By this point you likely already know that ya boiii lost a heart-breaker in the third and decisive round of "Shelter in Place" on Social Distancing: The Game Show.
Please don't cry! It's okay!
This appearance was never about winning. Obviously, I would have preferred to have won and had that 15 seconds of fame to promote DOL, but I think being a de facto co-host trumps that. While I may have lost the game itself, a blind man could see that I won the night. I know I have what it takes to make it as a Barstool Personality and last night was a huge step in the right direction. But the facts are the facts. I lost the game.
I know that life is not as simple as "if you're not first, you're last" but do you? There have been many instances in history where a "loser" ended up winning in the long run. In honor of my hopes that I parlay my appearance on Social Distancing: The Game Show into my dream job let's take a look at 10 of those instances throughout history. Here's 10 people from the last 200 year window of "losers" who got the last laugh.
10. Clay Aiken; American Idol Season 2
After losing the Season 2 Finale to Ruben Studdard, Clay Aiken was able to ride the momentum of his time on Idol into a successful career in show-business. His debut album "Measure of a Man" went double-platinum and his follow up Christmas album went regular-platinum.
I didn't see any Rueben cameos on Scrubs. Clay might've lost to Ruben, but he'$ got the la$t laugh.
9. Tag Team; Never Got to #1 on the Charts
PARTY PEOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPLEEEE!!!! Tag Team's "Whoomp! (There It Is)" is one of the most analyzed songs in music history. The early 90's One Hit Wonder is on both all-time great and bad song lists and has been used countless times in both tv and film. Sports teams have used it as a rallying cry ('93 Phillies, '94 Rockets) too. Whoomp! stayed in the Top 10 on the Billboard Hot 100 for 24 non-consecutive weeks; longer than any song in history at the time (including 7 weeks at #2)
Despite all that, it never got to #1. Don't worry, UB40's COVER of Elvis' "Can't Help Falling In Love" did. Damn bro, did UB40 write any of their own fucking songs?
TL; DR: Whoomp! (There It Is) is statistically the most successful #2 song of all time (or at least it used to be) and much more memorable than the songs it ranked behind. "Whoomp! (There It Is)" was the #2 song of 1993, #15 of the 90s and #74 OF ALL TIME according to Billboard. Whoomp there it is, I thought ya knew?
8. Armando Galarrago; Lost Perfect Game Bid on a Blown Call in 2010.
There have only been 23 perfect games in the 150+ years of Major League Baseball. I'm sure there's a ton of great-grandfathers who can list all 23, but for the most part only die-hard baseball fans know that Len Barker threw a Perfect Game in 1981.
Maybe this stands out to me more because it happened on the Wednesday of my last week of high school, I rocked the 5-8 on the gridiron and at the Senior Athletic Banquet the following Sunday (I think?) our A.D. went on about the sportsmanship of Galarraga for like 15 minutes, but at the time this story was EVERYWHERE.
There's a lot of moments in baseball pre-2014 where people were like "why the fuck don't we have replay?" but I cannot think of one that stands out more than Jim Joyce's call that cost Armando Galarraga a perfect game. It was clear as day that he got robbed and Armando just laughed it off. Unreal. I know if I was in his shoes I would've had an all-time melt down ending with Jim Joyce in legitimate in physical pain. A hell of a lot more people remember Armando's 28-out near Perfect Game than Phil Humber's real one.
7. Nikola Tesla; Current Wars
Do you know anybody who drives an Edison?
6. Adam Lambert; American Idol Season 8
Adam Lambert was runner up to Kris Allen during American Idol season 8. Even though I was in high school at the time AND went to school with someone named Chris Allen I still don't remember him. It's laughable to compare their careers. One has performed with Queen and the other is lucky to have a Wikipedia page.
5. Chris Daughtry; American Idol Season 5
Do you remember who won season 5 of Idol?
Taylor fuckin Hicks. Remember him? The dude with a full head of salt n pepper hair at like 26. I'm going to take the leap that most people forgot he ever existed. Name one Taylor Hicks song that isn't "Do I Make You Proud?" Meanwhile Chris Daughtry has had an awfully nice career for himself post-Idol.
4. Dave Holmes; Wanna Be A VJ? (1998)
When Dave Holmes lost the inaugural "Wanna Be a VJ?" contest to Jesse Camp in 1998 he could've faded back into obscurity. Instead Holme's used his intellect, charisma and talent to land a job with MTV; despite coming in second to Aldus Snow's drunk uncle.
Since 1998, Dave Holmes has become a respectable TV personality, writer, podcaster, DVD on TV host and LGBTQ rights advocate.
Jesse Camp probably misses the 90's more than Bill Clinton.
3. Marty Mush; Barstool Idol 2018
Marty Mush may have lost Barstool Idol to Mantis, but if you go onto barstoolsports.com you'll find that Mush is an employee! As the co-host of Walk the Line it's clear Marty has shot up the charts of Barstool personalities; making the most of his appearance on Barstool Idol in 2018. Vince Lombardi famously said that "Winning wasn't everything; it's the only thing" but did you know later in life he recanted that?
2. Josh Hamilton; 2008 MLB Home Run Derby
Despite his record breaking 28 home runs in the opening round of the 2008 MLB Home Run Derby, Josh Hamilton lost the crown to........do you remember?
Now, Morneau had a very nice major league career; 2006 AL MVP, 4X All Star, and one of the least memorable batting titles ever...he's one of the most beloved players in Minnesota Twins history...but he's Justin Morneau. Not exactly a very memorable character.
The Derby was Josh Hamiliton's big "I'M BACK" moment after losing the beginning of his career to drug abuse. He was the poster child of what not to do as a top draft pick. I'd make the argument his legacy wasn't much different than Ryan Leaf's. Unlike Leaf, Josh got clean and ended up having a very respectable career in pro sports; winning an MVP of his own in 2010 and two pennants with the Rangers. His story is one of the most inspirational in the history of sports IMO. It bums me out to this day that the Rangers lost that 2011 World Series. I wanted them to win for him so badly. He struggled most of that series, but people forget that he hit what could've been the series winning home run in the top of the 10th AND a 2-run shot to give the Rangers a brief 2-0 lead in the first inning of Game 7 AFTER their devastating loss in Game 6. That's how you never give up.
1. Jennifer Hudson; American Idol Season 3
There has been A LOT of American Idol on this list. Probably the most American Idol coverage in the history of DOL, but there is no better example of perseverance than Jennifer Hudson; both professionally and personally.
After coming in SEVENTH during Season 3 J-Hud's career has blown Fantasia's out of the water; highlighted by a mother fucking ACADEMY AWARD for her performance in Dream Girls in her first ever movie role. She's halfway to an EGOT and has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. After Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood I'd argue she's the most successful Idol alumni.
We all know the real-life tragedy she faced in 2008. Who would've blamed her if it ruined her? Idk if I'd be able to go on if my mother, sibling and nephew were murdered by someone I knew. She rebounded by creating a foundation in their honor. Hudson's performance of the National Anthem at Super Bowl XLIII in February of 2009 showed the world she wasn't going to stop living after an unspeakable horror.
I hate to end so heavy on such a light-hearted topic, but as is life things don't always go to plan. Here at DOL it's about blurring the emotional lines. I can go from serious to fuckin around and back 20 different ways with the stroke of a finger. Who did I miss? Who do you think is a great example of a "loser" who won in the long run?
This is only the beginning. #HireDozo