I love couples, I'd love to part of one someday.
Today is February 14th, better known by many as Valentine's Day. For the I've lost track year in a row I am not celebrating today. That's quite alright because I have a great career and home to worry about. It's all about a balance, folks. I'm not some bitter because they're single person, au contraire. I'm 26 years old living in an apartment with my mother, working part time, getting fatter by the day. Things are swell. I'm quite happy with where I am in life, why just two weeks ago I met with a young lady from the dating application tinder and it went quite well, and by quite well I mean we had 3 minutes of beautiful, passionate, wine-induced sex (still accepting congratulations) and haven't spoken since. So I've filled my love quota for the next 2-4 years. This isn't about me. Considering that today is a (fake) holiday day dedicated to love I felt I should post according. I love love. It's a beautiful thing. While I think some (fake) holiday created by the chocolate and flower companies to get a boost in sales in the winter months isn't necessary to show how much you love that special someone in your life I am certainly not a hater of today. When I am involved again sometime in the next 1-29 years you can bet your bottle dollar I will go all out in romance to show people on social media how much I love my (future) girlfriend because I know that's what today is truly about. Oh how special and wonderful this day can be. In all seriousness, whether you like Valentine's Day or not, today is about love. So in honor of that I am going to show some love to the 10 greatest couples in the history of world. You're going to easily be able to guess who is next as this is a list we all know by heart, but since it's V-day I figured "what the heck?" let's countdown the love.
10. Darryl Hall and John Oates
With a laundry list of classic hits like "Man Eater", "She's Gone", "Private Eyes", "Making My Dreams Come True", "One on One" and countless others these Philly based musicians are considered by many to be the greatest duo in the history of music. In a career that has spanned five decades (including the 70's and 80's) I find it hard to believe that over all those nights together on the road these two didn't fool around at least once. I'm sure you can only snort lines and sleep with groupies so many times before saying, you know what I'm sick of all these ladies, I think it's time we shacked up and made love as passionate as our melodies. Which of course they did, many times as a matter of fact. They're two consenting adults, it's quite alright and more than likely inspired some of their biggest hits so you're welcome.
9. John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Bouvier
In only 10 years of marriage before John's untimely assassination the Kennedy's were the face of love in America. They were the first wave in a new era of politics. They were young, and hip. Jackie updated the White House's boring interior which is undoubtedly her greatest achievement. They had it all: wealth, power, looks, status, charm, charisma, and style. All they were missing was longevity.
They were the perfect American family. Sure JFK was sleeping with many women who weren't Jackie, most notably Marilyn Monroe, but none of that matters. Publicly they were the face of what a couple should in America. Despite JFK's indiscretions she loved him so much that after he was fatally shot in Dallas, TX Jackie tried to put his head back together as if it were a puzzle with her blood-soaked, gloved hands. As Travie McCoy of Gym Class Heroes previously stated If that ain't love then I don't know what love is.
8. Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen
I mean just look at these two, they're as cute as a kitten tea-party. They're the poster children for aging gracefully finding true love later in life. Plus they play fictionalized versions of themselves on Curb Your Enthusiasm, added points for being cool.
7. Pedro Martinez and Nelson de la Rosa
Even though Pedro Martinez had a down year by his standards in 2004 he still managed to win 16 games for the eventual World Series champions. His post-season numbers in 2004 weren't jaw-dropping, but was jaw-dropping was the fact that Pedro Martinez had a good-luck charm throughout the playoffs. It wasn't a lucky rabbit's foot or four-leaved clover, nope, it was a Dominican Midget named Nelson De La Rosa. You could argue that Nelson was as important in the breaking the Curse of The Bambino as David Ortiz and Curt Schilling. Without these two the Boston Red Sox may still be looking for their first World Series title since 1918.
6. Statler and Waldorf
We're talking greatest couples in HISTORY, folks and these two gentlemen were the grandfather's of trolling. Their lasting impact can be felt in countless comment sections throughout the entire world. They laid the foundation for future generations of hating. Sitting up in the balcony together since 1975 that's a lot of years to hate. Yet over all those years, they were able to love one thing..each other. They had fantastic style in their three-piece suits and were obviously cultured with all the time they spent in the theatre. Just look at how they're staring into each others inflamed eyes. You can just tell there's something special between these two. Forget Bert and Ernie, Staler and Waldorf are the face of man on man love in the Muppets.
5. Westley and Buttercup
Three simple words: "As you wish". While part of me wants to not include them because of Buttercup's inability to realize the man she was so deeply in love was there this whole time, hiding his identity with a simple bootleg Zarro mask, I cannot exclude these two. I'm a sucker. Plus Westley trained himself to drink poison, a skill that all men should have. While I'm still shocked neither had a single grass stain after that mighty tumble down a hill before their passionate embrace, I cannot help but be a sucker for true love.
4. Charlie Kelly and Frank Reynolds
Between all the fun they have boiling denims, playing night crawlers, eating cat food, using toe knifes, sharing a pull-out couch and possibly being father and son Charlie and Frank are a modern day fairy tale. Together they make up the gruesome-twosome and are quite possibly the funniest characters on television today. They've spent the better part of a decade together and show no signs of slowing down anytime soon. Even if they already tried marriage and it didn't work out. Sure Charlie goes into the crevice at times, but that only makes them more real. As we all know, even the greatest couples have their spats. What makes Charlie and Frank great is their ability to work through them and stay together.
3. Tom Brady and Gisele
You mix the best quarterback of all time and one of the most accomplished models ever together and you get quite possibility the greatest couple in the history of man. They're both gorgeous, it's a coin flip at best to decide who has the leg up in looks. Together Tom and Gisele have two beautiful children, an absolute empire and enough love to cause world peace. When Tom retires in 7 years I'm sure they can focus on that.
2. Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez
I gotta give all the credit in the world to A-Rod for doing a complete 180 from a baseball player to public figure. Nobody has gone from hated to beloved quicker, it's astounding. I never want to be accused of being biased towards Boston sports again. We're talking greatest couples in history here folks and even I can realize that in their short time together A-Rod and J-Lo have eclipsed Tom and Gisele for the greatest power couple in pop culture. For one they have a classic first date story where A-Rod texted her "You look sexy af" from the bathoom, as their date had started a little awkward, and the rest as they say is history. (might have to steal that move) All things considered they're probably more talented than Tom and Gisele considering Alex is probably an all around better athlete and J-Lo can sing, dance and act. Gisele is just beautiful and had a minor role in the 2004 action-comedy "Taxi" starring Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah. You just look at A-Rod and J-Lo and can't help but be stunned, such a beautiful caramel couple. If they ever break up I'll probably kill myself.
1. Jim Halpert and Pam Beasley
A fairly obvious choice, but that's okay when it's the right one.
In nearly five years as a Tinder user I must've seen 34,862 profiles with some variation of "just looking for my Jim" and let me tell you, these ladies aren't talking about Jim Belushi. They mean Jim Halpert, the handsome, quirky, paper salesmen from Dunder Miflin turned President of New Acquisitions at Athleap in Austin, TX. Jim and Pam started as a classic will "they or won't they?" story where the parts just couldn't match up for a while. Finally they kissed at the Casino night, but Pam said she couldn't be with him, Jim left for Stamford, only to return as the Stamford and Scranton branches merged due to Josh taking an senior executive role with Staples. Over the next few years, they'd fall in love (although Jim had been in love with her for years), buy a house (Jim's parent's house), get married, have two kids...they were the America Dream. What gives Jim and Pam the top spot was their struggles in season 9. They are a real couple, with real issues just like everybody else. It wasn't all sunshine and lollipops in the Halpert household, no sir. Pam just wants her husband, but he's lost track of what's truly important chasing career instead of family. It seems like they won't make it until.
It's quite possible that re-watching that scene made me cry. Only one man knows for sure and that's the man up stairs. Happy Valentine's Day.
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