It's Red Sox-Yankees in October for the first time since 2004. Despite not knowing my clear-cut plans for the game yet because my friends just don't do making plans or getting together, I am fired the fuck up. I'm scared and nervous, but also excited. This series should be great for baseball and great entertainment (even though it may put my fat ass in an early grave). I just wrote a blog about all that. my-current-mindset-going-into-the-red-sox-yankees-alds.html
This is purely about hate.
I fucking hate the Yankees. Everything about them. I hate how they don't have names on either uniform because they're pretentious ass holes who think everybody should just recognize them by number. I hate their stupid fucking outdated facial hair and hair length rules. You are not allowed to have a soul or personality as a Yankee. I hate their boring ass, no fun uniforms. I hate their band wagon fans. Think of all the Yankees fans you know. How many are also fans of other New York teams? Interesting. I hate how they always pouch Red Sox players. I hate their joke of a stadium where RF is 240 feet away. I hate how their stupid fans will say "well the Green Monster is 310. It's also 37 fucking feet tall, you morons. I hate their elitist state of mind. I hate their fans. I hate how everybody on their team has that stupid faux-hawk fade that is all the rage in baseball. I hate how they have retired the number of every player who ever played for them for more than 6 years. (I don't like how the C's have 94 retired numbers too). I hate how much everybody sucks Derek Jeter's dick for running into the stands for no reason when he caught a ball 40 feet from the seats. I hate how I like A-Rod postball for his broadcasting and relationship with Big Cat. I hate John Sterling. I hate Suzyn. I hate how their fans love to chant 27 even though like 15 of them were before black people were allowed to play. I hate every single thing this organization represents.
People have said the rivalry is dead. Fuck no it's not, at least not to me. Sure it hasn't been as firery as 2003-04, but it can never be like that again. There was this thing called the Curse of the Bambino, if you have some spare time before the game check it out. But my hate of the Yankees has not dwindled. Sure now I have people I consider close friends as Yankee fans but I still also will always hate that aspect about them as human beings.
Over the course of my Red Sox fandom there have been many players I couldn't stand. Now my list may be different than yours. I'm 26 but didn't care about baseball until like 2002. I missed all the great Pedro and Nomar years, that makes me sad. I know everybody hates Paul O'Neil but I never really saw him play so guys like him won't be on my lists. Although some guys who played before my era still may be.
What I'm doing here is two blogs in one, to save time and increase my odds of getting a click even though I don't make a cent off my fire blogs. I'm going to do two seperate top 5's. My top 5 most hated current Yankees and top 5 most hated former yankees. They might not even be the most accomplished dudes but in this rivalry (both sides) there are plenty of random guys opposing fans hate. Here's the dozo take:
Let's begin with current players.
Honorable Mention: Aaron Judge.
People will always be like "you can't hate Aaron Judge".
I don't hate him as a human-being like the other guys on this list, I hate him because he's good but also kind of fake good. Aaron Judge hits monster home runs, but also strikes out all the fucking time. I feel like he usually strikes out against us, but once in a while he doesn't and it makes me angry. I get it you can make way more money in baseball so in that sense he's smart, but come on man, at that size play football or basketball.
What I do geniunely hate about Aaron Judge is his shitty "nickname". All Rise. Are you fucking kidding me? It's listed as his official nickname and I refuse to believe it. There is no way in hell dudes are like "Hey All-Rise, you wanna play fortnite?"
5. Luke Voit
This douche bag came out of nowhere in the Chasen Shreve trade from the Cardinals. Before I rip into this hardo....FUCK Chasen Shreve. He would be on this list if he didn't get traded. That name is such a fucking loser, millennial name that it makes my blood boil like I'm about to cook rice. I hate his face.
As for Voit. He's a recent addition to the Bombers and has taken the place of that BUM Greg Bird at first.
I can already tell Voit is gonna have a big series and I'm gonna fucking hate his guts, but for reasons that have already happened. Here's exhibit A:
Do I ever need to go on?
That is the most fuckboi haircut in the history of hair and fuckbois.
He pimps balls that aren't homers. I have NO issue with pimp jobs, but you better fucking make sure the ball leaves the ballpark first, Luke.
4. Gary Sanchez
Lazy, piece of shit who doesn't hustle and can't catch. Always has a stupid look on his face. Wouldn't be shocked if he couldn't read. So overrated because of power and for 3 months his rookie year. He'll be hitting like .185 but still find a way to go yard against us. His stupid "El Gary" nickname is almost as bad as Showtime Mahomes. He can swing it, but is a liability everywhere else. I simply cannot stand him.
3. Aroldis Chapman
Women beater. Enough said. Luckily he always seems to blow it against the Sox.
2. C.C. Sabathia
Old and sucks now but still owns the Sox. He has pitched incredible well against the Red Sox since leaving the Indians. Just do me a favor and remember that in his Cy Young 07 in the ALCS he went 0-2 with a 10.45 ERA whilst Josh Beckett, the man who should've won the Cy Young went 2-0 with a 1.93 ERA.
Cried about Eddy Nunez bunting last year because he's too fat and slow to field a bunt. cc-sabathia-is-triggered-af.html.
Quit on his team in 2015.
He's a shit talked and I fucking hate him. Just retire already. As a self-loathing guy with a weight problem and bad teeth I despise this man.
1. Brett Gardner
Mega-mind looking head ass.
State Trooper Gardner is the embodiment of everything I hate about the Yankees. He's the guy you love on your team, but hate on the rival. He's the Yankees Pedroia except he doesn't have an MVP or 4 gold gloves.
Big hardo too. Dude got Gardner on his player's weekend jersey.
He's not even that good but seems to always come up with the big hit in the biggest spots. What are you like 5 foot 8 gardy?? He for sure will have a moment this series where I wish I could punch him in the face.
I'm trying to be quick and not miss first pitch. Just watch this guy play baseball for 2 seconds and you'll understand.
Top 5 Most Hated Former Yankees:
Honorable Mention: Mark Teixeiria
That dumbass look on his face when he was hitting, burned Red Sox in free agency. He was all about being a yankee and all the bullshit that goes with it. Kind of overrated guy who I just never liked. Spelling his last name is a fucking nightmare too. Oh I before E just doesn't apply to you?
Honorable Mention: Aaron Boone
I don't hate Aaron Boone as much as most Red Sox fans because I fell asleep during game 7 and never saw it happen live. But I hate what he represents. The Sox should've won that game and he should've never even had a chance to get a hit. He 1000% has his current job just because of his famous blast. Winning in 04 made him irrelevant to me as a Red Sox fan, but his role in the history of the rivalry is important.
5. Derek Jeter
Late in his career he sort of got the Peyton Manning treatment from me where the hate turned to respect for what he accomplished in his career. Jeter is obviously a great player, who was able to play for a long time and compile stats.
He's also incredible overrated. His stupid jump throw does not make him a good shortstop, He was a poor defender who should have zero gold gloves. Don't even get me started on his swan dive into the stands for no reason. Also a bad teammate...Should've moved from SS when they got A-Rod and for sure should not have been playing short after like 2012.
Great player, but fuck Jeter. Nomar was better (for like 4 years).
4. Roger Clemens
Red Sox legend who TWICE went to the Yankees. Sweet frosted tips, bro. I was so ready in 07 for him to come back to the Sox, it was a big rumor but instead he showed up in George's box.
All the steroids came post Boston. I am sorta ok with Clemens now and think he should be in HOF but the fact that he won his WS in New York is a travesity. I'm more a Mike Piazza guy anyway.
T-3. Goose Gossage & Joba Chamberlain
Edit: I can't believe I forgot Joba Chamberlain but I tried to rush this before first pitch. I hatee soooo many of these rat bastard that I forgot this bumpkin exists. My last Joba MLB memory was the piss rocket he gave up to Papi on Sunday Night Baseball.
Edit: I can't believe I forgot Joba Chamberlain but I tried to rush this before first pitch. I hatee soooo many of these rat bastard that I forgot this bumpkin exists.
These guys are sort of the same dude.
What I do like about Goose is that his giant mustache was in protest to Yankee facial rules. Went as big as he could, buuut he also is a racist piece of shit, old man yells at clouds baseball guy. He is everything that is wrong with old baseball guys. Just look up the stuff he's said about anything regarding players having swag or emotion.
Joba really got all his hype over that 07 second half when he broke onto the scene. That stupid name, the weird number, the "Joba Rules". There was a lot going on. Never really had anything close the success of his first year. One thing going for Joba was how post-yankees he went heavy hair and beard. I love when ex-yankees do that.
But man does he look like shit there. It's no wonder why his career was done not too long after this photo was taken. He looks like that redneck women singer as a duck dynasty brother on meth,
What I don't like is fucking with Kevin Youkilis. My all-time favorite Red Sox.
Fuck those guys!
2. Alex Rodriguez
Ironically I love post-baseball A-Rod, but there was basically no other Yankee I ever hated more. Between how he ended up in New York, the fight on July 24th, the hamburger helper gloves, slapping the ball out of Arroyo's hand, the steroids, his overall mentality and weirdness.
Now I can appreciate him and actually am an A-Rod guy (until he starts talking Yankees), but during the heart of the rivalry there was nobody I hated more except for...
1. Johnny Damon
The ultimate sellout, said he'd never sign with the Yankees. Went from Jesus to Judas and retroactively ruined his Red Sox legacy which seemed almost impossible after how important he was in 2004. Now he's siding with the Yankees after his playing days. Fuck Johnny Damon, you balding fuck. I hate him so much, he laid the ground work for Jacoby Ellsbury. Pussy left handed leadoff men, with horrible arms, who chased the money in New York. We were better without him and won a World Series before he did, but I'll always hate Johnny Damon for what he did to Red Sox fans in December of 05. I'll never forget seeing the headline on Red Sox dot com.