Your boi is still riding Higher than Scott Stapp in 1999 after last night's record-setting performance in a very special 50th episode of #DozVsTheDozen. No spoilers, but I started out hotter than Heather Graham in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.
I guess we're really honing in 1999 references today? You never know where the keyboard will take you! I feel like I've used that line about my girl HG before, but that's okay. One, she's perfect, and two, comedians don't have entirely new sets at every show. Plus, as a 30-year-old man, Felicity Shagwell played a significant role in my character development.
But back to the matter at hand, I'm going to get way too distracted thinking about Heather Graham if I don't get back into what this blog is truly about: my INCREDIBLE performance in a very special 50th episode extravaganza. No spoilers, but we had a 10/10 start for Ole Dozie!!! If this were Beer Pong, the other team would've never gotten a chance to shoot.
Many are saying it's fate that I put up such an impressive performance the day before Barstool announced Barstool Idol 3, and I agree with all those people! #HireDozo
I started writing this blog as a preview for tonight's match, but apparently, there is no match tonight. Instead, we've got a double-header tomorrow. Hand up; I missed that IRT when I looked at the graphic.
That gives you plenty of time to watch, like, and subscribe, then watch more of my videos and follow that pattern. Can we please pad the stats one time for the boi?