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Are the Celtics Disgusting, Inexcusable Collapses Simply Boston Sports Reaching Equilibrium?

9/18/2020

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I've been trying to figure out how to open this blog for a solid 20 minutes. Ya boi is just a mess rn, but the blogs must go on! (#HireDozo) At least the C's lack of heart has distracted my brain from constantly thinking about how the Red Sox willingly traded away Mookie Betts. Oh, fuck...

There's simply too much to unwrap and I am too goT damn tired after my first week teaching to pour my heart and soul into dissecting how and why the Celtics are down 0-2 despite holding a 14 point FOURTH QUARTER lead in Game 1 and a 17 point lead in Game 2. I'm a pseudo-analytics guy when it comes to basketball, but I can confidently tell you this is not good.

Boston scored 25 points on 32 possessions against Miami's zone defense. That's 0.78 points per possession.

— Couper Moorhead (@CoupNBA) September 18, 2020
I am feeling so many emotions that need to get out, but I also feel pressure (from myself) for every blog to be quality. DOL isn't some rib-meat and gizzards bashed into a chicken nugget. I strive for grade A quality white meat posts. Every stroke of my keyboard could be a one that gets me noticed. It totally doesn't exacerbate my anxiety at all! 

But, like sorry bro/girl-bro, I am BIG SAD that the Celtics blew yet another substantial lead. I burned five minutes of every class today bitching about it to 7th graders on zoom. I had to talk to somebody!

It'd be a completely different story if the C's were down 0-2 and just getting manhandled from the opening tip; like in 2017. Not so deep down we all knew they had no chance against the Cavs. They almost lost in the first round to an 8 seed for Jah's sake. That was just a "happy to be there moment" for this franchise that would never admit such. Of course, I'd be lying if I said Avery Bradley's game winner in Cleveland didn't give me a few ounces of false hope.
I'm not someone crying about sports and politics colliding because it ruins "the escape" that sports provide. I'm a good person and care about humanity improving more than the NBA.

That being said; with Covid, America on fire, fascism on the brink, billionaires being a thing, a v fucked up family dynamic, being a high key binge-boi, being born with a sub-par wein, a crumbling social life and working in a petri dish, yeah the Celtics have been an escape for me. I am what you call emotionally invested in this team's success. When you have a legitimate chance at a championship and give not one, but two games away in the Eastern Conference Finals it's fucking devastating.

The Celtics' in-game win probability topped out at 96.1% in Game 1 and 94.4% in Game 2. They lost both.

— Tucker Boynton (@Tucker_TnL) September 18, 2020
How does this keep happening?  I know the series isn't over until someone wins four games, but I mean are the C's really going to be able to win six games in a second straight series? 

We can blame Brad for being the new age parent who never yells (or motivates his team) or the players for being less fundamentally sound than a JCC team; I mean how do you not know how to beat a zone as professionals? 20 fucking turnovers???
You can scream and yell all you want; like the players did post-game.

Marcus Smart is screaming in the #Celtics locker room and there is a bunch of arguing going on. Smart comes out say “y’all on that bullshit!” Team is imploding. Smart is in bathroom and there is still screaming coming from locker room.

— gary washburn (@GwashburnGlobe) September 18, 2020

ESPN Sources: Brad Stevens had a late night Thursday meeting with Celtics leaders – Kemba Walker, Jayson Tatum, Jaylen Brown and Marcus Smart – to work through emotions of post-Game 2 locker room. A lot of yelling in locker room, but nothing escalated to a physical confrontation.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) September 18, 2020
I am simply posing the question "Are the Celtics disgusting, inexcusable collapses simply Boston sports reaching equilibrium?"

I'm almost positive that I'm using equilibrium correctly.
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Collectively, Boston/New England professional franchises have won 12 championships since 2001; by far the most successful sports city in America this century. All four major teams have at least one championship, but the Celtics and Bruins have each only won one championship during that run. The Celtics have appeared in the NBA Finals only twice since 1987; winning once in 2008 and losing Game 7 in 2010. They're essentially the Kansas City Royals when it comes to championships the last 30 years. Of course that's better than most professional teams, but it's not like the C's have been a dynasty my whole life.

What I (and all other Boston sports fans) have experienced the last 20ish years is countless incredible postseason comebacks. Off the top of my head we have witnessed the 2004 Red Sox 0-3 comeback in the ALCS against the Yankees, Bruins-Leafs Game 7 2013, Super Bowl XLIX and Super Bowl LI. Any one of those moments is more impressive than anything a San Diego, Minnesota or Buffalo sports fan has seen in their lifetime. 

Sir Issac Newton's third law of physics; which we all know by heart is "every action has its equal and opposite reaction". Are the Celtics two disgusting choke jobs just the universe leveling things out? I mean the Red Sox came back from a 3-0 hole against the Yankees then six years later the Bruins blew a 3-0 series lead of their own. Kind of like a karmic payback if you will? We still really haven't had to pay the sports God's back yet for 28-3. Part of me wants to say you could say the horrible officiating against the Eagles in Super Bowl LII was our karmic tax, but I mean the Pats followed that up by winning another Super Bowl. Like Lieutenant Dan that argument has...
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When I saw this stat (that I know I already attached earlier in the blog) the first thing I thought of was Super Bowl LI. 

The Celtics' in-game win probability topped out at 96.1% in Game 1 and 94.4% in Game 2. They lost both.

— Tucker Boynton (@Tucker_TnL) September 18, 2020

A look at the dramatic turn in win probability in the Patriots' Super Bowl win. pic.twitter.com/tfBpu81zLm

— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) February 6, 2017
Again, the series isn't over.

Far from over #BleedGreen pic.twitter.com/E7xnnPZrDc

— Boston Celtics (@celtics) September 18, 2020
But after dropping that 0-3 Red Sox comeback/3-0 Bruins collapse stat on you isn't it kind of weird to see Boston's other two teams partake in a similar comeback/collapse fashion? Now, of course the 28-3 choke is much more impressive/historically important than blowing a 14 point 4th quarter lead, but when you parlay it with game two; losing two straight playoff games where your win probability was over 94% there is an argument to be made it's worse since it's happening over multiple days. The Falcons collapse was like less than 90 minutes of real time.

Should the Celtics go on to lose this series these two blown games will be all everybody remembers. I can respect that they have a lot on their mind's right now; trust me. But to follow up Game 1 with an even worse collapse...bruh.

I'm not saying the Celtics are dead, but I think I can hear "Truth Hurts".  Let's hope my stupid theory is wrong and the Celtics make it a series Saturday night (possibly with Gordo?).

#NEBHInjuryReport for Game 3:

Javonte Green (right knee surgery) - PROBABLE
Gordon Hayward (right ankle sprain) - QUESTIONABLE
Romeo Langford (right adductor strain) - OUT

— Boston Celtics (@celtics) September 18, 2020
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