 We're down to the Elite 8 (nfl's version), and hopefully, these matchups will be more compelling than last weekend's. Outside of Lions-Rams, every game was a blowout or blowout adjacent, which is the last thing you want this time of year. I went 3-3 straight up picking winners, but I (almost) always pick against the Chiefs out of spite, so that one basically doesn't count. Divisional Round Weekend is upon us and there's representation from every division except the NFC East, which saw both its teams embarrassingly ousted on Super Wild Card Sunday. It's the dictionary definition of insanity for the Cowboys to bring back Mike McCarthy when Bill Belichick is available. But, we're here to talk about the teams that still have a choice at hoisting the Lombardi in a few weeks. Let's take a look at the matchups and narratives!! I'm at my sister's, so this is blog's gonna be a quicky because I feel guilty stepping away to write this blog. Past years: 2016: 3-1 2017: 2-2 2018: 3-1 2019: 1-1 2020: 2-2 2021: 3-1 2022: 3-1 Saturday, January 20: (4) Houston Texans at (1) Baltimore Ravens (ABC, ESPN) - 4:30 PM ET  Going into the season, I never thought the Houston Texans would be a game away from being a game away from the Super Bowl, but here they are. Congrats. Led by rookie QB C.J. Stroud and rookie head coach DeMeco Ryans, Houston's future seems to be bright, but in the immediate future, their surprise run is about to end. Stroud was lights out against the Browns, but Flacco gift-wrapping Houston 14 points made things easier. I wouldn't be shocked if Lamar put one on the ground, but I don't think the Texans can count on back-to-back pick sixes today. Of course, the Ravens have been in an eerily similar situation before. In 2019, Baltimore went 14-2 and earned the AFC's #1 seed. Lamar Jackson was the league's MVP (IMO, he should win again this year), and the Ravens hosted an AFC South team that recently upset a team that won vs. a Super Bowl champion QB in the Wild Card Round. Derrick Henry ran all over those Ravens. Could CJ Stroud pull off another upset? There's pressure on everybody this time of year, but IMO, no team left in these playoffs feels the heat more than Baltimore. The Chiefs aren't the same Chiefs. No Burrow this year. The Bills are banged up. There's a clear path for them to Vegas. They eviscerated the 49ers IN San-ta Fran-clara and are poised to go on a run, but if they were to lose this game to a rookie head coach-QB combo, it'll be a long offseason (did you know the Ravens haven't won a home playoff game since 2012????). Lamar Jackson and his one career playoff win need this. I think he gets it, but the Texans won't be an easy out. Don't be surprised if Likely scores a touchdown. Ravens 38 Texans 24 (7) Green Bay Packers at (1) San Francisco 49ers (Fox) - 8:00 PM ET  Jordan Love and the Packers demolished the Cowboys in Jerry World to become the first seven-seed to win a playoff game. This team is so young that they could practice on Epstein Island. I hope the Lions enjoyed their first NFC North Title because the Pack is back, but I don't see them winning this game. If they were to, they'd need Purdy to throw a few picks, which he's been primed to do. The 49ers are the best team in the NFC and, like the Ravens, have a clear path to Vegas. The Packers have the 28th-best run defense in the league (which is bad), and the 49ers have a well-rested Christian McCaffrey. Sometimes, you don't have to think too hard. Of course, the Packers *could* win this game, but I learned in last year's divisional round to trust the 49ers at home against an inferior 9-win team. 49ers 31 Packers 23 Sunday, January 21: (4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers at (3) Detroit Lions (NBC, Peacock, Universo) - 3:00 PM ET  These teams met in Tampa in Week 6 and while the Bucs looked fresh in their creamsicle unis, they played like ass, losing 20-6. Of course, that doesn't guarantee a Lion victory, but you have to love this draw for the Lions. They're getting another home playoff game, after none for three decades and it's against the 9-8 Bucs. Last week, Tampa beat up on an already gone Eagles, but these Lions have heart and a coach that you'd run through a brick-wall while on fire for. Ford Field will be rocking. I don't know if Baker's swag is gonna be enough. A poor-Lions pass defense will keep this game close, but I think the Lions find a way to stay alive. It's gonna be a big Gibbs and Montgomery day. Lions 30 Bucs 24 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills (CBS, Paramount+) - 6:30 PM ET  If the Bills can't get past the Chiefs today, I don't know if they ever will. Yes, they beat them in Arrowhead during the regular season, but those stakes are incomparable to these. If Toney wasn't a bum and knew how to line up, this game could be in KC again, but now Patrick Mahomes is going on the road for the first time in his playoff career.
I want to pick the Bills. I really do. But between a team owned by billionaires not providing food for the fans they pimped out to clean their stadium (instead of hiring professionals...like what the fuck are you doing), a BANGED up defense, and 20+ years of knowing NFL narratives, I'm picking KC. As much as it pains me to say, Mahomes is becoming Brady before our very eyes. This Chiefs run is very similar to the 2011-2018 Pats, and everything points towards a Chiefs slight upset victory. I think Pacheco is gonna have a massive day. The Bills have no linebackers. Josh Allen's gonna turn the ball over three times, and the Chiefs will be in the AFCCG again. Chiefs 23 Bills 20
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