I'm starting this blog at 11:28 am on Super Bowl Sunday after spending most of my week designing and tinkering this year's collage, and I still can't decide who I'm gonna pick. Mid-intro P.S. Can I get a job making these professionally? It's high-key and one of my favorite things (it's quite soothing).
As a narrative, history, and conspiracy guy, it's hard not to pick the Chiefs. Patrick Mahomes is probably the best quarterback of the 21st century, not named Tom Brady, and he's far from finished. If the Chiefs win tonight, Patriot fans should start getting worried about Mahomes passing Brady's six rings (As a Patriots fan, I don't claim the Tampa one, even though I did bet on the Bucs in SB LV and hit on Gronk scoring the first TD). The league would definitely prefer to see the Chiefs win. Whether or not anything shady happens to allow that remains to be seen. Mahomes is unreal, and much like Brady's legendary tenure in New England, he's reinvented his game throughout this run. These are not your high-flyin' Tyreek Hill go ball, Chiefs. They grind it out and have some serious 2018 Patriot vibes with a great defense (2nd in the NFL) and running game, although this does not feel like the end for them (maybe some of the older blood like Chris Jones and Kelce...if the Chiefs win this SB, I wouldn't be shocked if he retires to be a full-fledged media darling/Taylor Swift's husband). I've heard something like 75% of the money is on the Chiefs, which worries me. Vegas will take a "big hit" if Kelce scores the first TD, which makes me want to sprinkle, but despite how KC-centered the blog's been so far, I really want to see the Niners win. They've been my go-to online Madden team for the last two years and are jam-packed with studs I'd love to see win a ring. As the cliche police will tell you, football is a team game and IMO, the 49ers are a better and more well-rounded team than the Chiefs, but when you have already a top 5 QB of all-time, it's hard pick against them. They also have the better kicker; Butker's top three in the NFL, and Jake Moody is probably bottom ten. If I were a Niner fan, I'd be missing Robbie Gould big time today. I don't trust Moody in a clutch spot late. He's already missed two sub-50 yarders this postseason. Before I go any further, George Kittle is better than Travis Kelce. Kelce's a great pass catcher and helped me win my 2022 fantasy championship, so I don't hate him like I used to well before he was in 30 commercials a game, but Kittle dominates the blocking game and is the closest thing to Gronk the NFL has in terms of complete tight ends.
I'm not exactly discovering a new planet with this take, but if I'm the 49ers, I'm making someone other than Travis Kelce beat me through the air. Make Rachee Rice catch 8+ balls or fucking Noah Gray make a play. You know MVS will drop some. With Fred Warner and Dre Greenlaw, San Fran has one of, if not the best linebacker duo in the NFL that can MAYBE handle Kelce. It's a legacy night for Fred Warner. Stopping Kelce and making Mahomes rely on KC's other options is IMO SF's best chance defensively. I wanna sprinkle Fred Warner for SB MVP but I can't find it on the RISB.
It's not impossible to slow these Chiefs down, the Ravens shut them out in the second half and frankly should probably be in this game. I don't know wtf Baltimore was doing offensively, but they got scared and went away from their power running game. You can run against this Chiefs defense. Buffalo ran over 180 yards in the Divisional Round. Kyle Shanahan loves to pound the rock and feed CMC. I wouldn't be shocked to see him touch the ball 30 times. Kyle Juszczyk is gonna touch the ball too. I already spinkled him to have at least one reception this SGP.
FTR, I'm pro-Taylor Swift. Cruel Summer is a BANGER. The far-right hates her because she empowers women. If you get legitimately upset that the broadcast shows the biggest pop star on earth a couple of times, you need to calm down. Worry about something that actually matters, like her carbon footprint.
I still don't know who I'm gonna pick. I'm so fucking torn. I want the Niners to win, but I think the Chiefs will, and at the end of the day, I'm just tryna make a little scratch. I might place parlays with each team that make it possible for me to bet both ways and still have a profitable Super Bowl Dozie. Like I wanna pick the Niners, sooo bad, but the Chiefs have the better QB, kicker, and coach. Defenses are basically even; the league wants them to win; Brock Purdy is a game manager, and the Niners have struggled to get this far (they owe Dan Campbell some Metallica tickets or something), but am I seriously gonna bet against Mahomes? I've done it before and won, but it's not the most intelligent move. Sure, I was right in Super Bowl LV and the 2018 and 2022 AFC Championship Games. I've been decent at knowing when to take KC. I was on them last year and doubled down when they were down 10 at half. I'm high-key talking out of both sides of my mouth here because, again, I'm likely gonna find a way where I can sprinkle both ways and will likely do something live, too, based on game flow, but fuck it...who's actually reading this? Just get high and look at the collage. You'll have fun. I hope Usher crushes it, and we all make some money. Fuck it. I'm going with my heart instead of my head. Don't forget how much Mahomes and the Chiefs' offense struggled against Baltimore! Behind CMC and their D, the Niners win their first Super Bowl in almost 30 years. 49ers: 31 Chiefs: 27 58 points for Super Bowl Dozo. I'll comment my plays throughout the day, but the Doz Man HAD to take this. My hands were tied.
1 Comment
Dozie
2/12/2024 08:01:38 am
FTR, I live bet the Chiefs twice 🤷🏻♂️ Leave a Reply. |
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