Feel free to play this lightly in the background as you read to set the mood.
In the most elementary introduction to a blog in the five-year history of Dozonlife.com, the internet sure has changed the way the world works!
I don't know if people are smarter now than they were 40 years ago, but they sure are more creative, or at least have the tools to be with the information super-highway. Redditors were able to figure out that Wall Street is a scam until the powers that be changed the rules. There are people who track private jets to try to figure out where college football coaches and free agents are going. JJ Watt just signed with the Arizona Cardinals earlier this week and had shirts of the handful of teams he was considering shipped to a friend's house to avoid a mail carrier leaking his decision by putting two and two together.
My point is gone are the days where all you needed to go incognito at a hotel or hospital was a fake name. The internet and instant data sharing have ruined that.
Sure, aliases still exist, but if someone is in the lobby of a hotel and sees a celebrity check-in it doesn't really matter if they're using a fake name or not (I feel like there's gotta be some secret tunnels or something that addresses that "issue") if they snap a quick picture and tweet it out for the world to see.
Straight out of the too unbelievable to be true, but somehow is category, former Steelers QB and Pro Football Hall of Famer, Terry Bradshaw once used the name "Thomas Brady" to check into a hospital....in 1983. Back then that's all it took to outsmart everybody.
Now anybody who has listened to Chris Berman speaks for more than 90 consecutive seconds knows that Tom Brady was at Candlestick Park during "The Catch" which in itself is pretty wild given his and Joe Montana's importance in NFL history and constant comparisons, but at least that story is plausible. Brady grew up in the Bay Area; his parents had 49ers season tickets; there's a photo; it's a crazy story, but it makes all the sense in the world and can be easily proven true.
This, however, is some Black Mirror, Twilight Zone, fill in the blank with another show I don't watch shit. Now, Thomas Brady isn't exactly Shareef Abdur-Rahim when it comes to uniqueness, but this is fucking bizarro. A then 35-year-old, four-time Super Bowl champion QB used the name of a five-year-old, future seven-time Super Bowl champ QB to check in to a hotel. To quote the joke stealing, Dane Cook, "what are the evens of that?" If this were in a movie script, it'd get bunched up and thrown into a trash can. Imagine if Peter O'Toole was checking into hotels in the 1960s as "Tom Hanks"?
What's even wilder is the doctor who performed the surgery's name is William Burdick, aka Bill Burdick; the first name, first initial, and final three letters of the last name of the man who coached Tom Brady for 20/21 NFL seasons, Bill Belichick.
Man, this sounds fake AF and would be pretty easy to create with photo-editing software, but Terry Bradshaw aka the original TB12 has already corroborated this story. It's a fact; Terry Bradshaw was Tom Brady for three days in 1983.
If that Peter O'Toole reference was too good for you, allow me to explain... see, Peter O'Toole was nominated for eight Oscars and never won, and Tom Hanks has won two Best Actor Oscars. Not exactly the same as 4 rings vs. 7, but still pretty good and worth praise. I learned that name in high school when we watched Becket in English class. Ya boi 100% made a shitty Josh Beckett joke at the time too. #HireDozo