(I know he tweeted this out like 5 hours ago but I was kind of busy with my job sry)
That's it guys, the challenge is over, nobody is topping this one. Don't waste your time. No exaggeration this is one of my favorite things I've seen on the internet in weeks. If you're unaware of the #MannequinChallenge is..basically you just pose frozen...like a mannequin (get it?) with the song "Black Beatles" by Rae Sremmurd and Gucci Mane. It's that simple. I usually hate this type of rap but even I hate to admit the song is pretty catchy. It's been going viral all week at offices, schools, lorckerrooms, pretty much anywhere but Paul McCartney by his piano is the best one yet. The fact that this got so big, so quickly that one of the two remaining members of the Beatles is actually doing it is very cool. Only would work with Paul too. If Ringo did this it'd probably get like maybe 3 retweets. In the grand scheme of legacy in music Rae Sremmurd and Gucci Mane together aren't even a grain of sand on the beach of musical legends ( just made that up on the spot NBD) so that fact that Paul took the time to pay a little respect to that song and the challenge is just a really cool internet moment in my book. Idk how else to put it, this isn't exactly a highlight reel blog I just love this clip and had to share. Plus he executed it perfectly. Playing the verse in the song that has his name is a great little added detail also he is maybe the most convincing mannequin of all time. Probably because he's 74 years old, and all people that old are basically mannequins anyway. P.S. I've had to google how to spell "mannequin" correctly this week more times than I'd like to admit.One of those words where I was so off spellcheck couldn't even try to point me in the right direction. Definitely belongs in the category of words like necessary or restaurant that aren't even that tough but I just never get right on the first try because I'm stupid and can't spell. Reaaaally hope I'm not alone on this one.
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Song: Lighterless Artist: Microwave Album: Much Love Make sure you vote today! I know both (yes, both if you waste a vote on Gary Johnson you're an ass hole) candidates are trash but it doesn't matter. One has no real platform, the other is a criminal. Take 30 minutes and go vote for one of them. It's one of the prices you need to pay to live in the great nation, it's your civic duty. It's called being a grown up, sometimes you gotta do something you don't want to do. Even if you hate both candidates at least go and vote for the local issues in wherever you live. Whether you're #WithHer or Making America Great Again go out and vote!
One final thing I'll say in this I'm sick of people saying they don't vote because their vote doesn't matter. You realize if all the millions of people who thought that way actually voted they could make a pretty big impact right? And no I won't tell you who I'm voting for, but I'm not gonna vote until like 2 pm so if you wanna buy my vote feel free to start the bidding. Nothing more American than selling out.
Bottom of the 9th.
Tie game. Bases loaded. Two outs. Up steps Timothy Richard Tebow to the plate.
Walk off single for Tebow's Scottsdale Scorpions to beat the Mesa Solar Sox 4-3.
A crappy little seeing-eye walk off single is maybe the most Tebowesque thing that could happen. Now while he's chasing this baseball dream a little too late in life, baseball is the perfect sport for Timmy. The big knock on my guy in the NFL (even though he had a 6 game winning streak and won a playoff game, idk if you remember that) was his inconsistency. Well in baseball in a weird way everybody is inconsistent. If you go 1-3 everyday you'll end up in the hall of fame, failure is a huge part of the game, even for the all time greats. Speaking of all time greats (sweet segway Doz!), Tebow credits HOF OF Reggie Jackson for his approach during his walk off AB. via http://sports.yahoo.com/news/tim-tebow-hits-walk-off-single-after-getting-advice-from-mlb-legend-064624431.html “The whole day they had been throwing me outside fastballs and they had the shift on a little bit, and Mr. Jackson was just talking about letting it get deep and going with it,” Tebow said. “So first pitch tried to let it get deep and hit it opposite way, especially when they play you for a pull.”
It wasn't pretty, it wasn't a hard line drive into the gap but guess what it doesn't matter. It goes in the boxscore as a single. The beauty of baseball, (as displayed in this Postseason) is that it doesn't have to be beautiful. Say whatever you want but Tim Tebow had a base hit to win the game. Sure Tebow's game in the NFL was ugly, but guess what it got results. People will say Tebow sucked, but the fact still remains in the one season he was a starter he had a winning record, more TD passes than INT, rushed for over 600 yards and won a playoff game. Sure it was ugly and took minor miracles but it happened. Those are all facts. He never got another chance to start so you can say he would've continued to suck but unfortunately we'll never know. While I still don't expect him to make it to the big leagues, it's nice to see Timmy have a little success in the Arizona Fall League.
Tebow has struggled in the AFL, that base hit bumps his average up to .146....he's a cool 6-41 so far but what do you expect in the AFL? Plus he's also hitting 1.000 in his last 1 at bats so there's that. #onfire. He's playing against actual talent who has a chance to go to the bigs. This isn't the instructional league anymore. The walk off hit he got last night was against a guy in AAA so to me it's pretty incredible he's had the success he's had so far considering he didn't play baseball for a decade. So while he's probably not going to be playing LF for the Mets anytime soon it still IMO is pretty cool to see Timmy have this little moment. Song: Talk Too Much Artist: COIN Love this song. As a young person you hear constantly about how much tougher people were back in the day. They had to walk up a hill both ways through snow to get to school and the food industry basically allowed severed fingers in meats til about 1907, but holy shit this picture is INSANE to me. I didn't realize how bad ass kids were back then. Look at this picture; just like 20 kids messing around on a jungle-gym no less than 30 feet off the ground. I know people will say this country is getting too soft and children are too coddled, but at least parents nowadays actually care about their children's well being. How did nobody in 19whatever stop this?
What this picture really does is just reiterate my hypothesis that love didn't really exist in most families until after WWII. It wasn't until returning from the horrors of war (for some; a second time) that people realized you should probably try to be happy in life. That's how the idea of the American Dream started. Generations finally realized it's okay to relax and not work 22.5 hours a day so you can die of old age at 35. When I was in school learning about the U.S. from basically the Constitution to when the boys came back from overseas in 1945; I started to think the idea that you were "supposed to love your spouse and children" was not commonly practiced. I'm sure there were a few people early to the trend, but there's no way the majority of people loved their families AND allowed them to do the things that went down before the baby-boom. I mean look at the way people used to treat their children, let's start with the obvious: Child Labor. Child Labor wasn't completely illegal until 1938 and for the kids who were lucky enough to go to school they got beaten with rulers and climbed what I'm sure was not very sturdy metal poles for fun. If they made it to class after recess it was time for intro-to-steel or Model T assembly. You're going to tell me with a straight face people cared about their kids and let them work in factories at 6 years old? GTFO! Nope! In 1893 your 6 year old son was just another employee to you to help keep a roof over you, your wife and your 14 kids' heads in your 2 room apartment. Plus 1938 is really not that long ago, there are plenty of people still alive when kids could be working 60 hour weeks in the textile mills (until they would eventually catch on fire). It's like when you think about how women couldn't vote until 1920, or black people until 1965. Smh @ everybody with power. It's crazy how crazy (sweet sentence) this country was not even 100 years ago. (Spoiler Alert: It still is) Since you were having litters of anywhere from 8-18 children (who were really just like your own little slaves) and a decent percentage wouldn't see adulthood; you just didn't have the time to develop a loving relationship with your kids. Why waste the time to love your son or daughter or even learn their name were they're gonna get smallpox and be gone before the time it takes you go out to the ice box to grab some salted meats for dinner? Also arranged marriages were pretty common until the 18th century in the US. So that pretty much eliminates the idea of falling in love with your spouse for the first century of America's existence. Then in the 1800's people were too busy trying to explore this country. There was no time to worry about your wife or children when you were going across the country on a covered wagon with your entire town. You had to make sure you weren't going to get stampeded by Buffaloes. Also people who immigrated to the US during the great waves of immigration in the mid to late 1800's to early 1900's also had arranged marriages set up, usually to make it easier to get into the country. No wonder why families used to have 18 kids. In addition to no birth control (other than your wife dying during labor) people would have to make up for the 6 kids that would die before they turned 5 years old. After looking at this picture I'm guessing you also had to make up for the 3 kids who would die everyday at recess. There must have been body bags everywhere from the kids who were climbing the framing of a skyscraper that was being constructed for the big new city. I mean seriously, how tall was this thing? At least if you were lucky enough to survive recess, you knew you weren't going to be doing this for very long since after about 4 years of school it would be time to drop out to go to work full time at the ripe old age of 9. Just study this picture for like a minute, there's soooo much going on. First off this "jungle-gym" is at least 30 feet in the air. I counted and there are at least 11 kids on the top level on this thing. 11!! That's a football team full of kids just hanging out during school on what was probably the tallest structure in whatever town in Texas this picture was taken in. That means there could be 11 different families worth of kids doing this. There wasn't one who said "you know what? maaaaaaybe it's not the best idea to have Clarence and Harold climbing 200 feet into the air to balance on a pipe?" Not only is this contraption about 200 feet tall but it also has benches placed directly underneath. So when you did fall to your death at 7 years old you aren't even going to have the luxury of dying from hitting a flat surface. Nope, you get to die falling on a park bench. Even the way people died was more manly than we do now. If you don't have the bench break your fall, don't worry, there's a kid riding a damn bicycle underneath this death trap as well! Didn't somebody have a hoop they can push with a stick instead? Via: http://www.vice.com/read/trumps-staff-has-banned-him-from-twitter-until-the-election-vgtrn?utm_source=vicetwitterus "On Sunday, the New York Times reported that Trump's campaign staff has taken over control of the GOP candidate's Twitter account so that he can't go on any late night rants during the last few hours of the 2016 election season." Tomorrow is election day (can't believe that it's here) and both side are doing all that they can to improve their chances in the waining hours before tomorrow. Hillary's team is probably out there deleting more emails while Donald's is making sure he stays away from technology all together. Yes, with the Election happening tomorrow Donald Trump's staff decided it is in the best interest of the team to take Donald's twitter privileges away so that he won't impulsively say anything that will worsen his chances. Now I'm not here to talk politics or policy. I'm not here to go after the low hanging fruit and make crappy jokes about "if we can't trust Donald with twitter in this spot how can we trust him to run the country"? Any bum off the street can do that. I'm not even mad at Barry, it's a good point and tbh I agree with him but here at DOL gotta be a little funnier than that. Anybody can make that point. What I'm here to do is talk about how jealous of Donald Trump I am. Now I want to preface it by saying I'm only jealous in this situation, because despite being rich AF and the Republican Presidential Nominee I'm all set with being the Donald. Even as a 24 year old loser I'd rather be me. For one have you seen my fucking hair? (not even that great of a picture of it if we're being honest) Have you seen his? Game over. No contest. Advantage Doz. That's a bigger blow out than James Madison football vs. URI. Yeah he's rich but money cannot buy my flow (it probably can, but whatever) No, what I'm jealous about is how despite needing a miracle to win the election his staff is still there for him to make sure he doesn't totally sabotage the minute possibility he has to win. I appreciate that dedication to a friend. See your boy ole Dozo here used to be (and still is sometimes) a serial drunk tweeter/texter/snapchatter and they've gotten me in a world of hurt. My job from 2013-2015 on my resume might as well be professional sabotager, because that's all I did. I've had literally hundreds of mornings where I avoiding looking at phone for hours from the secondhand embarrassment of the drunken actions of myself. All that could've been avoided if I had Trump's staff following me around during college. Not proud but it's what happened. Similarly to Trump I mostly just embarrassing myself to girls that I didn't really have a chance with anyway. While it technically isn't me making those decisions, (drunk me, isn't me, big difference) I still have to live with the consequences, hell this blog alone is basically me just airing dirty laundry with the minor hopes that people on the internet think I'm funny and give me a job, I'm probably sabotaging myself again right now. I'm just saying it would be pretty cool to have had people that were there to make sure I didn't make myself look like a complete ass hole. Woulda be nice to have a staff (friends) there to prevent me from drunk texting my ex girlfriend for two years. Now I know what you're thinking.... Ryan (that's when you know it's serious), you're almost 25 years old don't you think its time that you start acting a little more responsible? Yes I do, and I think I am. (We're talking about 21-23 year old Ryan, NOT 24. I've matured a ton but this isn't about me trying to make myself look better) I'd like to let you know that Donald Trump is 70 years old, 70!!! It's insane to me a 70 year old needs someone to make sure he's on his best behavior. He's the fucking Republican nominee and has to have people take his twitter away from him. Just think about how insane that is for a second? So before you cast your judgments at me, (which would be pretty uncool, I'm just trying to make you laugh) cast that at the Donald. I'm totally fine with passing the buck here. A 70 year old man who could be President isn't enough of an adult to not tweet ridiculous things in the wake of what is one of the most important days of his life. Makes a stupid drunk 22 year Ryan ******t not look so bad now, huh? Been busy af the last few weeks but I'm gonna try to blog a lot more this week! Song: New Song Artist: Warpaint Album: Heads Up |
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