Today is National Donut Day and Guess What? Verne Troyer is 27 Donuts Tall! (Allegedly)
I just saw this picture on twitter and absolutely lost it. This is hilarious to me, sorry. Idk what we're supposed to call little people nowadays, but all the credit in the world to Verne Troyer (Mini-Me) for getting in on the #NationalDonutDay bandwagon and getting a little twitter buzz. I gotta know if this was planned days in advance or he just saw today was another stupid "national _______ day" and was like I gotta strike right now!
I mean he could use the 20 minutes of people remembering him. Other than two Austin Powers movies, an appearance on VH1's the surreal life where he was drunk in a scooter the whole time and a little sex tape situation I really haven't heard much of Verne in the news. Better to have donuts be the most recent thing we remember you for then a midget sex tape.
Good for Verne for still being alive. Seriously. I always feel like extremely short or tall people always die relatively young. Like Manute Bol was 47. Robert Wadlow, the dude who held the record for tallest man died at 22. They just don't have normal internal organs and it fucks them up and causes them to die young. A little Dr. Dozo analysis for ya.
Luckily, all 2 foot 8 inches of Verne is still alive and "well" at 48 years old. By comparison, Pedro Martinez' pet/lucky midget Nelson died at 38. RIP.
That's no hyperbole. He literally was their lucky charm.
Also, I don't know what kind of man this makes me, because I do feel bad for what I'm about to say, but I think Verne is stretching the truth here trying to say he's 27 donuts tall.
I don't want to take away from Verne here but I'm gonna call his "27 donut" height into question. I hate to call out a midget about his height but these donuts appear to have been doctored. The further down you go, the more squished they look. I hate to take away from a man who I could fit into my backpack, but I mean just look at how fluffy and full the top ones are, compared to the bottom. I'm guessing he's really more about 20 donuts tall. Sorry Verne you aren't getting that one passed Ole Dozo.
2/7/2020 02:37:08 am
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