Through the first three games of the 2022 Eastern Conference Finals, the Boston Celtics have put on a master's class on how costly mistakes can be. Despite not being outscored in 10 of 12 quarters the series has produced, they're down two games to one. I hate how that sentence sounds, but ugly stats get ugly sentences.
It's incredibly frustrating because they are the better team (IMO), but put themself into a corner where a loss tonight would all but end their season by playing piece of shit, sloppy steak basketball. Of course, they wouldn't be technically eliminated, but down 3-1 with games 5 and 7 on the road is hashtag not ideal and basically a death sentence. Before I even get into this little preview blog situation, sorry for no blog coverage this weekend (that's what twitter's for). I was busy dominating the cobblestone streets of Newport as the city's best Ubahhhh driver. Since I control my hours, I pulled over to watch most of the game on my phone and was in a terrible mood for the rest of the night. To all my passengers reading this, sorry Dozie was a tad crabby. Suppose you want to be optimistic going into tonight. In that case, you could note that despite how truly awful Jayson Tatum was in Game 3 and Jaylen Brown hand-delivering the basketball to Heat players on the regular, they were only down 1 point with a little over 2 minutes to play. They battled. The Celtics played close to their worst game and almost won, but it's maddening they're even in this position. It makes me more pissed. You stole home-court in game 2, then come home and play like a JV team in the first quarter. It's inexcusable. Unlike past ECF runs by this core, this Celtics team has the talent to win a championship. I think that's what made this series so infuriating so far. These aren't your I.T. and Jae Crowder Celtics. Jayson Tatum is a borderline superstar, but nights like Saturday leave you scratching your head. And yes, Jaylen had 40 points, but his sloppy play (7 turnovers; 3 missed free throws) made it meaningless. But all season, these two bounced back after disappointments, and I expect nothing short of that tonight. It's been the C's narrative all year. They were 18-21 and are one of the last four teams standing. If this team is going to win a championship, or at the very least make the Finals, tonight is a must win game. I'm no doctor, but unless playing on it makes it worse, Timelord has to at least try to go tonight. It's the fucking ECF!!! As I'm writing this blog, I'm like, Dozie, this is C- work at best, but I'll be honest, I'm a little distracted. I'm too jazzed up because I'll be in the Garden tonight, bleeding green, cheering on our guys, showing that Dozo still believes. If we can comeback and a win a series after what happened in Game 5 vs. Milwaukee, we can certainly still comeback against the Heat.
I love this team and talk hella shit when they suck because I care. I know they're capable of winning it all. The question is do they? Are they like Ole Dozo and too big of a pussy to take the next step? Oh, the irony...
I just want this ring soooo badly. It's been over three years since I've witnessed one of my teams win a championship, and spoiler alert, life has not been too sweet in the meantime. I need this, we need this. Plus, I'm like 45% sure a Civil War is coming, so I'd really like to see my favorite basketball team win another championship before the South tries to rise again. Here are my are the official DOL keys to victory.
Fuck the Miami Heat, their ransom note jerseys and coked-out, head to toe in linen fair-weather fans (although I do love linen too). You're the Boston Celtics, the most storied franchise in the National Basketball Association. It's #NBA75, and the Warriors are already in the Finals. Celtics-Warriors is the match-up the league wants and needs. Screw these expansion losers who took your conference title in 2012 and 2020, and play with some fucking heart tonight to even this series up. I don't care if you metaphorically crack someone's skull on the parquet. Do whatever it takes to win, and don't let this opportunity go to waste. I'll be bleeding green in loge with my bff/e-bro. Please don't make me sad all week by dropping 8u on a ticket to your funeral. Show some heart and bounce back like you have all season. I'm a narrative guy, and that's been the narrative all year. Jayson be HIM tonight (whatever that means), and Jaylen, I don't think the NBA cares about stickem, or maybe wear receiver gloves tonight and see if that helps? Let's go Celtics! P.S. Congrats Marcus. Now some that heart and hustle in a blowout, stress-free Game 4 victory!
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