Before today, I hadn't written on DOL since February 27th, which looks much worse than it is since February is so fucking short, but I am pumped to be back. My mom was in town for her 60th, and it was a jam-packed week. I missed writing and had a solid February from a production standpoint after a slow start to 2023. I only wrote 18 blogs in January and more than doubled that in Feb with 39.
I still want to write for Barstool more than almost anything in life and know that I'd fucking thrive there, but I'm also getting to a point where I must accept that that dream may never come true. As long as I'm breathing, I'll never give up. I'm gaining more of my confidence back every day and am so excited about what's in store for me this year.
I stay getting in my head, and my lack of conventional success sometimes (every day) makes me wonder if I actually suck at this thing, but I refuse to believe that. I sometimes miss typos in the editing process (even in the Grammarly era), but I have a good voice. People have reached out about my writing in the past. I've just done a poor job marketing DOL, and the written word is one of the most challenging mediums to go "viral" in as an unknown in today's world.
I haven't even gotten to the whole reason I'm writing this particular blog, so let's get to the facts. I am currently in Twitter jail. I was sentenced Sunday morning after suggesting that Michael Knowles have a bullet for lunch after having the balls to lash out at Rolling Stone for covering his trans-genocide diatribe. Since I can't embed tweets as part of my sentencing, here's me speaking the truth in a tweet that did not get me in any trouble. Fuck Michael Knowles & anybody who supports him and that hateful ideology.
I fucking love sports and comedy and everything that DOL is all about, but I also love freedom, and that hallmark of American life is under attack from far-right extremists. I will never stop speaking my mind and sticking up for what I believe is right. I'd rather never "make it" being true to myself than reach the levels of success I dream about by compromising who I am.
To say I've grown throughout DOL's seven-plus years would be the understatement of the day. There was a time not all that long ago when I openly bashed "SJWs" or anybody who cared about anything. I was like the all too many ignorant people who refused to believe there were still real social issues in this country because they weren't affecting me firsthand. I slowly lost my identity and beliefs from trying to get approval from others. I'm super ashamed of who I used to be, but I'm no longer hiding from it. I had a brief encounter with conservativism. It's gross, but I went from the left to "moderate" before taking a sharp left back into the right side (the left) after some much-needed life experience outside of my hometown. It's all part of my journey as a human, and I'm far from a finished product. I still have a long way to go in becoming the person I want to be, but I can proudly say here today, on March 6th, 2023, that I am happy with who I am (from a non-physical standpoint, but that's going in the right direction too!).
As a depression guy, I know you shouldn't tell people to kill themselves, but I also feel like you also shouldn't openly advocate for the eradication of a population just because you don't understand them or feel threatened by their existence even though they're not a threat to you in the slightest. I've said it a million times, but let me be clear Dozie stands with the trans community. Rhonda Sandtits will make her debut on stage once I'm back in the 200s. There's tons shit I don't get/understand too, but it doesn't stop me from giving people the basic respect and dignity they deserve. I used to think the they thing was stupid, but if that's who you believe you are. Fucking go for it. There are literally billions of more important things to get worked up about.
I don't know if you've been paying attention to what's going on in red states right now, but there's a full-fledged war on history, reality, the black community, women, queer people, and the LGBTQ+ population (just to name a few examples) by the love thy neighbor crowd and it's both terrifying and exhausting. It's one of my biggest concerns in life rn. You are free to believe in whatever you want, but when your beliefs start impeding on the lives of others, you're in the wrong. The craziest thing is I have a tiny bit of experience in the church and know enough about Christianity to see how these awful interpretations of words written by MAN are fucking up the world for everybody. From what I know about that interpretation of God, he loves all his children and it's not their job to determine who is and isn't worthy of life and civil rights.
Gun to my head, I believe in God. I hope there's a higher power; I really do. I'm just also super skeptical, given the state of the world and how awful people can be to each other. I know there's the whole "free will" argument, and that's why the world is how it is because God supposedly won't interfere with us because it defeats the entire purpose or some shit, but far-right Christians are the fucking worst. It's not all Christians. There are plenty of normal, accepting, loving Christians who actually follow Jesus's teachings. I love those people. They're cool in my book (as long as the right hasn't burnt it yet). Those are good people. It's your Fox News, MAGA, AR-15 Jesus, fascist sympathizer Christians who need to fucking go. That goes for every religion or group of people. Like most Muslims are good people, but the ones who wear suicide vests at malls or hijack airplanes are horrible ones who deserve the hate and ridicule they receive. It's the same for those Christians or fill in the name/group. I know Christians on the right love to act like they're persecuted and their way of life is under attack, but that's a bigger crock of shit than Ms. Cleo (what a timely reference by your boiiii). You can believe what you want, but it doesn't mean you can use your religion as a get-out of racism/sexism/homophobia/transphobia, etc. jail free card (even though multiple fascist states are working to make that perfectly legal).
The funny thing is, if I had to put a label on my religious identity, I'd say Christian, but I prefer to call it a relationship with God. I don't need to go to fucking church or even read the Bible. I've been praying before bed again for the past yearish (as the old saying goes, "there are no atheists in Foxholes or when you're morbidly obese and think you're dying every night"). But the way some people are with religion is so fucking cringe. Again, I'm still skeptical AF. I hope there's a higher power, but I wouldn't be shocked if I find out there's nothing after I'm dead. Side note: If it were up to me for best case scenario of what the after-life is I'd want to keep getting reincarnated as different people (maybe animals too) life that life, die, and repeat until the end of time, then officially have heaven once the Earth explodes and start all over again.
This blog could be profound or terrible, but I don't care. Twitter is fucking toxic. Elon ruined it. Not being able to tweet every thought I have and like 4000 tweets a day for a few days may be precisely what I need to get my TikTok and other ideas going. I've been on Twitter in some capacity since 2009 and have little "success" to show for it (even though I created @URIprobs). But on the Tok, I've gotten more traction. I know the numbers aren't the same, and I joke about going baby viral when my MTG video got 10.2K likes before it got removed. Still, the way people consume media is changing. Maybe my written words have been arranged in a way that isn't good enough to create a livable income for me and hopefully a wife and 2.5 kids someday, as the ole American Dream promises.
Now that I can't tweet until someday next Sunday, I can spend my time more productively chasing my career and life goals. While my mom was in town, she and one of my aunts helped me bring my room from 17-year-old swag to 31 but still fun. I only got to the gym twice last week, which is my worst week since I started going again on November 7th, but I'm gonna get back into the swing of things this week. What I'm trying to say in this ramble that I'm trying to finish before my shrink appointment (editor's note: I did not) is that I'm done half-stepping. I'm not gonna put things out there (intentionally) that get me thrown in internet time out. This isn't my first time in the Twitter sin bin. I did a 12-hour bid in 2021 after J6 for bashing fascists.
FTR, I wrote everything above this line before 1 pm when I had therapy, then I ended up on another call for almost an hour. I really wanted to get this out before then, but I was in the zone, and then BAM, I saw it was 12:58 and had to stop because my session was about to start. There's a great chance that nobody is out there thinking like, "Dozie posted the SOD three hours ago; where's the next blog?" but in reality, I actually wrote today's SOD at like 2 am and just posted it once I officially started my day and began typing away at this piece. I'm well over 1500 words by now, so I'm gonna wrap shit up, but what I'm tryna say here is I do not regret what I said. It's not bigotry to hate bigots. Also—Elon is ruining Twitter. I thought you could say anything, but I guess you can't give lunch recommendations anymore. I'm gonna make the most of my time away from the cesspool and continue to move forward in every possible way. Despite how scary things are with legitimate concerns of fascism in this country, I cannot reiterate enough have happy I currently am with how things are going in my life.
I am so excited about what's next. I still have a lot of household stuff to do today, so idk how prolific today will be from a writing standpoint, but since I'm gonna be off the bird, please be sure to stay up to date with my TikTok and IG. I'm gonna be using those a lot more this week. Eventually, I'll send in some writing samples to Barstool. Big things are coming (while I get smaller). I cannot wait for whatever's next. I'm so happy to be truly living again. For a minute there (try low-key three years), I lost myself.
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