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Mr. Potato Head Brand is Dropping the "Mr." and If That Genuinely Bothers You; You're a Fucking LOSAAAAAAHH!

2/25/2021

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Some days I stress myself into a panic trying to figure out what topic(s) I'm going to blog after wasting another day of my life not writing for Barstool Sports as a long-term substitute in one of the worst school districts in America. Today was not one of those days.

​The Mr. Potato Head brand will soon be known as simply "Potato Head."

​Twitter:

via GIPHY

Frankly, the timing of this story breaking less than a day after an elected congressperson with her pea-size brain and catcher's mask face spread bigotry and pseudoscience throughout the Capitol across the hall from the mother of trans kid is nothing short of predominant.

"Trust the science" pic.twitter.com/OGk3HEbqas

— B.W. Carlin (@BaileyCarlin) February 25, 2021
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Marjorie Taylor Greene is a lunatic whose butt hurt there are millions of trans woman that are more beautiful than her catcher’s mask face lookin ass

— Doz #hiredozo (@DozonLife) February 25, 2021
Now, there's no denying this whole story of the Potato Heads was confusing AF at first because the media coverage made it seem like Hasbro was killing off Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head like it's 1840's Ireland for a gender-neutral they/them Potato.

Admittedly, this annoyed me at first, too; I was like, there's no reason to get rid of them to create a non-binary potato; why can't they all coexist? Plus, I knew it was ammunition for the right to complain and deny humans equal rights as "woke overkill" by a fucking toy company. 

There HAS TO be a middle ground between MTG and getting rid of the Mr. in Mr. Potato Head.

— Doz #hiredozo (@DozonLife) February 25, 2021
A much better tweet.

Fox News executives are pumped. This Potato Head story gives them six months of content. https://t.co/9JHopBj2su

— Adam Best (@adamcbest) February 25, 2021
But then, after figuratively an ounce of research, the move actually makes a tot of sense. Before, a Mrs. Potato Head was a "Mrs. Potato Head-Mr. Potato Head" doll. Super wordy and unnecessary, like a lot of my paragraphs. Trim that fat! Now they're both just Potato Heads and have much more fun and vibrant packaging.​
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Hasbro then made it clear that Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head aren't going anywhere; the brand is just dropping the "Mr." to become simply "Potato Head."
via: Hasbro
​

Hasbro is officially renaming the MR. POTATO HEAD brand to POTATO HEAD to better reflect the full line. But rest assured, the iconic MR. and MRS. POTATO HEAD characters aren’t going anywhere and will remain MR. and MRS. POTATO HEAD.

Launching this Fall, the CREATE YOUR POTATO HEAD FAMILY is a celebration of the many faces of families allowing kids to imagine and create their own Potato Head family with 2 large potato bodies, 1 small potato body, and 42 accessories. The possibilities to create your own families are endless with mixing and mashing all the parts and pieces.

CREATE YOUR POTATO HEAD FAMILY is compatible with most standard Potato Head offerings and is a great addition to your Potato Head collection for kids ages 2 and up.
​
Potato Head has provided endless creative possibilities to our preschoolers for almost 70 years and will continue to do so with the new CREATE YOUR POTATO HEAD FAMILY.

Hold that Tot – your main spud, MR. POTATO HEAD isn’t going anywhere! While it was announced today that the POTATO HEAD brand name & logo are dropping the ‘MR.’ I yam proud to confirm that MR. & MRS. POTATO HEAD aren’t going anywhere and will remain MR. & MRS. POTATO HEAD pic.twitter.com/6I84KrxOLQ

— Hasbro (@Hasbro) February 25, 2021
​
This really is a fucking genius move by Hasbro. I'm proud of this Rhode Island company!! Unless you've watched one of the four Toy Story's recently, when was the last time you thought about a Mr. or Mrs. Potato Head doll? 
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I can't even remember the last time I saw one in real life. Now they're gonna sell sooooo many goT damn potatoes.

No one's given two shits about Mr. Potato Head in years. This is truly the 5D chess that gets someone in marketing a corner office.

— Dave Schilling (@dave_schilling) February 25, 2021
I used to be someone who didn't understand the differences between sex and gender. I thought there were only two genders, and I was ignorant in my ways. Gender is all about identity and expression, not genitalia, and I am a personal freedom guy, so do you. Men, women, and everything in between should be able to live how they want. My stance has always been as long as you aren't hurting other people, do whatever the fuck you want. If not identifying as a man or woman will make you happier and a more productive human-being, I say go for it. Love, Dozo (he/him)

Maybe the problem is many people haven't been exposed to trans/non-binary people before (or at least you didn't know) in real life? Cause if you have and still decide to treat them as subhuman, you're garbage. I've had trans and non-binary students before. One time when I was subbing, I had a transgender student whose (who's?) name hadn't been updated on the roster, so I used her old name during attendance because it was my first time in this class; how tf was I supposed to know? I felt so shitty that I actually complained to the school to fix that so it wouldn't happen again (hashtag good guy). I currently have a non-binary student who prefers us to use they/them pronouns. Since I'm a halfway decent person, I respect that. Do I understand how tf that actually works from a grammatical standpoint? Of course not, but I still have to look up the difference between affect and effect every time I use it and am only half-joking when I second-guessed myself with a (who's?).

I just cannot wrap my head around people actually getting worked up about this. I'm not talking about those confused in the beginning, I'm talking about the people so passionate about being scumbags because they think their magic man in the sky gives a fuck if a dude wears a dress or a girl has a fade. This is bread and circuses 101. How can you have the energy to actually care about this when literally millions of things are more important? For example, 500,000+ Americans are dead from COVID because selfish ass holes don't know the difference between freedom and having a functioning brain. We're not even two months out on an ATTACK on the United States Capitol by domestic terrorists. There are still thousands of people in Texas without power because of corporate greed and stupidity. The planet is being destroyed and ruined for future generations because of corporate greed and stupidity. We have regular people who are against a LIVING wage for all people because of corporate greed and stupidity. American education is in the toilet; I work in a school that was built in 1938 with heat that only works in half the rooms, and in those runs, it's 140 degrees. The Celtics are 7-14 in their last 21 games. Need I go on?

If you boycott Hasbro, have an issue with this change that will no have negative ramifications to rational people, or genuinely got upset by it for more than a millisecond, you are a loser; like dudes who pay for dick ratings on OnlyFans, you should not be allowed to vote.

via GIPHY

P.S.

S/o anybody who stuck an old Mr. Potato Head mustache into their nostrils as a kid to try and get the mustache to stick to their face. I definitely never did that.
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