On This Date 6 Years Ago Tim Tebow Beat The Pittsburgh Steelers in the Most Impressive 10/21 Passing Game You'll Ever See
(this video won't play here, but you should watch and see how great Timmy looked on this day)
Hard to believe it's been six years since the great Tim Tebow led the lowly 8-8 Denver Broncos past the 12-4 Pittsburgh Steelers (who let's not forget were defending AFC Champions!) in the wild-card round. Oh what a wild game it was. Many people forget this was also the first overtime game in NFL history that you couldn't just go down, kick a field goal and win. Tebow made sure that wouldn't be an issue.
Does it matter that half of the Pittsburgh defense was out?
No, that's not Tim Tebow's fault, you just play who's out there.
He didn't make the schedule and it sure as heck (won't say h e double hockey sticks out of respect for Tim) isn't his fault Ryan Clark has sickle-cell. The only thing Tim Tebow has ever been guilty of is loving his lord and savior Jesus Christ so much that it ultimately led to him being blacklisted for his outspoken faith #sad.
No exaggeration this is my favorite non-Patriot game in NFL history. I remember watching it live. It's like 9/11 in the sense that you'll never forget where you were when it happened and brought the country together for a short moment of time. Tebowmania baby. I've seen more replays of this game in the last six years than times than I've seen myself in the mirror, and let me remind you I am surprisingly vain for a man who looks like I do. I've spent more time dissecting 2011 Tim Tebow highlights in the wee hours of the night on youtube than Dexter Morgan from the hit Showtime series "Dexter" spent dissecting the bodies of killers he deemed must die according to the code.
Not only did my mans (that's not a typo mom that's hip internet slang) Tim Tebow shock the h8rs by winning a playoff game, but also he did it against the Pittsburgh Steelers, a team that I hate. At times I honestly feel like he did it just for me since I'm his biggest fan. In my book that's about as sweet as it gets. My favorite quarterback going out there just for me. He also made the Patriots road to Super Bowl XLVI much easier, let's not forget that the Patriots would've had to play the Steelers had they won, instead they dismantled the Broncos 45-10. Thanks for that Tim!
I have to thank my good friend, John Sheil aka John Brown aka J wack for bringing the anniversary of such a historic, landmark moment in not just NFL but world history to my attention, and if you're reading this and are looking to buy a home may I suggest going through him?
Yes, Tim Tebow did win a playoff game, I will never let the world forget that. Please do not let the fact that quarterbacks like T.J. Yates, Brock Osweiler, and Blake Bortles also have a playoff win under their belt take away from that. None of them threw for 316 yards on merely 10 completions. A pure boom or bust QB which is quite surprising considering Timmy has never busted in his life (allegedly) too busy taking the absolute world by storm in the latter stages of 2011. Should he still be an NFL quarterback? Yes. Was he blacklisted because of the media frenzy he brings in relationship to his abilities on the field? You betcha! Does the fact that Colin Kaepernick got blacklisted too bring me a little peace of mind in knowing that I'm not crazy for truly believing Tim Tebow (the original kneeler) got black listed for being an outspoken Christian quarterback who can't exactly throw? Why of course.
Artist: Justin Timberlake
Album: Man in the Woods
tbh I don't love this song but it's the most recent song I've added on apple music and didn't wanna waste time thinking, I felt obligated to post a song before a late night blog.
Tomorrow at 8:00 am ESPN is Dropping a Hit Piece About a Rift Over The Power Struggle Between Brady, Belichick, and Kraft
As Patriots fan you can either take this with a grain of salt and pound the "they hate us cause they ain't us" drum...that ESPN is just using the Patriots for clicks during a rather uneventful lead up to the wild-card weekend, oooooooooooooooor you can use a little logic think it's a cause for concern.
While I used to bang that drum harder than Keith Moon, I can't help but be a little worried about this news.
Now do I think this will be the last run for the Brady-Belichick regime?
No, but honestly it wouldn't totally shock me if it was. I'd say like 25% chance they break up, which considering how it's usually hovering around .94% is enough to move the needle. Something could totally happen this off-season, while I don't think Brady will retire, I wouldn't be completed shocked if Bill stepped down due to his anger over having to trade Garoppolo.
While I think the idea of a legitimate power struggle in sense of who is more important for the Patriots nearly 20 years of dominance is kind of stupid. The idea that Kraft fighting saying he's #1 is idiotic and laughable. I'd think even he'd agree Brady and Belichick are more vital towards the team's success. Kraft saved the team, but Brady and Belichick turned them into (five-time) champions. Who's more important for McDonalds success: it's owner or the Big Mac? Belichick and Brady are a million times more important towards the success on the field than Kraft. Obviously Kraft plays a huge role in the success and turnaround of this franchise, but no owner is more important than its coach and quarterback (when they're good). I find it hard to believe they're fighting about who is more responsible for the team's success. Like Matt, Eli and Klitz (thanks wikipedia!) in The Girl Next Store, they're a fucking tripod. They're all needed.
However, what I'm more worried is the relationship between Belichick with Brady/Kraft moving forward. I'm sure Tommy can't be too pleased with Belichick terminating Alex Guerrero's relationship with the team. It's been quite clear that Belichick was not happy about trading Jimmy Garoppolo. Now rumors are coming out that Brady forced Kraft to make them trade Jimmy. I've also heard Robert Kraft say multiple times that this team will not team Tom Brady. This could all be fake news, and let's hope it is, but shit is getting messy. I do wholeheartedly believe Belichick didn't want move on with Jimmy G which could be causing some serious drama at One Patriot Place.
It has been a great run, and with Brady now 40 years old you do have to start planning for future even though he's probably going to be the league MVP. One of my favorite writers in all of sports, Tom E. Curran already wrote about this very topic of a potential dynasty end last week:
We know given his history Bill would rather move on from guy a year too early than a year too late, there's countless examples over the course of this run: Mike Vrabel, Richard Seymour, Wes Welker, Logan Mankins, Chandler Jones, Jamie Collins, blah, blah, blah. Given his robotic demeanor why would Tom Brady be any different?
With his track record, I wouldn't be shocked if Bill was upset with Kraft for overruling him. Belichick would rather have Garoppolo for the next 10 years, than Brady for maybe two more. Honestly I probably would too. I was at the Jet game Sunday and TBH Tommy looked horrible. I'm already panicking that they fucked up getting rid of Jimmy G. The idea of Brady not spending his entire career in New England breaks my little heart, but I mean that's what happens in the NFL. Joe Montana went to Kansas City, Peyton played in Denver, Farve whipped his dick out in NY and nearly brought the Vikings to the Super Bowl. It's hard to be a one team guy. The idea of seeing him in another uniform makes my skin crawl, but for the long term success of this team moving on for Jimmy G may have been the right move.
Do I think that ESPN may be exaggerating a story about the Patriots to create news? Yes I do. But, at the same time I think if you don't at least consider this story to be a cause for concern you're more naive than the girl in The Kooks 2006 hit song "Naïve" was. From my background in history I do know this, when dynasty's end it's usually not pretty. S/o the fall of Rome and the Byzantine Empire. The Patriots have survived spygate, deflategate, the loss of a star due to a murder charge, the epic mistake of cutting Tim Tebow, and a 25 point Super Bowl deficit, so I understand optimism in thinking they'll beat this too. Hell, the story hasn't even been published yet, we'll know a lot more tomorrow. But if you're a Patriots fan and are completely writing this story off I think you're making a mistake. One thing those mother fuckers at ESPN did was rile up some buzz around this story. I might even wake up early just to read it (no I won't).
That being said, talk about bulletin board material. Especially if by the grace of God everything is cool between these guys. But even if it's not it's not like they aren't out here trying to win another ring. Patriots are still going to the Super Bowl. But if it does in fact end after a 6th Super Bowl ring, it'll definitely sting, but there could be a lot worse ways for it to end.
If you wanna rank importance during the dynasty
Bill and Brady are interchangeable. People will make the argument that Patriots went 11-5 without Brady in 2008, so it's all Belichick and his system, but I think that line of thought is a little skewed. Let's not forget the Patriots were coming off an 18-1 campaign in which 99.93% of their season they were the greatest team of all time. Then without Brady they were 5 games worse, and with Bledsoe in 2000 the Patriots went 5-11. Belichick is obviously a mastermind, his game plan for beating the Bills in Super Bowl XXV is in the Hall of Fame and that has nothing to do with Tom Brady. Brady and Belichick needed each other, and together they became the greatest coach and quarterback combo in the history of football. I'd argue the great player-coach combo in the history of sport.
I can't reference that song and not include it. So good.
When I first saw Paul Pierce was trending on twitter, for a split second I feared the worst... that Paul had died or something. Did he get snowed in? Maybe the stabber came back to finish the job idk? Luckily not. I saw it was only a few thousand tweets and calmed down, cause let me tell you when the captain anddddddddddddddddddddddd the trruuuuuuuuuuuthhhhhhhhhhhhh dies there will will be way more tweets about the matter.
Nope, instead Paul Pierce was trending on the twitter machine because of what he said regarding the I.T. video tribute ceremony mini-controversy from last night:
That's right, the messiness of the I.T. for Kyrie trade is leaking into the jersey retirement ceremony of one Paul Pierce. As if the break-up wasn't already dragging along enough already.
I'm torn because I loved I.T. and despite only playing two and half years with the Celtics I think he deserves recognition for what he did here. I.T. was awesome, two all star appearances as a Celtic, he was responsible for the teams first deep playoff run in five years. Everybody loves I.T. there's no denying that. But, he was only here for two and half years. It was fun two and a half years, but they're not going to be building statues for I.T. I don't think he deserves some crazy ordeal in his return. Show a highlight video, say thanks, and move on.
In a weird way his time with the Celtics is a lot like another athlete I am quite the fan of one, Timothy Richard Tebow.
Now I'm not making this analogy just to force in a seemingly unfit Tebow reference to a blog....in my head it makes sense, what I.T. did for the Celtics is like what Tebow did for the Broncos in 2011. The Broncos were semi-irrelevant for years, then they get this unconventional QB in Tim Tebow to lead them back into the national spotlight, and some playoff success. Then after that short run was replaced by a better option in Peyton Manning. While the Celtics really were only terrible for one season, the I.T. acquisition, a 5 foot, magical point guard is the move that really caused the Celtics rebuild on the fly, and his breakout 2016-17 where he averaged nearly 30 points a night helped lead the Celtics to the best record in the East, and a trip to the conference finals. While I.T. is much better at his craft than my boy Timothy, they both had major flaws (defense for I.T. , throwing the football for Tebow) were spurned by their former franchises in moves that made the team better.
Last night as the Celtics rocked the Cavaliers 102-88. It would've made perfect sense to do something for I.T. then. It was the Cavs first trip to Boston since winning the Eastern Conference on that same floor in May. It also would've been Isaiah Thomas' first game back in Boston since he was traded during the off-season. He has been hurt most of the season, but made his return the night before in Portland. However due to minutes restrictions/being scared I.T. did not play, so he asked that the Celtics not give him his video tribute that game since he wasn't playing and his family wasn't in attendance. I don't understand why he couldn't have made his debut this night instead of playing against the Trial Blazers, but whatever.
Now I do understand where Isaiah is coming from, it'd be weird to have a tribute ceremony when he wasn't playing, and of course you'd like your family their to soak it up (if only he had bought his sister a better car then she could've gone too), but now it's getting pushed back a month and falls on the same night as the Paul Pierce jersey retirement ceremony. It's just a weird situation to me. He's already been back in the building and given love by the fans.
With shit like this I feel like you have to do it first appearance back then move on. Like I love I.T. but it's kinda ballsy of him to be trying to dictate all of this, he had one monster year it's not like he's some all time great Celtic, it's not like when Paul or KG came back with Brooklyn.
Paul Pierce on the other hand is a borderline top 5 player in the history of the most prestigious basketball team in the entire world. Sure, you could say he's being a little dramatic here, but lesbihonest that's who Paul is.
And while you could say he's being a little dramatic here, he has the right to be. It's his night. Like how your birthday is your day (until you're 21 then nobody gives a fuck). He gave the Celtics 15 years, 2nd all time leading scorer in franchise history, 7th in rebounds, 5th in assists, all time leader in 3 pointers, free throws and steals. And oh yeah he lead them to their first championship in over 20 years, and came 5 points away from giving them another. Plus if KG didn't get hurt in 09 they probably go back to back, but we don't need to go down that rabbit hole.
All I know is that Paul Pierce deserves the night to be all about him. Call it selfish if you want, but it should be his night. I don't blame him. It's his fucking jersey retirement ceremony. It's literally his night. People may say it's selfish, and maybe it is, but you know what, if there's anybody who deserves to be selfish it's Paul Pierce. He's right, and he shouldn't be sharing his night, honoring his storied career in Boston with a guy who played less than 200 games in Boston.
The 2017 NFL season will be remembered (at-least by me) as a season where we saw a changing of the guard; only four of the 12 playoff teams from 2016 made the playoffs this year (Patriots, Steelers, Chiefs, and Falcons). We saw young quarterbacks like Carson Wentz, Jared Goff, Deshaun Watson break on to the scene, and yes even 4th year QB Blake Bortles improved vastly.
Secondly, this year was highlighted by high profile injuries.
Of course guys go down every year, that's just football, but in this season, more than ever it seemed like a former all-pro suffered a season ending injury basically every week. Both Carson Wentz, and Deshaun Watson tore their ACLs.
RIPIP Eagles Super Bowl Chances.
David Johnson, the man who went 1st overall in most fantasy drafts across the country played one game in 2017. JJ Watt for the 2nd straight year missed a majority of the season (breaking down from steroids????). Joe Thomas saw his over 10,000 straight snap streak end after a torn triceps in week 7. The Patriots lost both Julian Edelman and Dont'a Hightower, the two men responsible for their biggest plays in their Super Bowl LI comeback for the season. Odell Beckham Jr, pretty much the entire legion of boom, Aaron Rodgers, the list goes on. Sport Illustrated highlighted the year of carnage with a cover in mid-December.
Oh yeah, and the Cleveland Browns went 0-16 as well.
I think what Cleveland did this year was actually very nice, they adsorbed all the suckiness from other down on their luck teams, they sacrificed their entire season so other loser franchises could succeed. It's really quite honorable. I mean we saw the Jaguars, Rams AND the Bills all end decade plus playoff droughts. Plus the Titans were on the doorstep of a decade long drought as well (2008 was last playoff season in Nashville). There was no way the Browns were also going to succeed. Why go 3-13 when you could go 0-16? At least now the 2017 Browns will always be remembered.
As for the Wild-Card round, while it is nice to see some teams in the hunt that haven't been in the dance for a while, there stays may be rather short.
(5) Tennessee Titans 9-7 @ (4) Kansas City Chiefs 10-6
Going into the year I was really on the Titans, not just because at the time I was a Tennessee resident :/ but also because coming off of their 2016 campaign they looked ready to take the next step. Although they ended up with the same 9-7 record as they did last season, this Titans team is much worse than it's 2016 counterpart. Marcus Mariota's passing touchdowns were cut in half from 26 to 13 and he threw 6 more INT than he did last year. DeMarco Murray was a shell of himself, basically lost his job to Derrick Henry and the Titans limped into the playoffs. From 8-4 to 9-7 if it wasn't for a week 17 win they would've missed the playoffs entirely.
As for Kansas City, it's been a roller-coaster of a season for the Chiefs. The Chiefs started out 2017 by blowing out the Patriots on opening night, and squeaking out a win against the high flying Philadelphia Eagles. Kansas City was 5-0 then in the blink of eye they were 6-6 and it appeared they'd find a way to miss the playoffs. To their credit the Chiefs have won four straight and are back-to-back AFC West Champs for the first time in franchise history.
Last year the Titans went into Kansas City and won 19-17 thanks to a game winning field goal by former Chief Ryan Succop, however this year I think things are different and the Chiefs win somewhere around 27-13 as Alex Smith leads the Chiefs to a playoff win in likely is last home start ever in Kansas City. Historically the Chiefs are a horrible playoff team, they've won 1 playoff game in the last 20 years, but given the match up and how much the Titans have struggled this year I think the Chiefs move on and for at least a week look like the team they were to start the season.
Chiefs win 27-13.
(6) Atlanta Falcons 10-6 @ (3) Los Angeles Rams 11-5
Even though I think the Falcons are frauds, I just have a feeling Matty Ice finds away to win this game. After an embarrassing Super Bowl defeat last year for the psyche of this franchise moving forward I feel like they have to win this game.
The Rams have looked awesome this year, Todd Gurley should be offensive player of the year. Their teenager head coach really turned this team around, probably could be coach of the year. Goff looks like a completely different human, but my gut just tells me the Falcons somehow win this game. It doesn't make sense, I don't believe in Dan Quinn, I'm just going with the experienced team here. Basically every year ever except for 2015 a road team wins during wild card weekend, and I think this year it is the Falcons.
Falcons win 24-20.
(6) Buffalo Bills 9-7 @ (3) Jacksonville Jaguars 10-6
The beautiful thing about this match-up is that one of these teams will be playing in the divisional round. The last time the Jaguars did that was in 2007, and the Bills haven't made it that far since 1995. These two franchises have taken their lumps, and it's great to see them finally get a taste of success. The Bills won the NFL last week with their miracle playoff birth thanks to Andy Dalton and the Cincinnati Bengals. It really was an awesome scene.
That was to just make the playoffs, imagine if they actually win a game. As a Patriots fan it really puts shit in perspective (we're the best, and you guys stink, but it's cute to see your little brother finally get in). What was even cooler to see was how Bills fans reacted by donating over 100K to Andy Dalton's Foundation. Now do I know what is foundation does? No. But I mean I'm sure it's a great cause. Maybe like hair-dye for ginger kids so they don't get made fun of.
Sadly for the Bills they'll likely be without Lesean McCoy which essentially ends their chances of success in this game. I like T-Mobile, but this Jags D is legit. I had them in fantasy this season and they single handedly carried me to the final four. I high key think they could win the AFC. I fully expect them to win this game then beat Pittsburgh. Jacksonville is going to be crazy as they host their first playoff game since 1999. Pretty sure they're wearing all black too which is always bad news for the visiting team. With the Jags D, running game, and the improvement of one Blake Bortles I think this game gets rather ugly.
Sacksonville rolls 31-13.
(5) Carolina Panthers 11-5 @ (4) New Orleans Saints 11-5
In what should be the best game of the weekend we have NFC South clash between the Panthers and Saints. It's amazing to see what the Saints have done this year. After starting 0-2 coming off of three straight 7-9 seasons many thought this year would be the end of the Sean Payton-Drew Brees combo in New Orleans. (hand up) Instead of relying on Drew Brees to throw for 900 yards a game the Saints became much more balanced with the two headed monster of Mark Ingram and Alvin Kamara in the backfield. Oh look the Saints have a defense now too. Although they swept the Panthers in the regular season, in the playoffs you wipe the slates clean. Plus we all know the old cliche it's hard to beat a team three times in a season.
The Panthers went 11-5 just like the Saints and are no slouch themselves. While you never know what you're gonna get week-to-week with Cam Newton, he has shown before in both the pros and in college that he does not shy away from the bright lights, unless of course it's to maintain procession in the Super Bowl.
I do think whoever wins this game has a great chance to move on to the NFC championship game. The Eagles don't scare me with Nick Foles, and I mean the Vikings have been a great story but they're the Vikings, heartbreaking playoff defeat might as well been the team slogan instead of whatever the hell SKOL means. I don't think Case Keenum is going to beat Drew Brees/Cam Newton in the playoffs.
This is the one game where I wouldn't be shocked to see either team win. Like my jaw will drop if the Titans beat KC. However I'm giving the slight edge to the Saints. New Orleans has been waiting a looooong time to host a playoff game (2011) the Dome is going to be fucking rockin. Extra gumbo. Plus Drew Brees needs a nice little playoff run to help cement his legacy IMO. He's a surefire Hall of Famer, but since winning the Super Bowl in 09 the Saints are 2-3. This is only their 4th playoff appear since 2009 which is sort of surprising. If he wants to be considered an all-time great I think he needs another Lombardi, or at the very least another Super Bowl appearance.
Saints go marching in 31-27.
Song: Chasing Cars
Artist: Snow Patrol
Album: Open Eyes
Get it? Cause it's a blizzard lolol
Song: Soul To Squeeze
Artist: Red Hot Chili Peppers
Album: Cone Heads Soundtrack (seriously?)
I was having this conversation with some friends of mine at Patriots tailgate on Sunday. Why don't the Patriots use their 90's uniforms as a throwback since the NFL outlawed alternate helmets in 2013 (like idiots)
If you're unaware of the current rule, in 2013 the NFL decided that alternate helmets are a major reason why the NFL has so many lingering health issues and they needed to be banned. Sure have guys play Thursday Night Football, but get rid of alternate helmets. That'll save everything!
By doing so the NFL essentially castrated some of the leagues best throwbacks that require completely different helmets. Here are a few of my favorites.
The Tampa Bay creamsicles (they're awesome fuck you!)
The 60's-80's Eagles uniforms
And of course the three-point stance Grogan era Patriots uniforms.
I think it's a stupid rule that in the long run doesn't do that much more for player safety. They say the helmets need to be broken in, but you definitely could find ways to break in alternate helmets, but let's say the stupid ass rule stays in place, well guess what? With the Patriots current helmet you can still use this throwback.
Now I don't know how most fans feel about the Bledsoe era uniforms but I love them. I like the royal blue. I LOVE the Patriot logo, it's comically huge taking up about a third of the uniform, they have those two-tone almost 3-D numbers that are pretty neat as well. Plus the Patriots were pretty successful in the those uniforms. Lot of people say the Patriots were nothing before Brady but that's simply not true: they wore these uniforms from 1995-1999 and made the playoffs in three of those five seasons, highlighted by the teams 1996 AFC championship.
Give me one good reason they shouldn't? Oh you can't, here are some reasons why they should come back.
1. I think these uniforms are fucking sick (my opinion is extremely important to me)
2. Enough time has passed. It's going to be nearly 20 years since they went out of circulation come next season I think enough time has passed throw these into the yearly rotation.
3. It's an absolute shame we have never seen Tom Brady rock the 4 square foot Patriot logo on each shoulder.
4. 90's were fun.
Let's bring these bad boys back! (they should've done it last season for the 20 year anniversary of the '96 team.
To most, it probably sounds like a dream.
A man was withdrawing money from an ATM at a Wells Fargo bank branch in Cocoa, Fla., in late November when the machine started spitting out more cash than he’d withdrawn, police said. But the man’s reaction wasn’t exactly ecstatic, Florida Today reports.
Michael Joseph Oleksik, 23, got “angry the ATM was giving him too much money and he did not know what to do,” he told police — so Oleksik punched the ATM’s touch screen, the newspaper reports, causing more than $5,000 in damage to the pummeled machine.
Surveillance video caught Oleksik in the act, 5 News reports. He apologized for the damage, according to a police affidavit, explaining that he was trying to get to work at the time.
Oleksik, a Merritt Island, Fla., resident, was booked at the Brevard County Jail Complex in Sharpes, Fla. on Dec. 21, according to jail records, and was released the same day on $2,000 bond.
He was charged with criminal mischief, a felony, jail records said. Wells Fargo asked the Cocoa Police Department to press charges, Florida Today reports.
Florida strikes again!
I've never understand why some people punch inanimate objects when they're upset. Such a hardo, psycho move. There are no positive outcomes in that situation. I'd have to imagine that rivalry is rather one-sided in favor of the inanimate object. Sure, you can break the object, as Michael Joseph Olesksik did, but usually at the cost of injuring yourself. Not worth it! Windows or walls (s/o Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz) never need to go to the hospital when they're broken, the same cannot be said for their human counterparts. But what do I know? I'm not a psychopath.
In the case of one Michael Joseph Olesksik I'm even more confused as to why his first reaction was to punch an ATM after it gave him too much money. To answer Lil Jon's question in Get Low... I am scared! This Oleskik kid from his mug shot seems like an okay guy, sure his beard could use a little trim, but when I look into those eyes I don't see a person who could destroy an ATM. I'm not saying he's Ted Bundy, but come on Michael what are you doing? Why did you do this? I'm really bummed that the security footage has not been released because that would really answer all my questions.
Did he just panic, which turned to anger and punched it once thinking that would stop it? Like was he that worried about over-drafting? Because in that case I can almost feel for the guy. But I gotta say that seems about as unlikely as an ATM machine giving you extra money, which despite the context of this story, is quite rare.
My fear here is that he's just a psycho that doesn't know how to react to one of live's sweetest gifts: free money.
Now before I go on any further, anybody who says this isn't really "free money" can kick rocks. Fuck the big banks, if their machines malfunction than that's on them, it's like when you order bowl at chipotle with chicken AND steak and they only charge you for chicken. It's not your fault they fucked up, they can't ask you to pay for the steak the next time you come in. Idk if my chipotle logic will hold up in a court of law, but I'm just saying you shouldn't be required to return shit when it was given to you because of someone else's mistake. Have better tech if you don't want this to happen. And if you are they do try to take it back, guess what? you just take whatever money you got from their fucked up machine and join a new bank, problem solved.
Now as I was saying. . . .
Is this his go to immediate reaction when he finds himself in a favorable predicament?
Because if so, then I feel like felony criminal mischief is a slap on the wrist. Like if Michael ever found himself on the receiving end of an alarm clock blow job by a nice young lady (or young fellow if that's what he prefers, it's nearly 2018!) and his first reaction was to knock her/his lights out then I'd say lock him up and throw away the key. Because despite knowing those technically exist, I too find it happening about as unlikely as an ATM giving you free money.
I just can't wrap my head around this guy's logic. Does this guy not understand how life works? You need to celebrate the victories. Not get angry like a maniac and cause $5,000 in damage to an ATM. Having that reaction of anger in literal dream scenario is alarming. We might have ourselves a pre-crime situation on our hands. Every time I go to the ATM I pray that there's an extra twenty stuck to whatever I'm withdrawing. Here we have MJO (to save time) beating up the ATM machine like it owes him money.
Now yes, I too read the article and saw that he was worried about running late for work, but to me that excuse is total bullshit and reeks of just trying to cover up being a crazy person. Let me tell you something buddy, if there's ever a valid excuse to be late to work then it's when an ATM is literally giving you free money. If your boss doesn't understand why you needed to stick around a little longer than anticipated then maybe it time to check the classified ads. You never leave the table during a heater, and when you're getting free money literally handed to you, you gotta ride that shit out until the very end.
Also not to take too much liberty here but given his mug shot I'm guessing this guy's job isn't all too serious. He's 23 in South Florida wearing a t-shirt to work. Any job you wear a t-shirt to isn't life or death if you're a few minutes late. I'm sure Red Lobster would've been just fine had MJO been a few minutes late. You know what? Fuck this guy, I'm glad Wells Fargo pressed charges on him. You don't bite the hand that feeds, and you certainly don't punch a stupid broken ATM that decided to chose you it's lucky recipient.
In maybe the most predictable move of the season, the Patriots have signed former Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker James Harrison, just two days after his release. It's really quite impressive how much the Steelers have outdone their recent stupidity with this move. A mere 9 days ago they were running the most predictable fake-spike play in NFL history, Big Ben threw into a blanket of about 13 Patriots defenders, and now they're throwing away franchise icons, only to be picked up by their biggest competition in the AFC. Sad!
Not only can the Steelers NEVER beat the Patriots, but now they're losing their all time sack leader to them as well.
It's going to be soooooooooooooooo sweet to tie their Super Bowl win record with one of their all time greats along for the ride.
As soon as Harrison cleared waivers you knew this move was coming. It made all the sense in the world. He still wants to play, and the Patriots front-7 needs all the help it can get. I bet James Harrison didn't even waste his time checking his phone or talking to his agent once he got the news he was released. I'm guessing he drove to the airport. got a ticket to Boston, landed, took a shit because he's wayyyy to big for an airplane bathroom, rented a car, started driving to Foxboro and walked in the facilities and was handed his playbook.
Now I'm sure Steelers fans who surely must be panicking now will tell you that James Harrison has only played about 50 snaps this season, accumulating 3 tackles and 1 sack, and is over the hill. That only makes me love this move more. As the great TB12 once said he's fresh as lettuce. Plus one sack would put him within shouting distance of the team lead here. Not only that, but I'm sure he's in meetings now giving the Patriots his years of insider Steelers knowledge, although knowing Bill and Ernie Adams track record they'll probably be teaching James Harrison a thing or two about the Steelers defense.
Sure James Harrison is 39 years old, but I think you could use his lack of playing time this season as a strength, plus we have this dude behind center who is 40 years old and he seems to be working out just fine. Speaking of working out just fine (maybe I still do have it!) If there's one thing James Harrison does its, work out, despite his advanced age the dude is still a freak show.
The Patriots don't need him to be 2008 James Harrison, if he can help their defense get some pressure on third down in the playoffs it's a win. My guess is he'll end up with some huge post season sack. Probably against Big Ben, man I still can't believe the Steelers allowed this to happen. Plus he's already making jokes. I cannot wait to see this man in a flying Elvis helmet! Blitz for 6 is back on! (never was really off but whatever)
This is hilarious