The New England Patriots Need a QB. I Know Who They SHOULD Call.

Jimmy Garoppolo looked fantastic yesterday. The 3rd year QB was 18-27 for 3 TD and 234 yard. 21-0 Pats, then this happened. 

DOWN GOES JIMMY G

​When the hit first happened many were speculating a broken collarbone, or separated shoulder. It turns out Jimmy G has a sprained AC joint. Not even going to pretend like I know what that means or what the timetable for his return is. One thing I hate about the NFL is how it makes everybody think they're a doctor just because they can repeat the name of an injury they heard. Yeah I can say lisfranc too but it doesn't mean I know wtf it is. You and I both have no idea what 80% they are talking when it comes to injuries. But I'm getting off topic...

I had an alert on my phone said that the Pats still haven't ruled out Jimmy for Thursday. Look, I'm no doctor, (we just went over that) but I think that's being a little ambitious. They are playing Thursday night, however serious that injury was or wasn't, 3 day return is asking a lot out of a guy.

Maybe the Pats rush him back because they think even if the injury gets worse they won't be in trouble for too long since Brady comes back in 3 weeks? I'm not sure. Whatever, I'm not a doctor, I just don't think Jimmy G will be able to suit up. As of now rookie Jacoby Brissett is the New England Patriots starting QB.


Which means only one thing, they are going to have to add another QB.

You cannot go into an NFL game with only 1 true QB on your roster. As much as we'd all love to see Edelman take some snaps, it's never going to happen unless all active QBs get hurt during a game. With Brady, the Pats have 3 QBs on their roster. Somewhat of a rarity in today's NFL. In the ultra-competitive NFL, every roster spot is extremely valuable and teams hate to waste a spot on someone who ideally will never see the field. Now with Brady still suspended for two weeks, and a potentially seriously injured Garoppolo the Pats will need a 4th QB to act as back up for Brissett OR to start over him until Brady returns. 

So why am I saying all of this?


Okay, PLEASE hear me out. I'm begging. I know I'm going to sound like a nutcase, and that my act is getting stale, but I'm 100% serious. With Tom Brady returning week 5, the Patriots obviously do not need a long-term solution at QB. We have the greatest of all time coming back. Plus this injury with Jimmy isn't career ending and he'll be back when the time is right. So we have two future Hall of Famers, we're gucci. 

​We just need a back-up for 2 weeks. You know who the Patriots should call right?



Right?


​

That's right, the savior. Tim Tebow.


Now I know Timmy is busy galavanting in Florida with the New York Mets trying to sell jerseys and push his new book. And if we're in the trust tree together here (I always assume we are) I hate the whole baseball act by Tebow too. I've loved this man since I was like 14 years old but even I know the baseball dream is ridiculous and a publicity stunt. It just kills me that Tebow has been out of the league. Obviously he has his flaws but there are so many bums in the NFL that Tebow is better than it drives me insane. Tebow has also said he's done with football BUT if you don't think Timmy would come running if Bill Belichick gave him a call you're insane.

Listen, I get it, it's 2016 and Tim Tebow hasn't been a starting QB in the NFL since the 2011 season, and yeahhhhh maybe he can't throw. 

But guess what, the Patriots don't need him to win a Super Bowl, hell they don't even need him to win a playoff game (which I don't know if you know or not, but Tim Tebow HAS won a playoff game). They just need him to be a back up for two weeks. Or start.. which I'd obviously prefer, but I'll take him just being on an NFL roster again.

Now let me tell you why it makes a little more sense than you might think. I'm gonna ask you a few questions here. Time to put on my capital J Journalist hat. 

Almost ready.

Perfect!


​Here we go!

Question 1:

​Who is the Patriots offensive coordinator?

Answer:

​Josh McDaniels. ​

Hopefully we're 1-1. 




​

Here is a 2nd question:

​Who was the coach of the Denver Broncos in 2010, drafted Tim Tebow in the first round (#25 overall) but was fired and never given a chance to coach HIS guy for a full season as a starting QB? Which crippled Tebow from the start.

Answer:

Oh the same guy? Josh McDaniels. Cool.

Hopefully we're 2-2, but if we're 1-2 that's okay, you're right on par with a Tebow performance.



Okay final question

Question 3:

What team brought in Tim Tebow for training camp in 2013?

​Answer:

That's right. The New England Patriots, the same team that employs former Broncos head coach Josh McDaniels.

Wow! The stars really are aligning. Hopefully you got a 100 on our little quiz. 

Here is a little extra credit question, ready???

Who is the best coach in NFL history? With more rings than he knows what to do with. Who also has the biggest ego ever,  is always looking for ways to look like the smartest man in the room by signing players nobody has heard of, cast offs, and washed up bums. Who also gets rid of great players when people still think they have something left in the tank (Vrabel, Seymour, Mankins, Revis, the list goes on) but he ended up being right about that player being finished?

​Answer:

That's right: Bill fucking Belichick. He's already signed Tebow once. You really don't think this mad genius would do it again, purely to prove how great HE is as a coach and GM? You're crazy if you don't. 

The best part is the Patriots really have nothing to lost. Brissett looked like shit yesterday. Sure the Pats were being ultra conservative after going up 31-3. But guess what that nearly cost them. Patriots nearly went to overtime against the Dolphins after being up FOUR TOUCHDOWNS. 

Do we really wanna roll out Jacoby Brissett week 3 against the Houston Texans? 

The beautiful thing about Tim Tebow is that he cannot throw very well, so there aren't a ton of plays you can run with him. The Patriots dink and dunk, short passing offense would not work with Timmy so they'd need a new gameplan. Luckily I'm here to help. With the short week the Patriots wouldn't have to create that many plays.

You have this base offense: 2 TE 2 WR 1 RB 1 Tebow. That's all you need. 

Play 1 :QB run up the middle out of the gun
Play 2: Incomplete pass
Play 3:QB run to the left out of the gun
Play 4: Handoff to RB
Play 5: QB run right out of the gun.
Play 6: Incomplete pass
Play 7: -3 yard screen pass to the TE. 
Play 8: 50 yard bomb
Play 9: Cannot throw to open receiver, scramble for first down.
Play 10: QB Draw- TOUCHDOWN

You're telling me that isn't enough to beat Brock Osweiler?



If he sucks, which many are expecting. You cut him, and are 2-2 with Tom Brady coming back. So worst case scenario Patriots are 13-3. 

BUT


If Tebow wins you a game, you (Bill Belchick) will have another feather in your cap as a genius innovator head coach, and then you can flip him to a desperate team. After all you don't need 4 QBs. Sam Bradford just got the Eagles a 1st and 4th round pick. If you can get Tebow to go even 1-1 with decent stats you could flip him for a 6th round pick, then during the draft you pull a Belichick and trade that 6th round pick for a 5th the next year, then that next year you flip that 5th for a 4th the next year, and so on and so forth, until eventually in like 2022 when you turn that into a first round pick. Two games of Tim Tebow for a first round pick in 5-9 years. Who doesn't make that move?




Now I know my dream of Tim Tebow playing another NFL snap is about as slim of my dream of writing for Barstool, or ever being with a woman again, but damnit, until I'm 6 feet under I'm gonna keep advocating for all three dreams to come true. 

So let's give Tebow a 2 week try out Bill, and Pres if you're reading this I can start ASAP.