The Pats are a Disaster, Matt Patricia Isn't Qualified to Run an Offense, but At Least SOME Positives Came From The Game (for meee)
Even though I had a feeling they'd lose because the Pats always struggle in Miami, I still took their money line and included them in the first Too Many Legs Teaser of the Week (Week 1, 2022) like an idiot homer.
#NeverForget. I got all the bad legs out of me during week one. I'd rather go 1-7 than 7-1!
So I have this gambling strategy where I love to double, sometimes triple, quadruple, and even quintuple down on bets that aren't going so hot. My rationale is that if they make a comeback, I don't want to miss out on the live odds where the payouts increase. Like, I wish I live bet Super Bowl LI. This strategy has worked out in the past—notably, the Celtics 2022 NBA Finals: Presented by YoutubeTV run.
So yesterday, when the Pats were down 10-0 and 17-0, I peppered Pats ML in case they decided to start playing competent football.
That never really happened; even their lone score of the game was a fucking joke.
September 12, 2022
I'm trying not to overreact after one game. Last year the Pats started 2-4 and went up 10-7 before losing a playoff game by 30 points! I know this team is flawed and likely not sniffing a Super Bowl anytime soon, but I'd be lying if I said I'm not concerned about them. They should be better than they were yesterday. The offensive line sucked. Why didn't Kendrick Bourne play until the 4th quarter? What was with the play calling? (the Ty Montgomery hand-off on 2nd & 17 nearly gave me a stroke)
The opening drive actually looked pretty good until the interception, but honestly, I don't think that was on Mac. It should've been pass interference or at least holding.
Besides a horrible breakdown to end the first half, I thought the Pats' defense played alright. They held Miami to just 65 rushing yards (call it sub-70 counting kneel-downs) and 13 points. Not bad for an offense with weapons like Hill and Waddle.
Like I said in my Zac Taylor blog, player performances obviously matter, but coaching and positioning are just as important. What were the Pats thinking with ten guys within 10 yards of the line of scrimmage in this situation?
That score made the game 17-0 Dolphins, and it was pretty much over from there, although the Pats long 15-play, 92-yard drive to start the second half after forcing a three and out was encouraging.
I'm not ready to say the season is over, but with the money this team is paying its pass-catchers, you'd like it to be a little easier for them to move the ball. Every first down (after the opening drive) felt like a miracle. Jakobi Meyers bailed Mac out a few times. Maybe replacing Josh McDaniels with Matt Patricia was a bad idea???
Speaking of Matt Patricia. He's the whole reason I wrote this blog. His sweaty ass in some Patriots smock was the one good thing to take away from this game. Sure, this might be a little self-centered of me, but someone's gotta show the boi some love!
Despite putting up Skip Bayless high school basketball-type numbers on Twitter, I know it's not entirely my fault. I'm an underground, super niche writer. I currently have 225 followers, of which maybe 30 interact with my tweets. So even if I'm spitting an extraordinary fact or decent joke, it could sink to the bottom of the internet ocean with like 27 impressions and zero likes. Meanwhile, the same recycled "I can't believe a shrimp fried this rice" bull shit goes viral every day.
It's no secret I've put all my eggs in the Barstool basket. It's literally all I want in life. I know I'd thrive in that job and environment, but it's super competitive, and since I have essentially no internet following after all these years, the deck is stacked against me.
Even writing this blog feels a little weird, but this tweet:
was featured in not one, but two Jerry Thornton (of) Barstool Sports blogs
S/O my boy OC for breaking the news to me that I wouldn't see until 12:35 pm.
I know I'm a weird fuck, but weird fucks make Barstool an amazing mixture of sports, comedy, pop culture, and the human experience. This isn't the first time I've had a tweet embedded into a Barstool blog, but after how poorly my NFL season started---
---it felt great to have my "content" included on the website I want to work for more than I've ever wanted anything in my 30 years on this planet.
My shrink, family, passengers in the ub, hell, even some friends tell me I need to stop being so hard about myself, and they're right. Spoiler alert, my mentals have been in a dark place the last couple years, negatively affecting my writing and pursuit of my dream. Spending hours on a blog to get ZERO feedback is deflating. I'm not saying I need the love and approval of millions or even thousands, but if like three people a day complimented my art, I'd have the confidence of a lion. I'd love to write and create more, but sometimes I'm not there mentally or emotionally, and I don't wanna write just to write, and it ends up being shit. This blog turned into a little vent therapy session, but I'm not done yet.
I created @URIprobs. I've crushed it on Twitter before. My @dozonlife tweets often catch no likes or retweets, but that doesn't necessarily mean what I said isn't funny/informative/true/etc. Most of the time, they just aren't seen. I'm getting essentially no eyeballs on my shit and it's a viscious cycle. My reply game has recently shown that when given the eyeballs, people agree or find humor in my takes.
September 2, 2022
I know I have what it takes to make it. I have a wealth of knowledge about sports, history, and American "pop culture." If Barstool ever gave me the opportunity I so badly desired, I know I'd crush it. I've applied to the big Barstool Idol or mass "we're looking for talent" searches, but I don't send in my blogs or badger people for a shot. That's just not my style, and I've never been someone to constantly reach out for help. I want that to change, but I don't wanna be annoying or bothersome, even though I know I should be the squeaky wheel to get that grease. I don't know, man, I'm rambling, but it felt amazing to see a tweet that had to inch and claw to get double-digit likes get included on the website and brand I've spent the last seven years trying to garner employment from. It's just a tweet that Thornton saw and thought went well with his position, but it further proves that I know I have what it takes. I just need someone to believe in me. That's not to say there aren't people already, but I need the confirmation. The internet ruined my brain; I care too much about stupid likes because that's the metric that "proves your worth." I get in my head and think the worst. My self-confidence has never been high, but weight issues and a bunch of "Woah, you're 30 now. Figure it out." moments have only made it worse.
I'll never give up; moments like this only fuel my fire, but I know this blog will get maybe 14 reads, and I just want to relax and watch MNF. Hopefully, Courtland Sutton goes off, so at least I can catch one football related win during Week 1, but in a way, I already did. #HireDozo
Tell me I'm wrong (I'm not)
This is my first tweet embedded in a Barstool blog (July 2015).
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