after I finished making this at like 3 am, I realized the Spice Girls are technically together, but the graphic needed sex appeal and I LOVE Ginger Spice (hence why she's the only person featured twice)...they haven't toured since covid too, but not everybody on this graphic made the list...I threw some extras in to not spoil the top 10.
It's mid-May, which means summer concert season is upon us. So far in 2022, I've been to two shows, Tame Impala at Mohegan Sun AND the Garden and have tickets for a rescheduled April Cobra Man show this July and Florence + the Machine in September. EDITOR'S NOTE: Since I started writing this blog a couple of days ago, I guess I'm going to see "Great Blue" tonight.
After losing a year of our lives to the pandemic, I went to as many concerts as possible last summer (Newport Jazz Fest, Hall and Oates, DMB, Kings of Leon, Dead & Co., and Orville Peck) to make up for lost time before I'm eventually dead for eternity. This summer, I hope to get to even more, but as someone who doesn't listen to a ton of new stuff, it bums me that so many artists I love are no longer together, thus impossible to see live.
I had tickets for Boston Calling 2020, which was canceled due to Covid, but Foo Fighters were one of the headliners. They aren't one of my favorite bands, but I like a lot of their music and knew they'd put on an incredible performance. Unfortunately, with the sudden passing of Taylor Hawkins this March, they're on hiatus indefinitely, and even if they do return, it'll never be the same without him. It sucks to say, but Taylor wasn't the first and won't be the last rock star to die an untimely death. You never know when your time is gonna come, and combined with My Chemical Romance releasing new, albeit bad IMO music for the first time in eight years, it got me thinking about bands that need to bury the hatchet and get back together. Some band I never heard of just did after a decade apart, so anything's possible!
Now a small part of me actually respects artists (that I won't spoil) who have stuck to their guns and turned down tens, if not hundreds of millions of dollars to reunite and tour, but at the same time, it pisses me off. I don't really give a fuck if you like each other, I'm not asking for new music, but there are plenty of artists I enjoy who broke up before I was born or old enough to buy concert tickets for myself that I would absolutely love to see. It's selfish AF to withhold that music from fans. The Beatles never reunited, despite countless attempts (including $3200 from Lorne Michales); then, only 10 years after they split, a reunion became impossible with the murder of John Lennon.
Whenever I'm ub**ing, and someone compliments my music and says I have great taste (which I do), they're basically just saying, "I like what you like." That's cool; they're just trying to connect before we're both dead for eternity, but for the sake of this list, I'm only listing artists I truly fw (FUCK WITH, for those unsure what that means after being used in hundreds of my blogs), so no Guns N'Roses. They're okay but aren't a band I'm dying to hear or even choose to listen to. Also, I don't know all these groups' stories, as you'll see in the write-ups. I enjoy some bands that I couldn't tell you much detail about outside of their music and others where I can spew off useless trivia, like how the Black Keys sponsored an Akron Little League team nine years ago. As this blog's author, I reserve the right to be like, "how tf did I forget this band??" in a few days and edit it. Lastly, some of these artists might technically be together, but they're eligible if they're missing significant members. Okay, enough fluff. We're literally (or, I guess, figuratively?) bringing the band back together—time to rock.
Honorable Mention: The Beach Boys
I love the Beach Boys more than multiple artists who made the list. I had a big Beach Boys bender in 2016 (I even bought a shirt online), and this goes against the spirit of the entire blog, but I get why Brian Wilson and Al Jardine don't perform with Mike Love. He's a douche bag. Straight up. It's still a bummer they all can't get along, but it's greedy Mike Love's fault. Brian Wilson is the heart and soul of the Beach Boys, and Al Jardine is still alive. Fuck Mike Love.
#T-10. *NSYNC and Destiny's Child
We've got a little two-for-one special to kick things off with two of the most successful artists from the 90s/early 2000s boy-band/girl-group phenomenon. Both groups have a member that's gone on to become a massive solo artists, although Beyonce's success blows Justin Timberlake's out of the water.
The bulk of their fanbases were children/teens at the height of their success, and now let's call it 20 years later, they've grown up and have some money of their own after paying their bills, bills, bills. Destiny's Child at least had a brief reunion at the Super Bowl XLVII halftime show, but like a 10-minute set nine years ago, ain't cutting it. I feel like Beyonce's megastar days a behind her because she doesn't really make music anymore. Of course, as soon she drops something, the beehive will be all over it like they're about to kill Macaulay Culkin, but between her and Jay Z they've made enough generational wealth. Hook your girls up with that reunion cash. The same goes for JT and the boys. Sure, Joey Fatone's treading water hosting game shows and pretending to be Greek, but I wouldn't be surprised if Chris Kirkpatrick eats cat food. Don't forget about how badly Lou Pearlman fucked them! FTR, JC was my favorite as a kid. Now I have to mention Lance Bass, so I don't leave one guy out. I don't need people falsely thinking I'm homophobic!
#9. The Smiths
I'm not a 58-year-old British dad, so I really don't know too much of the inner workings of The Smiths, but from what I've read, a lot of their disputes were about money and Morrissey being an annoying twat, going about things the wrong way. Still, they're one of the most influential bands of their era, despite only being together from 1982-87. The fact all original members are alive but can't get along is a major thorn in our sides.
I get not liking Morrissey; he certainly isn't a charming man. He once said he'd rather eat his own testicles than reform The Smiths, and he's famously a vegetarian bitch. I'm not banking on being able ever to hear "How Soon is Now?" live, but damnit those four made great music.
#8. Fleetwood Mac (with Lindsey Buckingham)
Between hipster chicks and the vinyl revival, I feel like Fleetwood Mac's stock is close to where it was in the late 70s. I have a Rumours shirt. They're a band whose music I love, but I'm not too up to date on their journey outside of the cheating and doing enough cocaine to wipe out an entire 1980s NBA Draft class.
I know Lindsey Buckingham is still alive, and when you think Fleetwood Mac, it's Stevie Nicks, Lindsey, THEN, Fleetwood (at least for me). Sure most of my exposure to him was actually Bill Hader on What Up with That? He could be a total dick, but from 2 minutes of Wikipedia glancing, it looks like they made him go his own way for wanting to play more new music. Throw him a bone (or key bump), play a couple songs nobody's heard of before you play "Dreams," and get the band back together before even more of you die.
#7. Pink Floyd
Another band I like but don't claim to be a super fan of or know too much of the inner workings; as someone who enjoys altering my state of mind, how could I not fuck with Pink Floyd? They're legends. Dark Side of the Moon was on the Billboard charts for literally 15 years. I know there's tension between David Gilmour and Roger Waters or whatever, but they're both on the back 9 of life; a reunion of all living members would be an awesome once-in-a-lifetime show that millions of people would appreciate more than I would, but I'd still love to check it out. Hopefully, the dream isn't gone forever.
#6. Barenaked Ladies (with Steven Page)
Now, this is a band that I love and grew up with. Stunt is one of the first CDs I remember getting as a kid. I was a textbook six-year-old boy laughing at the fact that naked was in their name. One of my aunts heavily influenced my musical taste at a young age and got me into their stuff from before their big break in 1998 with "One Week." (which was a #1 hit in the U.S. for exactly one week).
What made Barenaked Ladies great was their silly lyrics and two-singer dynamic, but in 2009, Steven Page left to focus on a solo career. Now, I'm a follow your dreams guy. I've been running this website for over six years and have written three blogs that made money, but I don't think his solo career has worked out too well. I get it; Canada has its own scene and pop culture, I could be wrong, but it's time to bury whatever hatchet or hockey stick seems to be getting in the way and get BNL together. Think of all the fancy Dijon ketchups you could buy with that reunion tour cash?
#5. The Police
I love The Police (the band). I've been into New Wave since before I could get a boner, and Sting can famously keep one for weeks on end. "Roxanne" is my favorite song to sing in Karaoke. I CRUSH that falsetto. It's pretty wild that a horse accident ruined any momentum they had for another album in the 80s after their first break.
To stick with our theme, these guys aren't getting any younger. They did have a reunion tour in 2007-08, but that's almost 15 years ago. According to Wiki, that tour grossed over $358 million. Today they'd probably rake in half a billy. You don't even have to stand close to each other; just give the fans (especially "younger ones" like Ole Dozo) one more chance to see you live before you send your final S.O.S. to the world.
#4. Oasis
Oasis has to be one of the most well-known break-ups of the 21st century. A guitar damaged from their 2009 split just sold for over $400K. Liam and Noel Gallagher weren't exactly best friends even when they were together, but you're fucking brothers, guys. DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER!!!
From a non-music standpoint, it's a huge bummer they hate each other and can't reconcile. If they ever did, that tour would sell out in minutes. If you haven't seen "This is Pop" on Netflix, you gotta check out the episode on 90s brit-pop and their rivalry with Blur; it's super informative and hard to grasp in today's music landscape. Sure, "Wonderwall" is one of the most overrated and overplayed songs ever made, but these guys can fucking rock, as shown in the performance I included here. Take a walk with your fame down memory lane one time for your millions of fans across the globe. Feel no shame cause time's no chain; call up your brother. Maybe beat the shit out of each other again? Grab a pint, and hit the road (not as drunk drivers, but you know what I mean).
#3. Talking Heads
I've really gotten into The Talking Heads the last few years because I'm quasi-artistic. There was a span a few weeks/months back where I listened to "Life During Wartime" five times a day. They broke up in 1991 (the year I was born) and have only performed together once since, at their Rock N' Roll HOF induction in 2002 (yay, palindrome years).
David Byrne turned 70 last Saturday and is still performing; he was on the last SNL before covid in 2020. Byrne's said they'd never get back together, and there's not exactly a lot of love between him and the rest of the band, but all four members are still alive and 70-73 years old. They won't be around for the next palindrome year in 2112 and are probably running out of time as their bodies will start to betray them if they haven't already. Again, you guys don't have to like each other (it's sad you don't...at least we know Chris Frantz and Tina Weymouth do), but the clock is ticking. Give the fans what they want and make a shit load of money in the process. You could start the tour in Houston, Detroit, or even Pittsburgh, PA.
#2. R.E.M.
Unlike most bands on this list, R.E.M. has no bad blood. The band members don't hate each other; they just think the band ran its course. Be that as it may, you're fucking R.E.M.; you basically invented alternative and influenced millions.
Michael Stipe has been stern in his "we'll never get back together" takes, but again, think of the fans. You might think it's tacky or a "money grab" to get back together but think of all the joy you'll bring people with your music. Isn't that what being an artist is all about? I fucking LOVE R.E.M., and they're #2 on my list for that reason. It bums me out when bands like them with all living members just choose not to be a band anymore. Like Barenaked Ladies, they're a group my aunt got me into at a young age, and it's just a bummer I'll probably never get to see them live. No forced in song or lyric play here; I'm just here in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion, trying to keep up with why these guys wouldn't want to use their talent to bring joy to people? Would you believe they'd rather get old and die? That's great.
LEONARD BERNSTEIN!
#1. Blink 182 (with Tom Delonge)
With all due respect, Matt Skiba can fall off the face of the earth for all I'm concerned. Of course, I don't actually want him to die, but I do want him to get the fuck out of Blink 182, so Tom can come back.
Blink-182 is one of my favorite bands and greatly influenced my development in the late 90s and early 2000s. It breaks my heart that I haven't seen them live. Fuck it; we're already here. You've read like 10,000 words. I'll play the card. Mark Hoppus just had fucking cancer. You know, that disease that kills tens of millions of people a year (guesstimate)? That should've been all it took for everybody to figure this shit out and get back together. I know they're all cool, but like BNL, Blink 182 has two singers, and you need both of them to truly be Blink. Ironically, Travis Barker isn't in the video I linked, and I'm kinda over his whole Kardashian thing and being a huge weirdo, but at the same time, I'm a huge weirdo. These guys aren't on death's doorstep age-wise (what's their age again?), but I'll say it once more, Mark had a cancer scare, and any of us could get hit by a bus this afternoon. Of all the bands I've listed, I feel like this is the most likely reunion and will happen eventually. They're already done it before, made references towards it, and liked IG photos. But you never know what's gonna happen in life. Maybe the Beatles were like, we're gonna surprise everybody and have a reunion show in 1981, but John Lennon got shot on December 8th, 1980. Again, with all due respect to Matt Skiba, but nobody's gonna miss him. He's the step-dad that nobody wants. He's a player, diarrhea giver. Tried to grow his hair out, friends were listening to Slayer. I'd like to find him Friday night, hanging out with mom, trying on his father's tights. Blink 182 fans want our real daddy back before it's too late and he's on some spaceship in another galaxy.
So that's my list. Thanks for reading. What do you think? Which bands do you want to get back together so you can see them live before we're eventually all dead for eternity? Be sure to sound off in the comments!
1 Comment
Yaa
5/18/2022 09:52:46 pm
10/10 dysentery Gary lyrics Leave a Reply. |
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