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Tom Brady Is the First Victim of a New Netflix Roast Series

5/17/2022

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​When I woke up for good today around 1 pm, I saw some exciting news. Netflix is starting a roast series, and Florida man Thomas Edward Patrick Brady, Jr. is the first *Andy Samberg intentionally bombing voice* victim.

WE'RE ABOUT TO ROAST @TomBrady.

The GROAT (Greatest Roast Of All Time) is coming to Netflix!

— Netflix Is A Joke (@NetflixIsAJoke) May 17, 2022

Gisele Bündchen’s husband, Tom Brady, will be in the hot seat for Greatest Roasts of All Time, the first in a series of new specials. pic.twitter.com/hpQbWGzDMp

— Netflix (@netflix) May 17, 2022
Apart from the upcoming shitty deflategate jokes, without almost no detail about the series, this should be awesome. I love Roasts and do not want to see them fall victim to comedy-hating pussies. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times; nothing should be off-limits in comedy. My friends will tell you I'm a woke little bitch now (which is fair; hashtag good guy), but I believe that no topic is too taboo. You can be progressive and still laugh at JOKES, but I'll get off my soapbox. Roasts are infamous for their raunchy, fill-in-the-ist, off-color humor. Hopefully, Netflix doesn't bitch out and go soft here. Tommy better bring it when it's his turn.

I cannot wait to see who's on the dayus. Brady's not only the first roastee, but he's also serving as executive producer for this "multi-roast" series. I'd love to see Belichick up there, but there's a better chance of Marcus Smart winning Super Bowl MVP. You'd have to assume Peyton will be a part of this, and I hope he is. Teabag Manning is fucking hilarious (although that action is NOT), even though 2006 Dozie would slit my throat for admitting that.
Also, the term GOAT does need to die an excruciating death. I'm so over that term, even though I'm sure I've used it recently (ironically, of course). I remember when GOAT meant a scapegoat like Bill Buckner (R.I.P.) or Steve Bartman (it wasn't his fault!), but it's had a complete revival for the worst. Now it's the greatest of all time except it's used for everything. If it's gonna mean "greatest of all time" there can't be multiple GOATS. It's played tf out. Brady's said he hates the term, but now I'm not so sure after being a part of a series with this corny ass name.

Anyways, I'm excited to see what's in store with this project. Hopefully, Comedy Central gets off its ass and starts roasting again too. There hasn't been once since before Covid, which I get, but it's 2022, come on, roast some mother fuckers already.

There's no timetable for the premiere yet, as it won't be filmed until next summer, but keep this story in your tickler file...not you Peyton.

Since it's May 17th...even though you left us for scumbag Florida, I'll always love you. Tommy boy. You got railroaded in 2015-16, but it all worked out for the best. I can't wait to watch this in like 15 months.
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P.S.

I know "dayus" isn't spelled right, but I tried! It's not my fault my content gets zero interactions! lolol

Feeling like a fucking idiot trying to figure out how to spell "dayus" for a roast blog. I've tried and searched everything and can't find the proper spelling. Watching old roast clips on Youtube with CC on hoping it'll pop up. If you know please help!

— Doz #HireDozo (@DozonLife) May 17, 2022
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