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DOL House Keeping Vol. 38; Open Letter to The Readers

6/22/2020

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Good afternoon to the loyal readers of DOL,

First off, I love you. Do you know that? I need you to know that. You did nothing wrong and this is not your fault.  I love writing for you on DOL (almost) every (week) day, but things are just gonna be a little different around here for the time-being, but .ya know what? You could make the argument that this new arrangement is gonna be even better! Please allow me to beat around the bush instead of just getting out there and saying the H word.

This whole corona situation has been an absolute shit show from Hell with nearly a half million deaths world wide, millions out of work, and more rumors circulating than a high school cafeteria.  I think everybody is depressed rn. March 12th feels like it was at least 8 years ago. I'm pretty sure I ate #43Burgers in 2013.  Time has ceased to exist until further notice.

Whenever I wake up naturally before 11 am during quarantine I feel like a fucking astronaut

— Doz #hiredozo (@DozonLife) April 27, 2020
I've tried to make the best out of a bad situation.  My full-time job while I was out of work and sheltering at home was blogging and growing the DOL brand. I wanted to use this time to my advantage.  Since I lost my job, applied and was approved for unemployment I figured I was doing the right thing. 

Before C I was hustling my flat ass off, ya boi was working full-time as a long-term sub and transporting people in the backseat of my 2007 Pontiac Grand Prix to various locations across the state of Rhode Island a̶n̶d̶ ̶P̶r̶o̶v̶i̶d̶e̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶P̶l̶a̶n̶t̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶  at night and on the weekends. I was writing and making content in my spare time, but unable to put in the amount of time I wanted to. In a weird way this whole situation was a blessing in disguise from a writing stand point. It gave me an excuse to solely focus on writing. Then after about a month, I stopped getting unemployment. It took nearly two months for the situation figured out and tbh it still isn't fully settled. I may drop a video about the whole situation, but since I'm still technically appealing I'll let you use your imagination here.

What I can tell you is since I was deemed ineligible for UE, I gotta get back to work. With "school" now over for the summer, that means one thing; time to mask up and get back behind the wheel. That's exactly what I did this weekend.  I drove like another Ryan.
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While I would absolute love to sit at home and blog all day, it does not pay the bills #yet. I gotta make money so I can live my life and put it on doz on LIFE. I'd love to be able to purchase a real camera so I can do more videos. My friend Ty and I have been in discussions about getting a podcast started for months. Big things are in store, but it means for a few weeks I may be back on my sporadic swag.  

people in the streets are asking will @DozonLife ever average more than 1 blog per day... the @barstoolsports grind never stops why are the @DozonLife blogs? the people want more new blogs give the people what they want!!! #hiredozo

— Skrrrt Cobain (@401TeflonDon) May 15, 2020
I watched Rocketman a few weeks ago and have had Still Standing stuck in my head ever since, talk about a perfect time to drop the Elton bomb. ​​
My biggest concerns about having to uber to survive this summer (until #HiredDozo is a reality) were safety and profits. I'm not trying to catch the Rona, I would love to avoid it at all costs..driving for Uber definitely elevates my risks. Speaking of costs, I was worried about the cost of rides being low due to a lack of demand since there's so much less going on due to covid restrictions. 

After this weekend it's evidently obvious that Corona and Cancel Culture will not take down summer 2020.

All summer long please□ #bloggingdontpaythebillsyet pic.twitter.com/a1e6y2U8dk

— Doz #hiredozo (@DozonLife) June 19, 2020
Apparently Uber drivers were eligbile for UE this entire time. So if I had just been a driver and not a sub I would've made like 10K the last three months. So basically, this is a long winded way of saying, I'm going to be working a lot (21 Savage voice) to take advantage of this easy ass uber money.  Since they're sucking off Uncle Sam's wein, I will carry the load while they're gone. I LOVE driving for uber when it's surging. I'll stay out until they have to scrape me out of my 2007 Pontiac Grand Prix.

I don't know what the future looks like, I could end up having days where I write five blogs, I'm still trying to master the Weebly app, but it is more flawed the timeline of the Entourage movie. For the next few weeks I may be a little busy trying to stack this bread.  Do not worry, that's why I'm sitting you down now so you don't hear rumors from the detractors.  I feel like I've really been hitting my stride as a writer, but I gotta be able to pay my bills and keep the lights on until Davey Pageviews comes a callin'.  I'm still active AF on social, so be sure to follow @dozonlife on instagram and twitter. Dozo loves you. I'm still going to blog, just (likely) not as much. I just want people to understand why there may not be as much DOL to consume for the next month or so. 

Love,

Ole Dozo
P.S. If you need some Dozo in your life, be sure to check out what I was able to create during Corona.
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In the inaugural episode of Here Goes Dozo I attempt to set the record straight on a multi-year debate with @seanwright_ that tuna is disgusting and basically cat food by conducting a triple-blind taste test with chicken, tuna and cat food. . . . HUGE THANKS to @zeuslb & @e_scov for their help (and home) with this. . . . □”Give Me a Try” by The Wombats (14th Floor Records & Bright Antenna) and “Fish Heads” by Barnes and Barnes (Lumania Records) . . . #Food #foodporn #foodstagram #foodie #Tuna #chickensofinstagram #chicken #chickenofthesea #DIY #imadethis #content #tiktok #coronavirus #covid19 #saveronswood #barstoolsports @stoolpresidente @ekanardini @kfcbarstool @feitelberg @barstoolbigcat @youngpageviews @pftcommenter

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on May 18, 2020 at 1:03pm PDT

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Quick back story: I wrote about half this song on January 18th and was planning on recording with a verse from @hedgeclips. Legit song and video. The whole 9. Unfortunately, the big C threw a monkey wrench into all production, but you best believe my procrastinating, stoner ass finally finished something I’ve had literally nothing but time to complete. Only a shade over six hours behind schedule! Happy #420 if you chose to celebrate. R.I.P. David Bowie. . . . #barstoolsports #music #davidbowie #weirdal #starman #ziggystardust #bobmarley #cypresshill #cheechandchong #tiktok #DIY #gratefuldead #Imadethis #stoned #baked #high #zoot #reefer #pot #grass #weed #legalzieit #norml @pot_brothers_at_law @natlnorml @barstoolsports #HireDozo

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Apr 20, 2020 at 3:15pm PDT

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In a special non-football, pop-up video edition of the All 22 I break down my 1997 appearance on The @rosie O’Donnell show. If you’d like to see the unaltered footage it’s available on my YouTube channel: dozonlife If you’re interested in learning more about my story and appearance on the show please read the #HireDozo Manifesto. It’s pinned to my Twitter @ dozonlife . . . #Rosie #rosieodonnellshow #NBC #tbt #TV #1997 #wannabe #macdemarco #innercircle #villagepeople #badboys #spicegirls #YMCA #madden #NFL #PS4 #DIY #instagram #imadethis #vh1 #parodylaw #nathanforyou #ITYSL #barstoolsports #HIREDOZO @barstoolsports @stoolpresidente @ekanardini @barstoolbigcat @kfcbarstool

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 26, 2020 at 3:31pm PDT

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