The Doz On Life Guide to Drinksgiving

​Whatever you wanna call it; Drinksgiving, Blackout Wednesday or simply the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, there's no denying that this night is one of the biggest nights of the year for twenty-somethings.   It's the one night a year where most of the people you grew up with and/or went to school with are back in town either at a local bar, or party catching up.  Nearly everyone has the day off and it's a non-religious holiday; so pretty much everybody celebrates it.   It always has the potential to be one of the most fun nights of the entire year.   IMO this sacred Wednesday night is one of the top 3 drinking nights of the year.  It's the 4th of July of the Fall.  You're about to have a 4 day-weekend filled with some fantastic food,  family,  friends,  football,  parades,  mid-day napping,  shopping and more.   So you gotta start off your break the right way.   With lots, like a lot of booze with a bunch of people who you can tolerate for a few hours one night a year.


You're gonna have to endure the entire next day with your extended family or even better, your significant others extended family. For some that may be a great thing, but for some it's a day you've been dreading for months.  What better way to prepare for that then to get blackout drunk with everybody who went to your high school since like 2002 and/or trying to bang that random person from your class that you've had a crush on since you were like 14.


I'm a big do as I say, not as I do guy.  While I try, sometimes I do not follow my own great advice,  but I'm a man of the people and always try to lead others in the right direction. 

Sureeeeee, maybe I got too drunk at a tailgate this summer and slept through an entire Jimmy Buffett concert this summer but that doesn't change that I'm a great advice guy.  I've made literally thousands of mistakes that are related to booze in one way or another,  so use my shortcomings to improve your life.  I'm probably a lost cause,  but you may not be!  So with that being said if you follow my advice I'm sure you'll have a great Drinksgiving with a bunch of people you haven't seen in months. 




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Eat Dinner

I've had far too many nights of drinking where I simply was too busy to or forgot to eat. I know as a fat guy that sounds like a bold-faced lie, like you're probably thinking "Dozo you've never skipped a meal in your life" , but I swear it's true. Happens a lot more in the summer than you would believe. While it is cool because it makes it easier to get drunk quickly, 9 times out of 10 it will lead to catastrophe and a few embarrassing texts the next morning that make you wanna kill yourself. Speaking from experience. While we all wanna get trashed and have fun. You wanna be the right kind of trashed...a fun and happy trashed. Just make sure you don't drink on an empty stomach. 
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Get a Pre-Game Spot

Great way to catch up and have some fun with some old friends. Highly recommend this. Plus you're in your mid to late 20's now and probably don't play a ton of drinking games anymore. Maybe you do, I don't know.  But it's fun to go back in time play beer pong or kings once in a while.  Sucks I'm so good at a game that literally doesn't matter anymore. Won a beer pong contest in college, NBD. 

Figure Out Your Ride Situation Ahead of Time

Drinking and driving is not cool. I'm not gonna act all high and mighty and say I've never done it before. Luckily nothing has ever happened.  But it's something we all need to avoid doing.  Especially on this night, it's going to be cop city population: wherever you are. They also know it's Drinksgiving.  Basically a dry-run for New Years Eve for your local police-department.  It's just so stupid and totally not worth it,  God-forbid you kill someone,  then your life is basically over as well.  I sound like my own mother and I hate it but,  it's true. Wow DOL is getting kinda heavy right now.

All because you didn't wanna spend $30 on a ride.  Either get a DD,  taxi,  uber or have cool parents that will wake up at 2 am to drive you home.  I'm banking on my dad taking one for the team and grabbing me.  Don't let me down old man. 

Nobody wants to be the person who got a DUI during Thanksgiving weekend (or even worse).  Then every single Thanksgiving for the rest of your life you'll have to remember the night you ruined Thanksgiving.  Then you'll probably stop liking Thanksgiving food because you associate it with such a bad event and that would really suck. Imagine hating stuffing and sweet potato pie because it reminds you of that kid you killed from two grades above you. That would suck.  Being in prison would suck too.  Have your group of friends or whoever you're going out with figure that shit out ahead of time.  

See I told you I'm a great advice guy.



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Look Your Best

Now this isn't exactly the most groundbreaking of advice of all time,  but sometimes you don't need to reinvent the wheel.  You're going to be seeing a lot of familiar faces.  Shit maybe even an ex or 4.  You're gonna want to look good.  You want their one face to face memory of you for the year to be a good one. 

Whether you wanna admit it or not, people gossip.   I've been on both sides of the coin.  I talk a lot and I'm sure I get talked about a lot.  As a guy who put on a lottttt of weight post-high school I know that very well because I've heard stuff people say.  It's human nature to gossip.  If you look like shit at a big event people will talk about it, trust me.  I'll remember the girl who had her hair in a side-ponytail at my junior prom for the rest of my life. Nobody wants to be the "OMG did you see how _____________ looks now?" person. 

Even if you're fat or ugly you can always dress nice to try to balance shit out.  You're still gonna be ugly but at least be ugly in a nice outfit.  Turn lemons into lemonade.  Wednesday night is going to be how people remember you until next time they see which could be months or even years away.  You know there's gonna be a million pictures on f book and the gram so do your best to look nice.

You never know what is going to go down that Wednesday night so make sure you have a nice outfit and your hair doesn't look like shit.  Get a haircut if you need one.  I'm writing this Monday night so by the time it's posted Wednesday your boy will have already gotten his brows threaded. 

Clean Your Room

I mean here is a prime example of me giving advice that I cannot follow.  Well.....I did just incase, but I'm a realist......Everybody knows that this Wednesday is a YUUUGE hook-up night.  For those who have moved away and are coming back home make sure your old room is looking good.   If you still live at home the same still applies. You never know who you're going to run into so always be ready.


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Know Your Limits

Just kidding. I'm not your mom. It's fucking Drinksgiving!

Who wants shots? 
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Talk to Everybody 

This is my biggest piece of advice. Be social! Be Fun!

This night is basically an excuse for people to get drunk and brag about the marginal levels of success they've experienced in life up to now.  Even if you're a huge loser like me there has got to be something you can be proud of.  Like I have this awesome blog that I run that you're reading right now. How crazy is that?

lf you have even the slightest thing to brag about, do it. Who cares? This is everybody's night to get trashed, reminisce and catch up. Everybody wants to do it so why act like that's not what people are thinking about?

You're gonna hear a lot of shit like this:

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"Yeah man,  So I like distribute dryer sheets from this factory to retailers,  it's fuckinnnnn crazzzzzy"  

or 


"Dude (the city they now live in) is sooooo sick, you have to come through some time (you're never coming through and you both know that)" 

or


"Nope, still single"
 

Just talk. Get off your phone and interact with other humans.  Don't worry about stupid click-y high-school bull shit. Everybody is grown up and that shit doesn't matter anymore. Like yeah, I have the only shutout by a goalie in Gansett Lax history (not even sure if that's true anymore) but who cares?  

Be nice and talk to people you haven't spoken to in years. I'm going to sure as hell try my best to. It's stupid AF to have beef with people over stupid shit that happened when you were like 17. You never know how much people could have changed, shit you may even like each other now. I'm friends with a bunch of people I hated in high school now. Plus you never know who can help you with random life shit don't the road. Always leave the door open for a potential new-old friend.  Who knows maybe that random kid you talked to twice in high school knows someone that would be great for you, maybe they can help you get a job or something? You never know. Also some people are genuinely interesting in seeing how people are doing. Crazy right ? I know I have a few old friends I'm excited to catch up with tonight. 

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So that's it! Tonight is the night. Let's have some fun, drink up, and get home safe. Follow my shitty advice in a blog that like 8 people read and I'm sure you'll have a great night!

But seriously, I hope everybody has a great Thanksgiving wherever you may be going. I'm extremely thankful for all the support I've gotten with DOL this year. To the people who have reached out to me since I started writing you have no idea how much that means to me.  If you're reading this, whoever you may be I hope you have a very Happy Thanksgiving!