Dunkin Donuts. As someone who pays for these roads I should be able to use phone on them if I so do please. I bought them.

I agree that we need to make the roads safer and people probably shouldn't be texting while driving, but this is just your classic case of overkill. Like when one little bad pair of shoes changed the flying experience for everybody. Don't let a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch I always say. I know a few other states have already passed this law but idc about them, I'm talking about Rhody. Just because some dumb ass 17 year olds suck at texting and driving doesn't mean you have to ruin it for the rest of us! I'm nasty (the good type) at texting and driving. It's really not that hard. You don't even need to look at your phone. I've had an iPhone since 2011 (nbd) and I've never been in an accident because of it.

via GIPHY

​I can hold my phone while driving to make a call too and be completely fine. Some say I'm gifted, in which case I'd have to agree. I can totally pay attention to the road while not paying attention to whatever my parents are saying, as they are the only people who ever call me. To me this more of a money grab than actually caring about safety. People are addicted to their phones, I know I am. Most people hold their phones while driving and this is just a way for Rhode Island to cash in on people's habits. I'm predicting massive amounts of tickets this summer from this law. Quite a hot take, I know.

You shouldn't text and drive, but sending a quick tweet, or googling a random thought about what number Poison by Bell Biv DeVoe peaked at on the Hot 100 should be totally cool imo. Especially if the roads are clear, or you're stuck in traffic. We've all been there, we're all human. 

Because if this is truly about safety, if you're gonna outlaw phone usage to make people less distracted while driving then you might as well go all in and make all distractions illegal. I'm talking eating while driving illegal, or holding a fucking dog while driving.

Idk about you, but I am waaaaay more distracted eating a Chipotle burrito than I am when I use my phone. Once you get to the final third of the burrito (which for me is after about 7 bites)  it's a war against gravity and shitty burrito rollers. Seriously, it's your fucking job to roll a burrito, have some pride your job one time and do a good job. Every bite is a gamble, it's like they're made of damp papier-mâché, they fall apart like Post Malone. I'm way more distracted trying to hold my burrito at the perfect angle to avoid getting hot salsa and black beans on my shirt while driving than I am when I pound the 15 second fast forward button 5 times during ad-reads on Pardon My Take. Bottom line, how about a little consistency when deciding what is and isn't  considered a crime while driving? After all I paid for those roads.


P.S.

Poison by Bel Biv DeVoe peaked at #3 on the Hot 100 in 1990 but ended up as the #4 song of the year!