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The Boston Celtics Are Still Alive (unlike their Land Lord) and Begin Their ECSF Series Tonight (prob in like 20 minutes by the time this blog is published)

5/1/2023

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Full disclosure, I am starting my blogging day incredibly late today because I passed out during Game 7 of the Bruins series (I woke up early and was a dead guy), which made my already fucked up sleep schedule even worse!

I can't watch NESN on YoutubeTV because John Henry is a piece of fucking garbage, but even in my biggest hockey days, I was never a watch every regular season game guy. Most of my Bruins watching this season was from about five TVs down from my favorite recumbent bike at Planet Fitness. Since those broadcasts aren't in HD (which is fucking bananas in 2023) at the gym, it's hard to get a good look at the puck, but my eyes have wandered towards the hockey over their record-setting regular season.

I'm not looking for credit or points here, but I had a bad feeling, like Cobra Man's best song, that the Bruins' playoff run would be short. My main reason for these thoughts is that in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, the best teams frequently lose in the first round. I just had a gut feeling the Bruins would have some bad breaks after losing like 17 games all year with OT losses and all that shit. Bergy being banged up worried me as well. This sucks for him, and that bums me out. I'll always love Patrice.

Truthfully, I don't really care about the Bruins as a whole. I'm more focused on getting my life together and maybe having sex again someday before I die. I would've liked to see them move on; I fucking hate the state of Florida, its fascist governor, and its quasi-confederate state flag, so that makes it a bit worse, but the Bruins don't really matter to me anymore (while I do hope they do well!). I love all the guys left from 2011 and wanted them to have another Cup run, but they fucking blew it. I feel for the Bruins fans who are hurting right now, and while I was a little bummed when I woke up and saw they lost after giving up the game-tying goal with a minute left in regulation. 

However, now that the Bruins' failure of a season (s/o Giannis) is over, we can focus on the Boston Celtics, who begin their Eastern Conference Semifinals clash with their Atlantic Division rivals, the Philadelphia 76ers.

You wanted Boston? Here we are.#BeatPHILA pic.twitter.com/nGFBhLxtQ1

— Boston Celtics (@celtics) May 1, 2023
What a stat!! That means Jaylen has wayyyy more (it my math serves me correctly, 10 more) playoff wins than the Sixers in the past 15 years.

Playoff Wins in the Past 15 Years:

Jayson Tatum: 38
Philadelphia 76ers: 37

HIM. #BleedGreen pic.twitter.com/FmtesRYEcC

— Celtics Lead (@CelticsLead) April 30, 2023
I don't want to get too cocky because we've seen plenty of upsets throughout the first round. Between both conferences, all 1-8 seeds are still represented, which is something that had never happened before in NBA history.
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A post shared by WTF Stats (@wtfstats)

The Sixers have some guys, and while Doc Rivers has a long and storied history of playoff failures (especially in Boston!), he is technically "one of the 15 greatest coaches in NBA history."

Meanwhile, the C's step-coach (while I love that he's a Rhode Islander) frustrates the shit out of me at times. He hates timeouts and has some questionable rotations. I wish Brad would come back for the playoff run, but I understand why that won't happen.

Even with Embiid healthy, I'm not worried about the 76ers. We own them. I don't need data or facts to support that claim. I have eyes and a brain. I know what's happened throughout my lifetime. Sure, Dr. J beat us a couple of times in the 80s, but I wasn't alive, so it doesn't matter or impact this series in any shape or form. I'm much more worried about the Boston Celtics beating themselves than the Sixers taking control. The last thing we need tonight is one of Tatum's 2/18 stinkers.

I'm just rambling as I try to stay in a position where my back pain is tolerable, but I love the Celtics' chances in this series. It's championship or bust. Of course, that worries me because anything can happen...That's why it's so crucial for the Celtics to take care of business tonight. You cannot let the Sixers win a game without Embiid. If they were to win tonight somehow, my confidence would dissolve like an Alka Seltzer tablet.

via GIPHY

Am I really supposed to be concern that JNCO James Harden is gonna play like its 2018?
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A post shared by House of Highlights (@houseofhighlights)

My official prediction for this series is Celtics in 5.5. I wouldn't be surprised to see Embiid have a big game at some point (if he even gets on the floor), but the C's are too fucking deep and on a mission. Did you see that face Tatum made during Game 6??
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I think we're gonna have an ECF rematch in a few weeks, buuuut we still must focus at the challenge at hands. The 76ers are indeed an NBA basketball team and capable of beating the Boston Celtics. I mean, they already it once this year in a game where Embiid dropped 52 and they nearly blew seven point lead in 9.1 seconds.
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Since I want there to be a slight chance someone reads this blog before tipoff and I'm battling a tinfoil back, I'm going to the gym for a quick 30-minute bike sess before tipoff. That concludes this blog. Should the Celtics win tonight, I'm sure I'll say a little something on DOL. If they lose, I'll be sad chain-smoking bowls until further notice. Outside of getting my life together (which is going semi-well) and fascism not happening, the Celtics playoff run is my biggest priority rn. BLEEEEEEEED GREEEEEEEN
P.S.

This was cute!!

â–¡â–¡ @jaytatum0 https://t.co/u4jmH1riL1

— Janet Jackson (@JanetJackson) April 29, 2023
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