(To all the non barstool fans/parents that read this on facebook, don't even waste your time with this blog. It's not raunchy or anything, you'll just have no idea wtf I'm talking about)
BREAKING NEWS: (an hour ago when I started writing this) Barstool Big Cat will be competing in the 2016 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.
The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Concert in Coney Island is synonymous with the 4th of July in the same way that football is with Thanksgiving. I've been watching it every year since I can remember. It was just announced that everybody's favorite blogger, Big Cat, from Barstool he will be participating in this years event. It's honestly awesome news, I love when anything barstool is present on ESPN, so the fact that arguably the face of BSS is going to be featured in this special is amazing. 100% tuning in this year strictly to see Dan's performance.
I don't know what this says about me but after I learned the news one of the first things that I thought of were "how many hot dogs could Big Cat actually eat?" and "Pres or Rico should get some action going for stoolies for Big Cat's performance". Since when you think Big Cat gambling is probably like the 4th thing that comes to mind, only things that before that are barstool, Chicago and hot dogs. So it's fitting to pair the two. That's what brings to this blog. The odds for Big Cat at the 2016 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Now I've been retired from gambling for a few months but for those who don't know basic odds. If something is +200 it means you get 2-1 on your money. If something is -200 It means you'd have to bet $200 to win $100. (Basically is the odds are -X the bigger X is the more likely the outcome is that's why the payout is bad. That's why if the Patriots play the Jaguars the line for the Pats to win straight up is like -1200)
So let's get started and see where the action should be for Monday!
0 Hot Dogs Eaten: +1500
Unless there is some 1919 black sox type stuff going on with this crazy line there is no way Big Cat doesn't eat at least one hot dog. Damn man I mean I feel like every time the guy goes to Wrigley there's a picture of at least 3 different hot dogs. And that's just what he posts on twitter. As a fat guy, classic fat guy move to just show a little of what you're actually going to consume to look less like a pig, and I mean if he's willing to show a pic of 3 hot dogs for one trip then my man could be crushing anywhere between 5-10 per game. Although in a way this would be a genius move. Nobody is gonna remember the guy that eats 16 hot dogs. Everybody would remember the fat guy with the mustache who couldn't finish 1 hot dog in 10 minutes. If I'm Big Cat I seriously consider eating no hot dogs. As Pres says "content, content, content" That story would definitely go viral for at least 38 minutes.
1-5 Hot Dogs Eaten: +600
10 minutes seems like a long time, I think 1 dog every two minutes is a very easy pace for a large man. But for a regular fat person like Dan (or myself), the way we eat is way different than how competitive eaters eat, but not at this volume. Anything less than 5 would be shocking. 5 hot dogs at a cookout is child's play for any man over 200 pounds. I'm not a huge hot dog guy and know I could crush 5.
6-11.5 Hot Dogs Eaten: +125
This seems right around Big Cat's wheelhouse. I've been reading barstool for over 3 years and seen many different sizes of BC but recently it looks like he's lost a little weight recently. That could hurt here. I think 2015 Blackhawks Cup run Big Cat cruises by this no problem. No attempt at humor here just pure gambling advice.... +125 is a pretty good pay out for the 8-11.5 hot dog range as it is still plus money for the most likely outcome.
12-15 Hot Dogs Eaten: +450
This is definitely still in the possible range for Big Cat. I just hope for his own sake he does not approach the 15 range. If Dan pre-tums on Monday then this is not a bad value play.
15.5-30.5 Hot Dogs Eaten: +1700
Here are were things get dicy. I love Big Cat, but I really don't think he could eat 25 hot dogs...I shouldn't say think because I think he could, I'll revise that say I don't WANT him to. Because deep down I know he could, but just don't want to think about it, similar to the idea of your parents having sex. You know if has happened but thinking about that concept is very unsettling. I don't want one of the funniest people on the internet dead. I want Big Cat to at least see 40 or a Cubs World Series win.
20 hot dogs in one sitting has to take at least 2 years off your life right? Kinda like how they say every cigarette is 11 minutes. I think once you hit the 20 hot dog range you're subtracting multiple years of life off of you.
30.5-69.5 Hot Dogs Eaten: +3000
About the odds you'll see for the Houston Astros to make the World Series. It's definitely possible given the talent, just doesn't seem possible at the moment given a litany of circumstances: age, talent, payroll, time. Maybe if the Astros got out to hot start or if Big Cat started training before this week.
70 or more Hot Dogs Eaten: +10000
What did Kevin Malone say on the Office? Anytime someone gives you 10000 to 1 on anything you have to take it. All office fans know if John Cougar Mellingcamp wins an Oscar that Kevin will be a very rich man. Same could be said for anybody who takes Big Cat 70 or over. Say what you will but +10000 is +10000. I mean look at this last year. The Cavaliers came back in the Finals down 3-1 to the greatest regular season team in NBA history. Crazy things have happened. How about Leicester City? I'm sure people were laughing at those who bet on them to win the EPL at +5000 but now those people are laughing straight to the bank. Fuck man the Broncos just won the Super Bowl with a dead man at quarterback so as KG said anything is possible.
So there are the odds. The math may not make sense, but that's okay I'm not a mathematician, I'm just a fake blogger with an education degree. Now feel free to start letting me know where you think the action should be!
P.S. Idk who this guy with the straw hat is, but he can play for my team any day. Nobody lives for one day more than this guy who gets to call the contest. Need more people in this country with that intensity, desire and dedication.