I fucking hate the new schedule for March Madness. Of course, I'm happy to have it back at all after last year, but I miss the classic Thursday-Sunday structure of the first two weekends. I'm 99.8% sure it's because of COVID and only for this season, but there's no way to know for sure. Because of that, not gambling (trying to be responsible; super frustrated because I LOVE ML dogs), not being a bracket pool (didn't want to make a non-doz/my last name ESPN account for a work pool and I was exiled from my old pool for standing up to a dictator) and no URI Rams in the field (that's actually pretty normal), I haven't paid as much attention to this NCAA Tournament as I have in years past.
Half the fun for me was watching games with my friends over a long weekend, broing out, having a good ass time. Since COVID/significant others/pushing 30 has made that impossible this year, I just am not that invested in the tourney. I think I've only made like 1.5 Oral Roberts jokes on Twitter. Games have been (mostly) relegated to TV2 on mute. I started watching Shameless with my roommates, so most of my attention has been on that. HOWEVER, with the tourney on in the background, I've seen plenty of the Greg Gumble, Clark Kellogg, Seth Davis, and former Boston Celtic Wally Szczerbiak in the CBS Studios.
Speaking of Wally Szczerbiak, what the FUCK is going on with his hair?
Most of the follicle conversations this March Madness have been centered around Cameron Krutwig and Drew Timme's mustaches, but I'm here to talk about Wally Szczerbiak's current hair situation. This dude is a 10 year NBA vet rocking a six-year-old's haircut. I haven't seen the buzzcut with bangs since pee-wee soccer, and Wally is rocking it proudly like he just made the travel team. What do you even ask for to get this? It's not a flat top by the letter of the law. Do you just talk shit to the barber and end up with half a haircut? I know many NBA players go broke, but I hope this style isn't a cost-cutting measure to only need pomade for a smaller surface area.
I know I was #blessed with luscious locks, but I would never make fun of someone for being bald.
But in all seriousness what is this?
Wally clearly has a full head of hair. I don't think this is a Carlos Boozer situation. To me it looks an intentional haircut. My only question is why?
I know I have long hair, but I'm not anti-short hair by any means. Do you. Whatever makes you happy. If Wally can be genuinely pleased with the same haircut that single moms with zero haircutting experience give their sons that have to show up to school, then more power to him, but I'm concerned. I get it some dudes "don't care" about their hair, but bro you're on TV. Have some pride in your appearance. Is everything okay, Wally? Is this a cry for help? How are CBS stylists letting someone get away with this? Make a decision; either have a little something on top to play with or go straight buzz. It's like the opposite of a mullet. Middle school in the front, 19-year-old college freshman girl rebelling against the patriarchy everywhere else.