I NEEEED to Be On the Hot Ones Gameshow

via GIPHY

If you wanna talk about textbook unexpected great news; this is it! (Huey Lewis)


​Hot Ones; the game with hot questions and even hotter wings is finally available for run of the mill plebs like you and I to play as a game show on TruTV. Teams of two will compete in a trivia based/wing eating game for a shot at 25 large ($25,000 USD).

I've been watching this hit Youtube series since all the way back in June of 2019. In the time since, I've watched at least 43% of the episodes.  It has me dying (and hungry) every time. Sean Evans is a great host and watching celebrities freak out eating spicy food is right up there with babies-trying-to-walk-falling down-in-cute-ways and Jackass videos for "I can watch this over and over again and still laugh every time" type of dumb-ass humor that I need every 90 minutes to survive. 

Before, only the brightest of stars were able to step into the both mentally and physically grueling youtube series Hot Ones (presented by First We Feast).  I would include a bunch of embedded Youtube videos showing the wide array of stars to appear on the show, but I think all the attachments are slowing down DOL. (h/t 3) Which reeeaaaally sucks because the DOL IG is actually starting to gain some steam; the last thing I need is my blog crashing when hot shots wanna read, jah feel? So instead of a bunch of clips from the likes of Idris Elba to ScarJo to Mac DeMarco to Gronk to Neil deGrasse Tyson to Billie Eilish to Chance the Rapper to Skip & Shannon to Paul fuckin Rudd and beyond...we're just gonna imagine okay? If you haven't been on Hot Ones, are you even famous?

Now the interview has been swapped out for trivia. Holy fucking shit am I all in.  I don't even know if I have TRUtv, but I'll find a way (Drake Bell) to watch.

I hope this show gets picked up for a second season because I am 258% going to try out. I LOVE game shows and chicken wings.  I get the hot salsa (because there's no chunks) at Chipotle, nbd. I am a trivia GOD and have been getting hurt my entire life. I was made for this show. I can endure some heat for like $8,000 bucks after taxes and splitting with my partner to put towards my student loans and a laptop that doesn't have cancer.  What the fuck even is a Scoville? This could be the very break I need to make it. Maybe the Rosie O'Donnell videos are past their prime? Using a internet show turned game show as my vehicle would be more poetic than any number of poets I could name if I really wanted to.