The internet is an awful place, full of truly terrifying things. One minute you're looking up "what was the Billboard Song of the Year for 1971?" and before you end up on "Joy to the World" by Three Dog Night's wikipedia page, you somehow have learned everything there is to know about D.B. Cooper.
From all my time on the internet, I have learned many things, but you can set your watch to these three being true, according to said internet.
1. Dogs are more important than humans.
2. Onlyfans will quickly teach you the value of a dollar better than an economics class.
3. NBA Twitter HATES the Boston Celtics like poison.
Knowing those facts are vital for navigating the inter-web successfully if you're under 35 years old. If you are ever feeling really low about yourself and need validation; just tweet about how much you love dogs or hate the Celtics and you're sure to get a handful of likes from strangers online.
I am a big believer in self-awareness. I think it's paramount for a successful life. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses in certain situations can make or break you. You don't jump in the deep end if you can't swim. You never want to be a stereotype that someone sees in the wild. FOR EXAMPLE; I'm a fat guy. Now that it's getting a little colder, I know the amount of days I have left where exposed calves are socially acceptable are dwindling. I don't want to perpetuate any stereotypes that fatties wear shorts all winter long, so I consciously avoid doing so; even if I do have killer calves from supporting the rest of my body that shouldn't have to be put in a cage for winter.
In a similar boat, since I'm a Celtics fan, I know I'm already walking on thin ice by simply existing. NBA Twitter has made thousands of people rich by bashing the C's. Paul Pierce gets more shit than a Port-A-Potty at a State Fair. The 2008 Celtics are universally hated online.
I don't want Lebron Stans to chase me with their bitchforks, so I don't bring up the fact that the Big 3 Celtics directly lead to Lebron leaving Cleveland because they still have the tr**p card. Lebron Stans will just throw Game 6 of the 2012 Eastern Conference Finals (or Game 7 of the 2018 ECF) in my face so hard that my orbital bone would shatter.
Like I was saying, you gotta be self-aware, but being aware of your surroundings may be even more important. You wouldn't play "Tubthumping" at a widows of 9/11 support group, just like you wouldn't compare Gordon Hayward returning from a month long ankle injury for Game 3 of the 2020 Eastern Conference Finals to an injured soldier coming home from war. Yet here we are.
I am not joking when I say this "meme" or whatever the fuck you want to call it set Celtics fans back GENERATIONS.
I'm shocked that post isn't a creation of Bleacher Report.
The fact that thing survived (at least) 7 hours on the internet before being taken down blows my little mind. I deleted an on-purpose ugly selfie after five minutes because people didn't understand the art behind it. This thing is just so incredibly absurd that I almost have to believe it's a parody in itself, but after looking at the Facebook Page "Celtics Nation" and the type of posts you'll find there, I can confidently say there was zero irony here.
Let's quickly break down how ridiculous this post is. We'll start from the literal top.
1. "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing!"
Watch Vince Lombardi: A Football Life one time for me!!!
With Lombardi's recanting of that statement, the NBA's spotlight on social justice since the restart, the west coast still on fire and democracy on the brink, I think the fact that this is only a game and entertainment has never been more clear. I can almost give the creator a pass for using this quote since it's a sports page and most people don't know Lombardi's true feelings on his most famous quote.
2. Photoshopping Gordon Hayward's face onto a man in Army Fatigues IN A WHEEL CHAIR.
Even in today's chill-ass political climate, stolen valor is one of the quickest ways to end up pissing everybody off.
Unless you count his days playing tennis, Gordon Hayward has never served a day in his life. The creator of this meme not only used a picture of Gordo where he looks like Christopher McCandless' final photo..
..but (s)he also had to search the internet for the perfect parapalgic Army Vet to paste Gordo's blank stare onto atop of what appears to be a Celtics-Pelicans game from like 2016 and never stopped to think "ahh, maybe I don't need to do this?"
I don't know if this is supposed to be an homage to Paul Pierce or if someone really thinks the loudest 3/4/3/3/1 is NBA history on par with defending our nation?
One thing is clear. You should never willingly directly hand someone fuel to pour on the "this is why people hate you" fire. Celtics Nation on Facebook did just that with the most cringeworthy sports related "meme" of 2020. As a C's fan I am ashamed, this is why people hate us (totally nothing to do with the media's portrayal of Boston as the most racist city in America when the south exists). If the Celtics win Game 4, I am fully expecting to see Jaylen Brown dapping up Martin Luther King, Jr in Supreme and AirPods at the March on Washington from the Facebook Page "Celtics Nation".