DozOnLife
  • Blogs
    • Sports
    • Music
    • TV
    • Movies
    • Advice
    • Everything Else
  • About
  • Contact

I Ate #43Burgers And Lived To Tell The Tale #HireDozo

3/18/2020

0 Comments

 

The first time you watch 2 girls 1 cup pic.twitter.com/wX912Otozy

— JAA (@JakeAus) March 12, 2020
Picture
To say life comes at you fast would be an understatement of the century, given the current status of the world. Two weeks ago, life was simple.  I was showing up to work everyday, contemplating eating 43 McDonald's hamburgers to get some Barstool eyes on DOL. Just livin'. Today I am finally getting a chance to recap everything that went down leading up to Burger Day (3/7/2020) and the days since in the middle of a Wednesday since schools are shutdown due to a world-wide pandemic. 

I guess we should start at the beginning.

On March 2nd, 2020 the prospect of Dave "El Pres" Portnoy eating 43 Burgers for his 43rd birthday arose on Picks Central (a barstool radio show).

Just weeks before his 43rd birthday, @stoolpresidente couldn’t be more confident about his ability to eat 43 burgers in 12 hours...

(McD’s hamburger + bun + ketchup) pic.twitter.com/J9i40ubmd4

— Viva La Stool (@VivaLaStool) March 2, 2020

The look on @Glenny_balls face, when asked if he can eat 43 burgers in 12 hours, is pure disgust @pickscentral pic.twitter.com/v7NqKewQrN

— Barstool Radio (@BarstoolRadio) March 2, 2020
This all was tied into Dave's 43rd birthday and the upcoming "Good Vibes Only" tour for March Madness. Remember that? It shows you how much the world has changed these last two weeks. Another excuse why I haven't been able to write this blog until now!

After weighing the pros and cons with friends, family and my mental health professional, I decided I would attempt this challenge.  The goal was simple; use my evil "talent" that's normally reserved for my driver seat or bedroom for good in hopes of getting eyeballs on my blog, my writing, my social media and of course myself. I have plenty of experience in food challenges.
View this post on Instagram

In 2007 #tbt I attempted to eat a 28 inch pizza for $300, a bottle of booze (I was 15) and a speaker system for a car I did not yet own. This was not planned at all that night, as I tried after already eating dinner. I still ate over half the pizza in 11 minutes and got further than any competitor did before me. Aka I LOST. . . . SATURDAY MARCH 7 I will not lose. I will be eating 43 McDonald’s Hamburgers in honor of @stoolpresidente’s 43rd birthday on March 22nd in a test of my will and waistline. Nobody wants to work for Barstool more than I do. I have no other choice to tackle this challenge head on . . . #HireDozo #barstoolsports #Food #43Burgers #itdbearealshameifthiskilledme #DOL

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 5, 2020 at 8:42am PST


I've been saying for years how much I want towork for Barstool.  No need to fluff this blog with all the backstory, but I often lay in bed at night thinking about how I haven't truly done all I could. You can always put in more effort. I grind, but I'm human. I have flaws. I can do nothing for hours and be completely content. I know could write more than I do,  I look back at times when my depression was at it's worse where I barely wrote. I get mad at myself for not "powering through", when we all know sometimes it's just not possible. I've just been really apprehensive to put myself out there in fear of the effects on my actual paying job. For me, substitute teaching is a living hell, but it's a hell I to endure with.  Gotta be able to afford to survive.  Plus the flexibility it gives me while I pursue my Barstool dream makes getting harassed by 13 year olds all worth it. The whole "one leg in the teacher pants, one leg in the blogger (jogger) pants" thing was making it impossible for me truly succeed at either. I've known for a long time that teaching is not how I want to make a living. I've lived scared. I haven't taken the necessary risks in life to get where I want to go. 27+ years of that playbook wasn't working. It's time to implement a new system. 

That's when I dropped this video on my IG (@dozonlife). Most of this was filmed in the parking lot of my therapist's office because I just went straight from work and had 45ish minutes to kill while I waited. 2010-19 Dozo would've just taken a nap or fucked around on his phone.
View this post on Instagram

I’m going to attempt (successfully) to eat 43 McDonald’s HAMburgers on Saturday March 7th, 2020 from Noon to Midnight in honor of @stoolpresidente’s 43rd birthday (March 22nd) and the #HireDozo movement. All are welcome to witness history. Via @dozonlife social & IRL in the great state of Rhode Island . . . #HireDozo #barstoolsports #foodie #fitnessvegan #McDonalds #wackarnoldsistearingthisfamilyapart @pardonmytake @barstoolsports @vivalastool @ekanardini @barstoolbigcat @kfcbarstool @jaredcarrabis @feitelberg @stoolsalesguy @smittybarstool @pftcommenter @henrylockwood1 @mariaciuffo @francescamariano @ellie_schnitt @bwalkersec @unclechaps

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 3, 2020 at 7:11pm PST

You can see how good I was looking when I was chowing that first practice burg. The damage I've done to my physical appearance from these burgers/days afterwards is no bueno.  
After that there was no turning back. I was all in. It's crazy to think where my week went. I had just started the shakes again to lose the Christmas/Patriots wild card round loss weight I gained after my cleanse ended in mid-December that very morning. I was debating between taking my lunch shake or just starting to train that day. I had kept saying I was going to start back up and would keep pushing it back. 

My battle food/weight/me is something I've very open about. I'm sure there were lots of people confused why the hell I was putting myself through this sort of potential health risk/physical pain? Especially after how vocal I've been in the past.

Two words: Calculated risk.

​
So by the 4th it was settled. I was doing this thing.  With multiple days to plan I figured it wouldn't be that big of a deal. I eat, we film it and put it online. Not exactly rocket science. Boy was I wrong. It wasn't a failure by any means, but I just think there was so much more stuff we could've done had there been an ounce of planning. I fucked up big time with organization. We should've had every burger in a thread on twitter. Oh well. Learning curve!

The chaos made the day fun. I cannot thank the people who came out to watch enough. It's wild to think people would actually dedicate put of their Saturday to watch me to do this. A lot were friends, a few were family, but there was a decent chunk of people I've never met before in my friend Sean's house watching me shovel burgers down my throat. Fucking wild! They all helped make the day what it was. I wouldn't have been able to do it with out them.

An even bigger thanks goes to my friends who actually helped make this day happen. Those who filmed, held things, got me water, laughed at shitty jokes, didn't leave after I projectiled on a burger and ate it (after rinsing it off), helped get the burgers, let me go to their house/bar and other things I'm surely forgetting as I try to finish this blog by the time CCK starts to finally follow up Jake's call. 
The organization could've been better. I wish I could just post burgers 1-43 but the reality is I ate every single one of those burgers. Here's the incomplete countdown!
View this post on Instagram

My biggest regret apart from actually consuming #43burgers is the lack of organization; although that’s what made the day fun! In this video we count from 1-43 using mostly sports/music references (obvi) with a few missing because they aren’t entertaining/ are lost to the annals of time. Enjoy! . . . #43Burgers #HireDozo #barstoolsports @barstoolsports @stoolpresidente

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 13, 2020 at 7:26am PDT

Most of the day we were at my best friend/ebro Sean's house. Without him the day would not have been possible. He will receive just compensation when I make it. Thank you Seanny for the 34820380284th time. Danielle is in the same boat. They deserve at least 5% of the credit ;)

After picking up the burgers around 11:45 am we drove back to Sean's to start crushing at high noon. I started eating burgers 1 and 2 the moment my car clock struck noon. I had two burgers (4.65% of the challenge) down before even leaving my vehicle.  This was filmed shortly after I got inside, just posted a little later.

And we’re off @DozonLife #43burgers pic.twitter.com/xUPH2QO5Ub

— Danielle (@somejawn401) March 7, 2020

His strategy? Plain burgers, add sauces from chick fil a and Taco Bell pic.twitter.com/iQ9YZcvWMy

— Danielle (@somejawn401) March 7, 2020
Sriracha was my worst call of the day. I don't know wtf I was thinking? Actually yes I do; I've watched A LOTTTT of Man V. Food over the years. It used to be on Netflix a few years back.  Adam Richman said in challenges like this it's important to keep your pallet entertained. I figured it'd help break up the dryness. 
​
For burgers 11-14 we went to the Ocean Mist.
View this post on Instagram

The team traveled throughout the crust of southern Rhode Island on this glorious day of Leslie Chowing. Burgers 11-14 brought us to my favorite beach bar, O-Mist to not so secretly knock off 9.3% of the day’s □ . . . □ “Riptide” Vance Joy; “Girls” The 1975 □ . . . #43Burgers #HireDozo #barstoolsports #DOL #omist #omistbingo #washisnamo #burgers #mcdonalds #tombrady #tb12 #stevegrogan #VanceJoy #The1975 @ekanardini @stoolpresidente @barstoolbigcat @feitelberg @brendanclancy @kfcbarstool @calebpressley @unclechaps @theclemreport l

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 9, 2020 at 7:52pm PDT

I still can't believe that old guy reading the paper.  Talk about not giving a fuck. There's literally two dozen people around you screaming at some fat fuck loser eating cold burgers and he just kept reading the paper. Outside on a windy day mind you! Elite IDGAFness from that guy. I said something to him at one point and he didn't even give me the time of day. Just kept reading. Unreal.
At this point in the day I had gone from an amazing pace (10 burgers in 1:17) to four burgers in about two hours. Your boy was slowing down for sure. As I write this and try to recap that day in my mind it's really hard to remember every burger. I had less than 3 drinks throughout the day and did take like 4 hits from the end of a joint because nobody wanted to hit it after me (understandable), but I was in a haze. I was food drunk. So much stuff was going on, thank God for video. 
Burgers 20-21 are where the Kobayashi method was implemented to help me gain a little of the momentum I had to start the day. It helped! (sorry the footage is so shitty)
View this post on Instagram

Sorry for such horrible quality via a screen recording of my Twitter. Currently at 21 and feeling okay. This is a complete shitshow organization-wise but we wouldn’t have it any other way. Hand up ?‍♂️ that’s on me. Figured you just film a big boi crushing and post it. About to go live for 22 and 23 in a few. Thanks for all the support so far from everybody. Read a blog! Share your favorite in the comments love you all #hiredozo #43burgers #barstoolsports @barstoolsports @stoolpresidente

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 7, 2020 at 2:56pm PST

This is when we realized just save every live and post later. Would've been much easier to do this from the jump instead of having to screen grab videos.
Picking up burgers 26-35.
View this post on Instagram

Little behind the scenes of #43Burgers. They don’t just show up! This was our second burger pick up the day aka my first “fresh” burgs since about 12:07. We got the first 20 at 11:45~ and 5 were donated by my cousins. Here’s what went down when we picked up 26-35. . . . #barstoolsports #HireDozo #43Burgers @barstoolsports @stoolpresidente

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 11, 2020 at 7:16am PDT

My Instagram live of burger #30.

27-29 is my favorite footage of the entire day, so of course that's one that IG took down for copyright infringement despite clear use of parody law. I will find a way to post it and add it to this blog in post.
View this post on Instagram

Highlights include! -13 Going on 30 (2004) -Tim Tebow -McDonalds -Body Positivity? -Pop Sockets and the difficulty of life without one . . . #43Burgers #HireDozo #barstoolsports @barstoolsports @stoolpresidente #DIY #imadethis

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 11, 2020 at 1:33pm PDT

Burger 33
View this post on Instagram

33 #43Burgers #HireDozo

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 7, 2020 at 5:25pm PST

We went back to McDonald's to grab the final Burgers then bounced around a party, Sean's and a bar to finish the night. 
Burger 39
View this post on Instagram

#HireDozo #43Burgers @barstoolsports

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 7, 2020 at 7:28pm PST

Burger 42
View this post on Instagram

ONE LEFT! #43Burgers #HireDozo @barstoolbigcat @stoolpresidente @kfcbarstool @barstoolsports

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 7, 2020 at 8:04pm PST

Burger 43!
View this post on Instagram

After nearly 12 hours of chowing, I finished Burger 43 of the #43Burgers challenge while serenading the Pelly’s crowd with Huey Lewis and The New’s “If This Is It” (1984; peak billboard position #6) . . #HireDozo #BarstoolSports @barstoolradio @barstoolsports @vivalastool @stoolpresidente @ekanardini @barstoolbigcat @kfcbarstool #DOL

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 8, 2020 at 1:01pm PDT

#43burgers ! He did it! https://t.co/w4tN9QuQwu

— Danielle (@somejawn401) March 8, 2020
I finished up at my local watering hole; Pelly's Place for Burger 43. It was amazing. I was actually going to finish. When I wasn't even at 20 I felt like the odds were against me. Just the type competitor I am, I suppose? I would not have made it through the day without music!!! Burger 7 is all-time.
View this post on Instagram

I (poorly) sang my way through #43burgers. I would not have been able to complete this disgusting feat of gluttony without music (and the support/love of far toooo many people to name) More videos to come throughout the week! Love you Mom! â–¡ . . . #43Burgers #HireDozo #DOL #barstoolsports #food #music #tameimpala #florenceandthemachine #21savage #bluestraveler #hueylewisandthenews @barstoolsports @stoolpresidente

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 8, 2020 at 7:48pm PDT

Last Wednesday my buddy called into CCK on Barstool Radio to talk about the challenge. 

BIGGEST OF UPS to @JakeAus for calling into @BarstoolRadio to discuss #43Burgers on #CCK. Yeah I puked; then I rinsed that shit off and kept going!!! All #43Burgers vids are on my IG!!! #HireDozo pic.twitter.com/4u6hfMnNou

— Doz (very niche!) #hiredozo (@DozonLife) March 11, 2020
Kayce was not a fan of the Doz man!!

I just don't know if I'm impressed with or terrified of you. â–¡

— Kayce Smith (@KayceSmith) March 11, 2020
I am going to attempt to call into CCK today. I tried last week, but that whole sports stopping/pandemic thing sort of took the wind out of my sails. Felt like a bad time to call and be like hey guys did you see me eat 11,000 calories?
View this post on Instagram

An assortment of bloopers/tongue ties/history lessons from the day of 43 burgers. I’m still going through all the footage expect more videos to come. Enjoy! #43Burgers #HireDozo #Imadethis #DIY #BODYPOSI #burger #mcdonalds #fastfood #fat @ekanardini @kfcbarstool @brendanclancy @barstoolbigcat @twistedhistory @everybody

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 11, 2020 at 10:38am PDT

View this post on Instagram

#BurgerQuilt #43Burgers #HireDozo #barstoolsports #Imadethis @barstoolsports @stoolpresidente

A post shared by Ole Dozo (@dozonlife) on Mar 8, 2020 at 4:00pm PDT

Was it worth it? We'll find out. My IG has gained nearly 100 followers. This blog still needs a little TLC, but I'm going to try to call into CCK rn and need this posted. #HireDozo

At the very least they know my name!

Apparently this cat Dozo @DozonLife did the 43 burgees challenge. All the videos are on his IG. https://t.co/HLFMLv8c08

— KFC (@KFCBarstool) March 8, 2020

43 burgers and one Smirnoff ice* pic.twitter.com/2KPczOzQjW

— Stephen Lambert (@StephenLambert) March 8, 2020
P.S.


​I LOVE THIS GUY

Y’all gotta hire this guy, Clancy. Had no clue who he was, but I spent my entire Saturday basically watching him. He’s a content factory, fucking hilarious.

— Jared Schappert (@JaredSchappert) March 8, 2020
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    October 2024
    September 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Blogs
    • Sports
    • Music
    • TV
    • Movies
    • Advice
    • Everything Else
  • About
  • Contact