If you're unfamiliar with Cameo, it's essentially a service where people can pay an actor, athlete, musician, politician, really anybody with some sort of status that elevates them to a level where they can get away with charging anywhere from 20 bucks to over $2,500 for a 30 to 60 second personalized video.
Unfortunately, in my last blog about Cameo the first celebrity that I mentioned, Sam Lloyd aka Ted from Scrubs, passed away from Cancer less than two months after posting, so I don't want to give anymore mass examples of people available on this service at the risk of playing Grim Reaper.
There's all types of requests on Cameo for birthday wishes, good lucks, etc. but IMO the best Cameos are the ones where people delegate things they don't want to do to a celebrity. My personal favorite is from 2019 when Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray (off the charts, but always in your hearts) broke the news to Brayden that his girlfriend, Cheyenne, was breaking up with him because she couldn't handle a LDR anymore.
No exaggeration/hyperbole/lie, this is one of the funniest videos to ever be posted on the internet; hopefully Brayden did well on his thesis!
So five days ago, a 20 year old TikToker @shhlana sort of followed Cheyenne and let's call it.. hundreds of others footsteps by using Cameo to have a third party break some difficult news.
Government name, Alana, mentioned on her TikTok that she needs to come out to her parents and thought that booking a celebrity on Cameo to break the news would be "like iconic" and mentioned asking Lindsay Lohan as potential celeb to do so.
Well wouldn't you know that Lindsay Lohan actually responded with one of the most heartfelt messages you'll ever see. There's so much love you could have confused her with Florence Welch. I know there's like 20 filters on this video, but daaamn Lindsay's lookin good too. It's fucking wild to think she's only 34 after how hard she was living.
Now it's 2021 and even though things have improved tenfold for the LGBTQ+ community in just the last 15ish years, I'm not going to act like coming out isn't still a big deal. Every story is different, and every queer person deserves the right to do it at their own pace. I think the last four years have shown there's still plenty of people full of hate, so I completely understand being scared. It just breaks my heart that that's still the case. I want everybody to be able to be authentically themselves.
I'm high key scared to text my friends to hang out (pre-COVID) in fear of rejection, and I'm a huge push things off guy, so I love the idea of passing the buck to Cady Heron. I love the creativity by Alana to think outside the box (no pun intended) to tell her parents some news that historically has been difficult to give,,,,, but I do have side with Lindsay that it'd much more meaningful coming from Alana. Plus, I don't know how effective a message from an actress who once played thicccc Hermione on SNL would be to this chicks parents who she's clearly apprehensive about telling her truth to.
All that being said, this chick spent $400 on a message from THE Lindsay Lohan to tell her parents that she's coming out and I'm sorry that video simply does not tell her parents that specific news. It's not like Lindsay Lohan is charging Jorge Cantu like rates where you can just cut your losses.
We're talking serious cash for a Lohan Cameo. I'm almost positive that she dropped the price in reaction to this clip, but I'm also sort of just guessing that. Either way it ain't cheap!
Sidenotes: I'm no Warren Buffett, but if you need to put a cameo on layaway, you probably shouldn't get it.
While there's no denying how nice the message Lindsay left was, it didn't fulfill the request; plain and simple. Also she is straight up lying. You cannot guarantee that her parents will understand. You don't know this girl, what if her mom makes Kellyanne Conway look like Mrs. Gump?
Just because Lindsay said something nice doesn't mean it's worth a couple hundred bucks. Sure, you could argue the views @shhlana's TikTok is getting are worth a couple hundred bucks, but that sets an awful slippery precedent if you ask me. If you hire a clown, bouncy house, the hole nine for a kid's birthday party and a fucking magician shows up, just because the kids like him and have a decent time doesn't mean you should have to pay for the clown and bouncy house. I worked in a pizza place for five years and have heard "the customer is always right" more times than amount of holes you can poke in that idiotic statement, but by the letter of the law she didn't fulfill her request. If you're at a bar and order some gross $14 IPA and the bartender gives you a Miller Lite, but it's super busy and you're too nervous to speak up for yourself you shouldn't get charged for the IPA.
Maybe I'm wrong here, but I don't think Lindsay Lohan can in good faith accept the charge for this message, even after looking at her depressing net worth. Shit, now I'm almost having second thoughts about this entire blog I spent hours building. How can you be in arguably the best non-R rated high school comedy of all time and have less than a milli to your name?
It's for sure an awesome gesture of Lindsay to respond, but facts are facts. She did not directly come out for this girl. So I'll put it up to a poll. What do you think? Should Lindsay accept the money or return it to @shhlana?
I fucking LOVE the default name on the sign up page for Cameo, but grossed out with how recent the birthday is.
Now this is the accountability I'm talking about.