DozOnLife
  • Blogs
    • Sports
    • Music
    • TV
    • Movies
    • Advice
    • Everything Else
  • About
  • Contact

WTF Is Going On With Wally Szczerbiak's Hair?

3/29/2021

0 Comments

 
I fucking hate the new schedule for March Madness. Of course, I'm happy to have it back at all after last year, but I miss the classic Thursday-Sunday structure of the first two weekends. I'm 99.8% sure it's because of COVID and only for this season, but there's no way to know for sure. Because of that, not gambling (trying to be responsible; super frustrated because I LOVE ML dogs), not being a bracket pool (didn't want to make a non-doz/my last name ESPN account for a work pool and I was exiled from my old pool for standing up to a dictator) and no URI Rams in the field (that's actually pretty normal), I haven't paid as much attention to this NCAA Tournament as I have in years past.

Half the fun for me was watching games with my friends over a long weekend, broing out, having a good ass time. Since COVID/significant others/pushing 30 has made that impossible this year, I just am not that invested in the tourney. I think I've only made like 1.5 Oral Roberts jokes on Twitter. Games have been (mostly) relegated to TV2 on mute. I started watching Shameless with my roommates, so most of my attention has been on that. HOWEVER, with the tourney on in the background, I've seen plenty of the Greg Gumble, Clark Kellogg, Seth Davis, and former Boston Celtic Wally Szczerbiak in the CBS Studios.
Speaking of Wally Szczerbiak, what the FUCK is going on with his hair?
Picture
Most of the follicle conversations this March Madness have been centered around Cameron Krutwig and Drew Timme's mustaches, but I'm here to talk about Wally Szczerbiak's current hair situation. This dude is a 10 year NBA vet rocking a six-year-old's haircut. I haven't seen the buzzcut with bangs since pee-wee soccer, and Wally is rocking it proudly like he just made the travel team. What do you even ask for to get this? It's not a flat top by the letter of the law. Do you just talk shit to the barber and end up with half a haircut? I know many NBA players go broke, but I hope this style isn't a cost-cutting measure to only need pomade for a smaller surface area.
Picture
I know I was #blessed with luscious locks, but I would never make fun of someone for being bald.
Picture
But in all seriousness what is this? ​
Picture
Picture
Wally clearly has a full head of hair. I don't think this is a Carlos Boozer situation. To me it looks an intentional haircut. My only question is why? 

I know I have long hair, but I'm not anti-short hair by any means. Do you. Whatever makes you happy. If Wally can be genuinely pleased with the same haircut that single moms with zero haircutting experience give their sons that have to show up to school, then more power to him, but I'm concerned. I get it some dudes "don't care" about their hair, but bro you're on TV. Have some pride in your appearance. Is everything okay, Wally? Is this a cry for help? How are CBS stylists letting someone get away with this? Make a decision; either have a little something on top to play with or go straight buzz. It's like the opposite of a mullet. Middle school in the front, 19-year-old college freshman girl rebelling against the patriarchy everywhere else.

Barber: what are we thinking today, Wally?

Wally: My usual. Number 3 all around; leave the bangs. pic.twitter.com/FJsu82xtcV

— Doz #hiredozo (@DozonLife) March 28, 2021
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    October 2024
    September 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Blogs
    • Sports
    • Music
    • TV
    • Movies
    • Advice
    • Everything Else
  • About
  • Contact