I haven’t watched much baseball since its return a few days ago. Ya boi is metaphorically living on the roads and literally too heartbroken over the Mookie situation to watch America’s Pastime. (As I wrote this blog on my phone with my molasses-top open in front of me of course this popped up on my shuffle screensaver. Am I really gonna have to delete everything like a break up because seeing this makes me want to cry)
I really do love the game. There’s so many great things about it. Admittedly, part of me hates that I’m letting the awful things get the best of me. But you didn’t click for that; nobody wants to hear that shit rn and I sure as heck don’t want to get all sad going down that path about what trading Mookie Betts truly represents. I want to be happy before I go to bed in three hours, so back to the incident that originally made my inner J.D. voice be like “yo Dozie, just because your laptop is trying to destroy your dreams doesn’t mean you can’t blog on your phone about how fucking awesome Joe Kelly is.”
I could’ve sworn I wrote a blog called “Joe Kelly is a Rockstar” after he won the hearts of Red Sox fans in 2018 season when he hit some no -name Yankee catcher who actually two first names; Tyler Austin. Hence the title. I was going to link it here too. I had the whole blog mapped in my clouded mind. Now I’m in a real pickle as I cannot find that in the archives and already have this as my title because I had to create a new blog in my browser in order to edit it on the much easier to use weebly app. (It makes ZERO sense why you can’t start a post from the app). Any who, nearly all the baseball I’ve seen in 2020 has been via twitter and boy oh boy did baseball twitter have its first big moment of 2020 when Joe Kelly did this.
It was fucking awesome. That pout. Instant meme! I can’t lie, it made me miss baseball and baseball twitter like crazy. Looks like I still got it thoooo; peep those like numbers.
What’s wrong with baseball is Joe Kelly’s lack of control and abundance of heart, humor and hubris costing him over 13% of the season. Come on, Manfred. Are you actively trying to be the worst commish since Landis?
I haven’t said this in a blog in a minute; mainly because I’ve matured and evolved at how I look at things (nbd), but you want to talk about soft?Suspending someone 8 games for mocking CHEATERS and giving baseball attention it desperately needs right now is asinine and incredibly soft. Protect the bad guys, and punish the good. Where else have I heard that before?
The dude didn’t actually hit anybody and wasn’t even ejected from the game. That’s worth 8 games?!!? What are we doin? We need to be thinking on a Covid scale. If anything, his “offense” is worth nothing more than a few innings. “Joe Kelly is not allowed to open any games for like a week.” Now that would be fair! Unless, that ridiculous of a suspension was intentional to get people riled up and talking about it more; especially with Joe Kelly appealing, but I don’t think MLB is smart enough to do that. I think it’s more about being embarrassed and just wanting the Astros shit to go away. Making an example of someone who is definitely not on drugs seems to be targeting a free thinking, free spirit. 
I thought the C word might be a blessing in disguise for the Astros, but it looks like a pandemic (and likely a lot of edibles) didn’t cause Joe Kelly to forget that the Stros hit like .709 as a team in games 1 and 2 of the 2017 ALDS in Houston. Not so fun fact; Joe Kelly won the Red Sox lone victory in that series. Meanwhile the Astros were banging on a trash can like Doug & The Beets en route to a World Series title.
How did Joe Kelly respond to his suspension? (This is the entire reason I wrote this blog) 
I fucking LOVE IT. Joe Kelly, I still love you. I am all for this new era of player empowerment. It may only last a few more days since the Marlins are about to get this shit shut down like Taffer in a Tucson rodeo themed bar with a broken ice machine, but alas, I am here for it as long as it lasts. NBA comes back (technically today) next. I love the players being able to put messages on their jerseys. Wish they could put whatever they want, but gotta walk before you march I suppose.
The hashtags are awesome. Even though this account isn’t verified; I’m pretty sure it’s him. (Editors Note: it’s not; but let’s pretend). If it’s not I’ve already gone too deep and this is incredibly awesome photo that needs to be shared by the loyal DOL readers. I hate the Astros and do not need to go full butterfly effect of how the 2017 postseason may have gone differently if they weren’t cheating at home. Maybe Mo..okay goodnight! P.S. I hate that I’ve written like 6 blogs since I got back on the roads, but daddie dozo’s gotta get the bread while it’s out there. Hope I don’t have Covid, but at least if I do and get that early check out I won’t have to keep seeing God Damn picture of Mookie pop up. 
Double P.S.
Like Mookie, Joe looked much better in red! (R.I.P. Doc & to a much lesser extend the XFL) 
Triple P.S.
I loveeee this meme.
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