For the love of Chuck Norris and bacon, please listen to the six foot, 26 year old in this EPIC video. YOoooOooooOLllllLLLLLLooooooOooOOooO!!!!
Real talk peeps, that dude who fucked his ex step-sister in Clueless is right, wear a mask.
Now that I've hit my quota of talking like a certified millennial, I must tip my proverbial internet cap to Paul Rudd and whoever wrote this video. Bravo! The cringeworthy mistakes are peppered in magnificently and would make Drunk Uncle proud. I was going to say "even if you're a person/moron who doesn't believe masks help stop the spread of COVID-19, you gotta be able to appreciate the humor here" but we both know they won't understand it.
Paul's giving off serious John Mayer "New Light" vibes in this PSA/meme presented by the state of New York.
One of my best friends is a Bengals fan. When you parlay that with the fact they've never been a legitimate threat to the Patriots AND my status of a hashtag good guy; I root for them to do well.
Like most people, I fuck with Joe Burrow. He's a stud and v hard to dislike. I genuinely want to see him turn that franchise around for the good people of Cincinnati. It totally has nothing to do with a bet I made on instagram that nobody remembers.
In his debut, Joe made a few plays. If you had 23 yard QB-draw for the Heisman winner's first NFL TD, you may cash your ticket.
Despite showing off the wheels, Burrow looked like a rookie making his NFL debut. Trailing by three in the 4th quarter, with the Bengals arguably already in field goal range, Burrow made a decision that will give football coaches nightmares. While you can appreciate Joe's tenacity and fight; sometimes you have to just live for another down. Especially at that point in the game. Inexcusable turnover on FIRST DOWN.
Despite (one of my all time favorite blog words) the pick and zero remaining time outs (how tf does that happen with over 5:00 left to play?) the Bengals defense was able to get Burrow the ball back with time for a potential game-tying/winning drive.
In one of the most Bengals sequences of events ever, they went from a potential game-winning TD..
..to flat out losing the game in like 47 seconds of real time.
Before he missed the potential game-tying field goal, Bullock had converted from 50 and 43 yards respectively. So he looked good up to that point (even though I did not see those kicks in real time and have no idea how they looked; makes are makes).
I know this is an elementary-ass school of thought, but it always blows my mind to see kicker stat-lines where the misses are significantly shorter than makes. I know pros aren't perfect, but it blows my GD mind.
31 yards in the NFL constitutes a chip shot. Carli Lloyd banged that with ease at like eight different training camps last year. It's six feet shorter than an extra point. Perhaps Randy just doesn't have a clutch gene?
After "injuring" his leg on the attempt, the Bengals reportedly aren't concerned about a long-term injury.
You read that correctly, both calves. I'm surprised he didn't throw on a neck brace in the locker room for good measure.
In almost a fluid motion, Randy Bullock went from swinging his leg to grabbing for it. It's hard to break it down frame-by-frame and get a good look at how quickly Randy grabs for his right (or maybe left??) leg because the score bug blocks out the magic bullet moment.
Luckily, there are plenty of twitter detectives to do the work for me.
Gun to my head I'm going he faked it. I've seen someone fake it before. I get being forgetful. My stoner brain forgets stuff all the time. I got a splinter a couple weeks ago and even though it's healed, I totally remember what finger it was on. And that's only a 10% chance of being right while guessing. Know you blows 50/50 chances at grabbing the leg they "injured"? People who are lying.
Cam Newton Rushed For More Yards Yesterday Than Tom Brady Did in 13 of His 18 Seasons As The Patriots Starting QB
Even though they both play the quarterback position, Tom Brady and Cam Newton do not have similar skill sets, but as animal abusers say "there's more than one way to skin a cat".
Brady's career completion % is 63.8; Cam's is sub-60 at at 59.7%. It took Tom Brady until his 19th season (2018) to amass 1,000 career rushing yards; Cam did in less than a season and a half.
Despite a victory in his Patriot debut, I'm not about to be some lunatic who thinks Cam Newton is all of a sudden the best QB in the NFL or that his accomplishments in one game erase the career and accomplishments of the greatest QB to ever play the game. The dude threw the ball 19 times yesterday; 15-19 for 155 yards. Although, none of his incompletions were crazy overthrows or miscommunications.
A N'Keal Harry fumble made the game appear much closer than it truly was, but as Bill Belichick has said 50 million times "it's hard to win in the NFL". I think this was a great sign for week one. Every other QB making his first start with a new team lost. While the passing game might've not been super exciting; what Cam accomplished on the ground was.
Like the final song of Co-Op: The Musical, things are going up in New England.
With the exception of one (1) Jacoby Brissett start against the Texans in 2016, we've (Patriot fans born after Steve Grogan's peak of 1976-1980) never seen a Patriots QB run like this before.
Now I'm not saying this was like the ending of the Sixth Sense in terms of shock (haven't even seen it, but I know pop culture!), but knowing Cam only (not in a bad way, I'll take it all fucking day) ran for 75 yards yesterday I found this stat surprising.
I did love seeing Brady run the ball during his time here, but I guess it happened way less frequently than I remember. In 2001, '03, '04, '09, '10 and '12-'19 Tom Brady did not surpass the 75 yard mark for the season. Fun Fact: Cam Newton now has 10 NFL starts with 75 or more rushing yards (three 100+ games).
Tom Brady finished his Patriot career averaging a whopping 4.69 (nice) rushing yards a game; Cam averages 5.1 yard/carry.
Now if Cam can just get 16.6666666666666666666666666666666% of Brady's rings.
In 2020, data and analytics are as synonymous with professional sports as winning and losing, but it hasn't always been this way!
The NBA only recently became a strictly lay-up, dunk or three-pointer league. In the 2009-2010 season NBA teams averaged 18.1 3PA (three point attempts) per game. This season NBA teams averaged 34.1 3PA; nearly doubling in just a decade.
Based on what Moneyball told us, prior to 2002 baseball scouts and front office execs valued OBP (on base percentage) less than the end piece of a loaf of bread.
Change can be scary, but it's vital for growth and development. Once a few people are successful in a method or practice that was previously taboo, others jump on the bandwagon.
Historically, NFL teams tend to be more conservative and risk-adversed in both play-calling and decision making. I swear I hope I never see a team punt from their opponent's 37 yard line again. Over the last few years that tide has changed.
In 2015, only four teams had 20 or more 4th down conversion attempts. Last year there were 12; highlighted by the 14-2 Baltimore Ravens who went 17/24 on 4th down.
That aggressive mindset is part of what earned the Ravens the AFC's #1 seed. Over the course of a year 17/24 looks great, but in a small sample size (AKA one playoff game) it's meaningless. When you lose a home playoff game by 16 points as 10 point favorite while going 0/4 on 4th down in the process, it will inevitably cause people to question the decision making.
I love the Raven's aggressiveness, but there were points in that game where going for it on 4th may have not been the right call; even if the odds say so. They call it chasing points. Down 14-6 on their opening drive of the second half, Baltimore failed on a 4th and 1 from the Titan 18 yard line. Justin Tucker is an All-Pro kicker who was 80/82 between 30-40 yards in his career. Idk what the odds were that they'd gain a yard, but they had a 97.56% chance at three points. This occurred AFTER failing on a 4th and 1 on their own 45 which set up a one-play touchdown drive for the Titans.
That introduction was presented to paint you a picture of last night's Sunday Night Football game. While the Los Angeles Rams debuted a new $5 BILLION stadium and new uniforms, they were not the only ones with a major change going into the game. After nearly a decade as Head Coach of the Dallas Cowboys, Jason Garrett's expiring contract was not extended following the 2019 season. He was replaced with former Packers Head Coach Mike McCarthy.
After coaching the Packers from 2006-2018, McCarthy was out of football last year. He must've used the time off to completely change his coaching philosophy as the infamously conservative coach turned into Bernie Sanders overnight.
This same guy once kicked TWO field goals from the one yard line in the NFC Championship Game.
McCarthy lost his Dallas Cowboys coaching debut last night by the score of 20-17 after opting to not attempt a very makable 28 yarder with 11:46 left in the game. Here's what he had to say about going for it in that spot.
I swear this isn't just because I took Cowboys ML last night (as I chased an 0-2 start to the 2020 season because the Colts couldn't beat the actively tanking Jaguars), but I don't care what the analytics say about it only being 4th and 3. You HAVE to take the points in that situation. I'm sure the book does say the odds are likely you'll convert on 4th and 3, but as the greatest coach in the history of the NFL, Bill Belichick preaches; you have to be situationally sound.
Sure, I don't have an equation or even method to the Dozo System, but let me tell you this. When you're down by three points in the fourth quarter in field goal range....you attempt the fucking field goal. There is playing aggressive and then there is reckless football. I'll never be convinced that going for it there was anything but the latter even if it was only stopped by a fantastic open-field tackle.
Because the way I see it, if you give up a touchdown when you're down three points in the fourth quarter it's likely game over. When it's tied, you still have life.
To the Cowboys credit, their defense didn't allow another point after this play AND they were on the wrong side of a questionable AT BEST pass interference call.
It may not be super fair to completely single-out this decision as to why they lost, but rational thoughts about a game that had (if my calculations are correct) 145 total plays don't make super interesting blogs. YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE POINTS!!!
Speaking of analytics and head-scratching moves, I was shocked that the Rams didn't go for two after Malcolm Brown's touchdown to attempt to stretch their lead to seven. Personally, I'm a huge "don't for two until you need to" guy, but wouldn't the book say to go for two in the second half? Whatever, it didn't end up hurting the Rams, but I found it odd; especially with McVay, whom I perceive as an aggressive/progressive coach.
Well, that game took at least a week of my life. If you ever see someone challenging the old adage that "basketball is a game of runs" be sure to show them this game. Even the no longer, but at the time they tweeted this, defending NBA Champion Raptors said so.
What a wild, back and forth, dogfight of a series and game seven that was. Celtics had a quick 10-0 run in the first and before you could even tweet out your excitement the Raptors went on 15-2 of their own. After a quarter, Toronto held a one point lead.
Of course, coming out on the right side of the series makes that a lot easier to say. Otherwise ya boi would've have been crying that the fix was in after multiple unforgivable mistakes by the refs in game six. After going up 2-0 (largely in part to Eastern Conference Semi-Finals MVP Marcus Smart's five straight 3 pointers) the Celtics were 0.5 seconds away from a 3-0 lead. Of course we all know what happened next.
Credit to the Raptors for fighting back and making this a mother fuckin' SERIES. The champs gave a valiant effort; even if I have zero respect for Nick Nurse or Kyle Lowry.
I know it's not a thing, but if there ever was an Eastern Conference Semi-Finals MVP, it should go to Marcus Smart. Ever since Paul Konerko went off when White Sox swept the Red Sox in the '05 ALDS and Chris Berman said he would've been ALDS MVP if that existed I've been waiting my moment and this is it. Marcus Smart was the heart and soul of this Celtics team all series long. Triple Double in game six and some clutch defensive plays tonight when the C's desperately needed them. You basically expect four steals a night from this two-time 1st Team All-NBA Defender.
It's almost 1 am and I've been up since 6 so let's fast forward to 35.4 second left in the 4th. After getting fouled with like 0.4 left on the shot clock after a great feed by Kemba, rookie Grant Williams, who was only in that late because Theis had fouled out went to the free throw line with a chance to give the Celtics four point lead. After returning from a timeout break, Williams missed both. Thankfully superstar Jayson Tatum showed some Smarfff like effort and earned at least 10 Tommy Points for this play.
Tatum missed one to keep it a one possession lead. I was capital V worried. With how this series has gone, you cannot give the Raptors any life. After going 1-4 from the line in that stretch I really was expecting Toronto to bang a three and have us in overtime again. Thankfully, Fred VanVleet shot a three ball that went about 12 feet and just like the C's are back in the ECF. You gotta love how close this team is.
After losing 4-1 in 2017 and suffering a crushing home loss in game 7 the next year, the Celtics have returned to the Conference Finals for the third time in four seasons. This time instead of facing Lebron, they're up against his former team in the Miami Heat (who just gentlemen swept the Bucks). No Bron (until the Finals) is good news for the Celtics as they're 0-3 against him in the ECF with two (2) game seven L's. None of that history matters right now, the Celtics pulled a Washington Nationals and won four games on the "road" and have knocked the champs out. Now it's time for Ole Dozo to knock out for the night. Oh what's that Marcus?
LFGGGGG! C's in whatever it takes!!!
The face of an intelligent, strong, happy (at least in the moment) man whose about to go off.
After winning Super Bowls and owning a boat that changes names every few years, you could argue that Bill Belichick is most famous for his management tactics. He knows how to get the most out of people with profound wisdom like "avoid the noise" and "do your job".
It doesn't matter what's going on in the world around you; do whatever it takes to get the job done. Essentially, BB wants his players to be football playing robots that focus on only the task at hand.
With the the amount of the success the Patriots have had since 2001 (even with multiple scandals) I think it's pretty fair to say Bill's done good job of getting players to "ignore the noise" despite how difficult it may be at times.
Of course, that is much easier said than done.
Maybe we've been duped this whole time? Perhaps Belichick doesn't "move on from a guy a year too early, as a opposed to a year too late", but instead ships your Lawyer Milloys, Randy Moss' and Logan Mankins of the world out of town because they were too busy raising their kids, tending for a sick loved one or caring about the future of humanity?
That's just a hacky joke, but sadly many hacks still believe that mental health should take a back seat to your career.
Skip is giving off serious Henry Clay Frick vibes with this warm and fuzzy message to Dak. In the eyes of Mr. 1.4 PPG, if you're the quarterback of the most over-hyped organization in all of sports, you're not allowed to be sad that your brother killed himself. Sorry, Dak! Imagine how Skip would feel if the Cowboys had more playoff wins than the Jaguars since 1996?
There is simply too much awful shit going on around us all to focus solely on work. You are not your job title. There is so much more to life (even though literally all I want is to write for Barstool). Prehistoric thoughts like this are sickening. While deep down I don't think it'll happen, I hope this mindset dies with that same generation. The lack of empathy is alarming. The sad thing is millions of people think this same way. What Dak said and did takes incredible courage because of dinosaurs like Skip Bayless.
I'm not a Rovell guy, but he makes a great point; even it's partly because he's salty he's not followed lolz.
Newsflash: Your mental health is important. Objectively, Robin Williams, Chris Cornell and Anthony Bourdain had pretty sick lives. Kate Spade's net worth at the time of her death was close to $200M. Didn't matter; they all opted-out of being alive. If you're more hung-up on that timely covid-reference than what I'm talking about you're missing the fucking point.
Not to get super off-track and make this about me, but I struggle every single day. I have friends that I know for a fact do too, yet we never talk about it. Yeah I might try to make light of it or how I'm feeling to make things easier, but I basically cry for help and get nothing. There's plenty of factors that lead to people deciding to check out early, but many just want the pain to end. When it feels like nobody cares about you that may be all it takes to make today be the day you finally break-down and say "fuck it".
Shit, Ub** isn't the only reason I didn't blog a lot this summer. I struggle with depression and anxiety every minute of every day. Normally, like many funny people I channel that pain into trying to make people laugh to make their lives better for the time being. The sad thing is it's really fucking hard to be funny right now when there's a Pandemic, Civil Rights Revolution and the country is literally on a fire. It's the same reason I didn't want to call into Barstool Radio to talk #43Burgers when it felt like the world was ending.
I say all that because sports have done a great job of attacking the issues of the nation head on. So many NBA players that I would've never expected suffer from depression have come out and told their stories. I know personally, as a white dude with a rich dad I feel guilty for feeling so shitty when there's so many people "worse off" than me who don't even have those thoughts cross their mind. I can only imagine how tough it was for a Kevin Love or Paul George to speak their truth. Just because an NBA player makes like $26 million a year doesn't mean they aren't allowed to have feelings and be a person. I'm hopeful for the future where the stigma is truly gone.
As for the C's and why I wrote this blog in the first place....
After the way the Celtics lost game three of this series I knew things were going to drastically change. They were on the wrong side of an all-time momentum swing. I may have even talked a little shit (as sports fans do) about how they let the way they lost carry into game four. I'm worried about that for tonight too. After the refs (and some horrible Tatum turnovers; although Nick Nurse's cheating, hardo ass should get at least a hockey assist) took game six away from the Celtics I'm sure doubts are starting to creep in. This series should be 5-1 right now lol.
As much as I wanna be like "shake it off" because they're rich professional athletes, I think it's unfair to expect them to be unaffected. If you remember my Hot Garbage Madden days you know how I'll let a bad INT or missed FG rattle me for the remainder of the game, so I can't really blame them for being like "bro we were a fucking half second away from a 3-0 lead" and getting a tad rattled.
I suppose I didn't have to say all that just to talk about the Celtics getting some love from their families in this heart-warming hype video prior to game seven, but I'm glad I did. I've had a lot of shit on my mind that I've wanted to get out, but couldn't find the way to say it. I don't care if you're net worth is $20 or $20 million, you are entitled to having human emotions. These humans, who just happen to be really good at bouncing and shooting an orange ball miss their families like we all would after months apart. Seeing these gentlemen smile after seeing their loved ones made me happy for like a whole five minutes.
For the sake of my mental and emotional health, I really hope the Celtics win tonight; should they not of course I'll be bummed out. With legitimate real issues going on, it'll be easy to put another blown 2-0 series lead into perspective (even if Nick Nurse is a cheating scumbag who in 10 seconds did something far more disgusting than Bill Belichick has EVER been accused of). This series should already be over, but it's not. America should actually be set up so people can live life peacefully and prosperously, but it's not. Go Celtics and if you are struggling with shit just know you are not alone; if you follow me on social media you can always reach out to Dozo (only if you follow me on IG and twitter; #HireDozo).
That's a joke you don't have to actually follow me, but you should because once I'm #HiredDozo you can brag about knowing about me beforehand, like people who listened to that band before they got signed.
Low-key, not that rare anymore Triple P.S.
It goes without saying, but needs to be said constantly; you truly never know what people are going through and how much a small gesture can make someones day/week/life.
Earlier this week, I was having an awful day and it continued when I woke up at 6 AM the next morning. When I checked my phone, I had an IG message from a close friend of mine whomst I wish I talked to more. Just seeing her name and positive message made my entire morning; the rest of my day working in a school I don't belong at was a little less shitty thanks to her taking 3 seconds to reach out. In closing, be nice, Go C's, climate change is real, fuck anybody who is anti-Civil Rights and you never know how much the smallest action can mean to somebody.
Scroll to where the font is black to avoid the intro.
I originally wrote this "blog" as more of a script for a video before the C's game. I was actually pretty proud of myself to bang out it between video therapy and the opening tip because normally I find a way to self-doubt myself into an extra two hours on a blog without blinking an eye. Mind you, this was after my first day inside a school since Covid officially went mainstream; so today had already been phenomenal. hashtag sarcasm. It's ironic how on my first day back in a school since C, this not so shocking news comes out!
My intentions were to make an NFL preview video on IG/Youtube after the C's game using ripped screen-recorded clips and google images, but between a double-OT defeat that was obviously impacted by officiating and trying to balance risking my life doing a job that I'm literally not qualified for (teaching out of my content area) and working up the mental/emotional energy to make content for the doz-ens (just decided I'm calling my supporters that). I've decided to stick with what I do best; the written word. I slept around three and a half hours last night so I apologize for the lack of depth. Here is a 22 personal, no bells and whistles DOL 2020 NFL Preview/Predictions Blog.
The 2020 NFL season kicks off tomorrow (tonight) with the defending Super Bowl Champion, Kansas City Chiefs hosting the Houston Texans at Arrowhead Stadium to no more than 16,000 fans. Despite a worldwide Pandemic, Kansas City is one of seven teams that have already announced plans to let some fans into the stadium; with the Bengals, Browns, Colts, Cowboys, Dolphins and Jaguars rounding out the list. Insert hacky, but factual “but the Jags don’t have fans" joke here.
Speaking of 7 teams; for the first time since 1990 the NFL playoffs have expanded. Now 7 teams in each conference will make the playoffs; changing (in total) from 12 to 14 like Chris Godwin. This means only the #1 seed in each conference earns that coveted first-round-bye and theoretically makes it possible for an entire division to make the postseason. (NFC West or South being the most likely to accomplish that feat).
This change is good news for the Saints, as this means we’ll likely see more 13 win teams lose in the Wild Card Round over-time. The Chiefs and Texans last met in the Divisional Round of the playoffs where the Chiefs famously erased a 24-0 deficit in less than 10 minutes of gametime; scoring six straight touchdowns before humiliating the Texans 51-31 in what ended up being the final game of the DeAndre Hopkins era in Houston.
The 2020 season will feature many high-profile changes (insert photo of drug testing changes) for the NFL, as D-Hop is hardly the only big name to relocate. Stefon Diggs is in Buffalo. Calais Campbell is now a Raven. Gronk is back, but in Tampa (gross) with Tom Brady who left New England for Tampa like a retired lawyer; setting off a QB domino effect with Jameis Winston going from Tampa to New Orleans, Teddy Bridgewater from New Orleans to Carolina and Cam Newton from Carolina to New England. The Oakland Raiders now call Las Vegas home and the Washington Redskins finally changed their name to the less racist, but more lazy Washington Football Team.
A record eight teams changed their uniforms for the new season/decade ranging from returning to a previous look (Browns, Bucs) to complete makeovers (Rams, Falcons). Of all the “new” uniforms, the Chargers are the most aesthetically pleasing bringing back the Powder Blues. Sadly, football fans won’t get to see Phil Rivers don the Powder Blues as he’s now wearing a different shade of blue in Indy.
Kent State located just the next state over (Ohio) and is where now officially retired Chargers TE Antonio Gates played college basketball...wait, that can’t be right? You’re telling me Antonio Gates played college basketball? That must’ve been tough to balance with football...wait...WHAT!?
Every year in the NFL there are almost three guarantees when it comes to predictions thanks to the parity in the league. The first is the "surprise" team that literally everybody is picking to make the playoffs, that usually ends up missing the playoffs. In 2019 it was the Browns, in 2018 it was the 49ers. This years team is the Arizona Cardinals.
The second is a worst to first team. Since realignment in 2002 when the Texans joined the NFL there has been a "worst to first" team every year except 2014 and 2019. This year's most likely candidate is the Detroit Lions just because the NFC North is such a clusterfuck, even though I wouldn't be surprised if the Lions and Bears still stink. Chargers could do it too if Tyrod is given a fair shake.
Lastly, one of the NFL's Final Four; a team who played during Conference Championship Weekend won't even make the playoffs. While expanded playoffs may change that trend this year, I would not be shocked to see the Packers or Titans miss the playoffs entirely. Sure, Aaron Rodgers has a chip on his shoulder because the Packers drafted a QB in the first round, but there’s like a 40% that chip breaks his shoulder and he misses 12 weeks. Trust Tree: Do we really expect Ryan Tannehill to replicate his Bob Griese run to the AFCCG? That Titans defense lost some key pieces in Logan Ryan and Jurrell Casey; although Clowney is a great add.
When the playoffs begin these are the teams you'll be watching.
5. Pittsburgh Steelers. I hate, but respect the shit out of this organization. I think if not so Big Ben stays healthy this team with a fantastic defense and solid running game should compete for not just a playoff berth, but possibly the division; 10-6.
6. Buffalo Bills. Even though Josh Allen has less touch on his balls than a neutered puppy, I love the Stefon Diggs addition to this offense. This is going to be a fun team to watch in 2020 although they might hurt from the lack of fans more than any other team in the league which low key makes me regret this pic; 9-7.
7.Las Vegas Raiders. 7-9 last year, new Stadium...time to put up or shut up for Gruden and Carr. They’re my surprise playoff pick in the AFC. Wouldn’t be shocked to see the Titans back in the mix if Derrick Henry can dominate like he did in the second half of the season; 9-7.
5. 49ers. They probably should’ve won the Super Bowl and are bringing back a lot of the same team, but the NFC West may be the best division in football, is Jimmy G the guy? Will Shanahan bound back? Probably, but I see the 9ers closer to 10-6 than 13-3 and that's why I'm picking 10-6.
6. Buccaneers. As much as I’d love to see the Bucs fail miserably, I don’t see it happening. Even with Jameis putting up 30 INT last year this team was 7-9. I do think Brady showed some signs of age last year, but even if he throws 20 INT that’s still 33.3% fewer turnovers. Too many weapons and a somewhat sneaky great D to miss the playoffs. Hard to dislike Bruce Arians too;9-7.
7. This is a complete crapshoot, but I think the Eagles sneak in. I’ve seen them in the top 10 in a lot of power rankings and just don’t get it like Local H, but Doug Pederson is a great coach and will find a way to sneak into the playoffs after a 3-5 or 4-6 start; 9-7.
AFC Championship: Chiefs over Ravens
NFC Championship: Seahawks over 49ers
Super Bowl: Seahawks over Chiefs.
Super Bowl MVP: Russell Wilson
Coach of the Year: Bill Belichick (I think leading the Opt-out-riots to the playoffs without Tom Brady will change up the usual narrative of a coach with low expectation making the playoffs winning).
OPTY: Christian McCaffery
DPTY: Devin White (take away credit from Brady and Gronk lolz)
MVP: Russell Wilson
OROY: Joe Burrow
DROY: Chase Young
P.S. Sucks Von Miller got hurt. Love him even though he cost me $660 in the 2015 AFC Championship. Best 5-8 in the biz.
For the first time since 2016, Colin Kaepernick is back in John Madden Football; the video game. While Kap's still unsigned by an NFL team, the 49ers starting QB from 2012-2015; 2016 was added to the free agent list in the game's latest update.
In case you've been under a rock since 2016; when the name Colin Kaepernick is mentioned, the read-option is no longer the first thing that comes to mind. Now controversy is soon to follow. He's probably the most polarizing American athlete since Muhammad Ali.
Admittedly, I was anti-kneeling at first. It rubbed me the wrong way. I took pride in being an American, so to see people "disrespecting the flag" angered me. I talked hella shit about Kap, but I no longer feel that way. I can admit when I was wrong and I was wrong back then. I didn't entirely get it. I think like a lot of middle class white dudes, I was naive to surroundings that didn't directly impact me first hand. For sake of time, I can say that's no longer the case. If you want to call me "woke" fucking go for it. I have seen the systemic racial discrepancies in this country at work everyday since the fall of 2018.
Whether you support BLM or are anti-Civil Rights; There is no denying the social impact Kaepernick's anthem protests have had. There is a national dialogue now. The NBA has Black Lives Matter written across the court and have agreed to use NBA arenas as voting centers to help fight voter suppression. I have a hard time believing that happens without Kap paving the way in 2016.
Despite not playing in an NFL game since 1/1/2017, Colin technically is a free agent and has been since March of 2017. He has not retired, so he completely deserves to be in the Madden free agent mix. If Taylor Heinicke and his one career touchdown pass can be in the game, then so should Kap IMO.
However,,,,, it should come as no surprise that controversy will follow this decision to add Kap to Madden. I gotta say I can understand some people's grief.
What bothers me and should bother everybody with any football integrity is that Colin Kaepernick was given an 81 overall. This same man who was 4-20 in his last 24 starts with a sub-60 career completion percentage and a 74 last time he was in the game is now a 81 and Top 15 QB in the NFL? Does a swagged out 'fro really add that much Madden value? Is this the NFL's way of saying "our bad" for black-listing?
I know Ryan Tannehill was a 2019 version of Bob Griese in the playoffs, but he still was Comeback Player of the Year and handed the ball of the Derrick Henry quite effectively as he led his team to the AFC Championship Game.
Cam Newton has been hurt the last two years, but in 2018 his Panthers were 6-2 before the wheels fell off and he led them to the playoffs in 2017. Both of those things happened more recently than Kaepernick's last NFL snap.
Despite his lack of touch, Josh Allen can still throw the ball a quarter mile and led his Buffalo Bills to the playoffs last year and as rookie upset the Vikings in Week 3 of the 2018 season in the game that fucked up America's parlay.
My goldfish/soul diesel brain tends to forget references in blogs, but I know I just used the John Mulaney bit on crime news in my latest Taco Bell blog, but damnit it fits here too!! You're really trying to tell me Colin Kaepernick, who is going on four years out of football is better than the men I just listed and gave about a sentence each about??
Look, I don't care if Colin Kaepernick ends global warming, homelessness and racial discrimination. None of those have anything to do with the gridiron (sorta). Just because he's made a stand doesn't mean he's a better QB than 2020 MVP Cam Newton (no bias) or Heisman winners and #1 overall draft picks Kyler Murray & Joe Burrow after being out of football for three plus seasons. Hopefully Kap will get signed this year and we'll get to see if this rating is truly justified.
P.S. Kap has a custom intro to address his time out of the league. Fitting that he's in a Bears jersey...despite everything I just said about the 81 being way too high, I'd roll the dice with four years of Kaepernick dust over a fully healthy Mitch Trubisky.
Recently, Taco Bell cut a bunch of fantastic diarrhea fuel from its menu. Unfortunately, loaded grillers and quesaritos were not the only items on the TB chopping block.
Come November 5th, Taco Bell's menu will no longer include Mexican Pizza, Pico de Gallo or shredded chicken. Hopefully these won't be the only major changes in November lol. Unlike the previous menu modifications, I support these (even though I'm sad to see shredded chicken go).
When it comes to Mexican (or any other foods) I am picky AF. Idfw vegetables, so Pico de Gallo and I have never formally met. Plus in my 28 years of existences I've genuinely only seen someone order a Mexican Pizza once. The article said they're a "fan favorite", but that can mean a lot of things. Lebron and Delly were both "fan favorites" in Cleveland, but only one is going to the Hall of Fame. I've conservatively gotten Taco Bell with at least 18 different people in my life and my aunt in like 1999 was the only one who dared to mix Mexican and Italian. "Fan Favorite" to describe Mexican Pizza feels like that John Mulaney bit on crime news.
Taco Bell is saying yo soy arrivederci to the Mexican Pizza because it's packaging isn't super-eco friendly. According to the linked article where I got this information from (via a friend) this change will eliminate over seven million pounds of paperboard waste; so it's hard to bash this move, even if you prefers your items to be unnecessarily difficult to eat while driving.
The Bell is getting rid of Pico for the simple reason that sliced tomatoes are basically the same thing. Credit to them for being like a dad from an 80's movie forced to make dinner that one time and saying "you can get a similar experience" with sliced tomatoes. Oh you wanted lasagna? Well here's a cup of tomato soup with two slices of wonder-bread; it's a similar experience.
The change that is the toughest for me is the death of shredded chicken; solely because the Shredded Chicken Quesadilla Melt. In the eyes/taste buds of Ole Dozo it is the best item on the value/$1 menu whatever they wanna call it, today. For a dollar you get basically a flat chicken burrito that felt about 60% of the size of a regular quesadilla. It was added bonus to feel like you were pulling one over on Taco Bell by ordering three of those for $3 instead of a chicken quesadilla and getting more food for less money. #stonks
To replace the eliminated items Taco Bell is adding a drink and a regional green sauce! I feel bad for the 17 Mexican Pizza fans out there. That must be a slap in the face to get replaced with fluids and not even a new menu item.
"The next menu item, the Dragonfruit Freeze, will be available on September 24. It's described as "a tropical frozen beverage swirled with a burst of dragonfruit flavor." Finally, two regional items will be joining the menu in select locations. First up: A Green Sauce made with fire-roasted green chilies, pureed jalapeño, and hatch green chiles is coming to select markets this fall. The Quesalupa (which hit the chain a few years ago) will also be getting another test in Knoxville, TN."
I don't know why Knoxville gets first dibs at the Quesalupa, but I do not remember this thing that apparently used to exist at some point in human history and want one immediately (no lettuce or tomato obvi).
I never understood the Sanu trade for the Patriots. On what planet is a 30 year old WR with zero 1,000 yard (or even 900 yard) seasons worth a 2nd rounder? Maaaybe on the asteroid that created Bill O'Brien's chin divot? but certainly not on any planet.
Last year when the Pats acquired Sanu I thought it was an horrible deal! You should read this for proof! I may not always be right (example: thinking the Eovaldi deal wasn't awful...but in my defense I was under the impression the Red Sox didn't care about payroll....) but I'm batting 1.000 in knowing that a 2nd rounder for a WR whose best plays are all passes is not a smart trade. Today Mohamed Sanu is no longer a Patriot. While it does prove my intelligence and football guy acumen, I'm not excited about it...just means the Patriots have fucked up yet another transaction...only now we don't have Tom Brady to hide the mistakes.
Rap might've been first to report..
..but Tom E. Curran put I-an in his place! (no offense)
Textbook example of a great tweet that will end up with < 5 likes.
Mohamed Sanu's forever legacy IMO is being the dude who said the Falcons were about to "put up 40 something on they ass" before partaking in the biggest collapse in Super Bowl history. I guess he got the last laugh though by costing the Patriots a 2nd rounder. You could argue he's partly responsible for Brady leaving by being fucking awful/hurt in 2019. 2nd rounder for a grand total of 207 yards. Awesome! Can't wait to see the Patriots go empty backfield with Edelman, James White, Burkhead (if he doesn't get cut too), Gunner and one of those tight ends nobody has heard of. #InBillWeTrust
P.S. Time for N'Keal to shine. If he isn't ruled out of bounds against the Chiefs last year I'm convinced that Kansas City doesn't win the Super Bowl.