'Tom Brady has learned that he doesn’t love strawberries or coffee by never having tried either at all, a commitment no mortal man could ever conceive of pulling off. “I’ve never eaten a strawberry in my life. I have no desire to do that.” Never? “Absolutely not.”
First things first. Brady isn't going anywhere let's all slow our rolls after Sunday.
Secondly, Tom Brady is one of the pickiest eaters ever and has the weirdest diet of all time. Most Patriot fans should know that. There are many foods that us normal folks consider healthy that TB12 would've even look at. You think eggplant is healthy? Brady laughs in your face and knows they cause inflammation, along with tomatoes and mushroom. He knows health, the man has played in the NFL for like 29 years and has only had 1 major injury. I'm gonna take his word when it comes to eating health. But why I really love him (other than because he's the best QB ever, has given me endless joy, is extremely cool, handsome, and overall is perfect) is because he's the pickiest eater of all time and has a diet that many would call "strange" Do you know who else is wicked picky and has a weird diet? I'll give you a hint.
That's right, ME.
I'm picky too Tom and for similar reasons. I hate eggplants, tomatoes and mushrooms because they cause all of that inflammation and are clearly not healthy enough for me.... No, it has nothing to with because they're vegetables.
Tom doesn't drink coffee? Guess what TB12, neither does RM58. Coffee is disgusting, mud water that mentality weak people drink to stay awake instead of just staying awake. Us alphas don't need that garbage in the temples that are our bodies.
Now it appears Brady is all set with strawberries. Well guess who else has been all set with strawberries from the jump? You guessed it, me! Not about how messy they can be, all the seeds, and the fact that they are a fruit. Now I'm not gonna totally abandon this fruit. Just in fruit form. I am a BIG strawberries Dels guy. It's the best flavor hands down and if you say lemon you're a psycho. If you say grapefruit then you should be publicly executed.
But what I love most about Brady's pickiness is like me, he doesn't need to try a food to totally write it off. Smart men like us can just tell by looking at something that it is gross and we do not need that. Have I ever eaten Indian food? No, I haven't but I can tell that that shit is gross. I LOVE Mexican food (Chipotle) but hate most salsas and especially guacamole. Does it matter that I've never tried it? No it doesn't. I haven't had sex with a dude either, but I know that's not for me. While Tom is a big avocado ice cream guy, the message of totally writing things off without trying still applies. Tom has never had a strawberry but knows he doesn't fuck with them. I've had like 9 strawberries in my life and I too know they are not my cup of tea.
I absolutely love that Brady is not a coffee guy as well. I tried coffee when I was like 10 and thought it was the most disgusting thing of all time. Legit threw up. Like I actually vomited from having a coffee coolata. Have my tastes changed in the 14 years that have since passed? Yes, they have, but it doesn't change that I'm not going to drink nasty ass coffee. I rather just fight through being tired like a man.
So yeah, the similarities are pretty much endless when it comes to me and Tom. Very similar diets. Does it matter that pizza makes up 75% of what I eat and he probably hasn't had pizza since the 90's? No it doesn't. Tom isn't about that processed flour life. While we don't see eye to eye on that, I'd say we're on the same page for almost everything else.