As I referenced earlier in my Veterans Day blog, my anxiety has been flowing super hard today and the last 20 or so years. Like Lady Gaga's 2016 tearjerking smash, there's a million reasons as to why, but tonight we'll focus solely on my career or lack there of.
I'm currently a longterm substitute teacher in a district that John Hopkin's University once said "has very little visible learning". I have about as much of a future in this job as Ralph Cifaretto does an animal rights activist. It breaks my heart to see how poorly these schools are run and how many kids needs are not being met. I feel partly responsible and hate myself for it; I don't want to be a part of it anymore. Once my certification expires in August I am never going back. I don't want to be a teacher and haven't wanted to be one for years. I don't care if I have to ub** full time, I cannot be a part of this system that I loathe with all 260-320 pounds of me. Come next September I will be in a different field. All I've wanted to do since I was in high school was write about sports. The #HireDozo Manifesto tells the whole story, but once the Chernin Group invested in Barstool Sports in January of 2016 the possibility of making a living as a writer/entertainer at my favorite website seemed truly possible. That's why I started DOL in February of that same year as my Barstool sample after I was recruited on twitter by this blog that no longer exists (I looked last night) called DieHardDiaries. I wrote a couple blogs for them in January of 2016 and after they told me they only wanted me to write about the Patriots I realized I was much better off starting my own blog where I was free to talk about whatever I want. Hence the name Dozonlife (taken from a short-lived all sports twitter account called @DozonSports). Man, I wish these links were active to see what these blogs looked like.
Once Barstool expanded from just Boston and a few other cities based blogs to one of the biggest brands in all of sports media and was able to offer things like health insurance, I knew it was what I wanted to dedicate my life to pursuing. As long as I am breathing, I will not give up on my dream. I love what this company is all about and know for a fact I'd thrive there if given the opportunity.
Literally all I want out of my life is to be a Barstool Blogger. I know tweeting #HireDozo likely isn't gonna seal the deal, but given their hiring record there is no rhyme or reason to how they add talent. Sure, you could have >100k followers on your own volition or come from a more established media company, but you could also just have a funny nickname, dress like a video game coach or be from Mississippi to get a chance. The entire reason I ate #43Burgers back in March was to get eyes on my brand and blog. I hoped I could use my binge eating talents to show how dedicated I am to making it as a blogger/contentman. I don't want to say COVID ruined my chances of using that content to get attention on my blog, but I did say that. One thing I've learned from going to therapy the last year and a halfish is that you need to control what you can control. Nothing is going to change simply by wanting it to; you gotta do something about it. If I want to lose weight for the 17th time I need to change my eating habits. If I want to work for Barstool I have to reach out because they're likely not going to reach out to me and my (at this moment) 86 twitter followers. Yes, we all know I created @URIprobs, but as of now, it hasn't helped either. I know I need to send out some sort of legitimate application or have a viral blog/video that catches their attention to show my worth. That's why today I was going through the content I made during early COVID. I'm trying to put together a content resume. One of my favorite things I made was during that time was a DOL All 22 meets Pop Up Video that broke down my 1997 appearance on the Rosie O'Donnell Show. Literally the first word is a typo, which is very on brand!
My appearance on the Rosie O'Donnell show in June of 1997 changed my life. You can read more about it in #HireDozo Manifesto as this blog is already getting long, but that is what showed me it's possible to make it out of little Rhode Island. Even as a kid I had showbiz dreams. At 5 years old I had agents reaching out to my mom after how electric I was on Rosie.
While updating my resume for Barstool Sports, I wanted to make sure I had all the necessary information and came across some unfortunate news. IMDB did not give a credit for my appearance on Rosie. 
This was quite disheartening news; crushing some may say. I didn't know how to go about fixing this. All I know about credits and how they're given is from Nathan Fielder.
With faceswapping apps and deep fakes Barstool isn't going to believe I was on the Rosie O'Donnell Show in June of 1997 without the proper credit. I need IMDB to make things right before I send out my next batch of #HireDozo emails.
I tried to reach out directly to the source. I thought Rosie could pull a few strings for her ole pal. I think since I screwed up the correct punctuation mark Rosie is ghosting me :(
My next best option was to start a petition because they are the only way you can make a change. So that's exactly what I did. Please take a moment to sign. If not for me, do it so IMDB is more accurate.
— Doz #hiredozo (@DozonLife) November 12, 2020
1 Comment
Kelly Akin
11/12/2020 09:27:20 am
Get Dozo an IMDB credit for his 1997 appearance on the Rosie O'Donnell Show!! Leave a Reply. |
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