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I used to love the Red Sox more than I love myself, but that isn't really saying much when my brain has been telling me to take the early checkout since the early 2000s, but if you've read DOL in the last 13 months, you know exactly how I feel about the Mookie Betts trade. I don't really feel like picking that scab right now, so here's everything I've written on the topic since the Red Sox essentially traded him twice with zero regards for the most famous curse in the history of sports (sorry, Cubs fans).
-As if the Red Sox Weren't a Big Enough Joke Already, Lebron James Now Owns (Governs) Part of Them!
-I Want to Believe But I Don't Know If I Can -Well, This (Potentially) Changes Everything -Not Only Do the Red Sox Suck at Paying Generational Talent, but They Suck at Twitter Too! -It Looks Like The Dodgers Are About To Sign Mookie to a Giant Deal -Some Telling Stats About The Future of The United States of America -How to Induce Vomiting (in New England) -Mookie Betts Buys Groceries and Pizza For People Shopping and Working in Tennessee -John Henry FINALLY Addresses The Mookie Betts Trade (and I Address My Future as a Red Sox Fan) -After Nearly A Week of Hold Ups The Curse of Mookie Is Official (R.I.P. My Red Sox Fandom) -So You're Telling Me There's a Chance? -I Officially No Longer Love The Boston Red Sox
There appears to be a new billboard outside of Fenway Park courtesy of Alex Soto, the "CEO" of Dodgers Fan Group "Pantone 294" (named after the Pantone of Dodger Blue) just in time for 4,500 people to spend over $500/ticket watching a team with zero chance to compete in 2021 while lining the pockets of billionaires who no longer care about putting the most competitive team on the field as possible!!!
A team whose ownership and front office mishandled the books so badly while changing their organizational philosophy as frequently as you change your underwear that they traded away the first player in baseball history to win a Batting Title, MVP, Gold Glove, Silver Slugger, and World Series in the same season. Why pay Mookie fucking Betts when you can reset the books and acquire Malibu's Most Wanted and a couple of prospects? I mean, the Red Sox are only worth 3.3 BILLION DOLLARS.
Upon further research (reading the twitter thread for three minutes) it looks like the CEO of Pantone 294 may not be the best dude out there. I think he tried to profit off of Kobe's death?
That's incredibly scummy if true and obviously I don't condone, but I'm not trying to waste my time going down that rabbit hole when I should be saying that I fucking love this billboard. If you're crying about using the money for a more productive reason can you just relax? Do you feel better that you got your internet pats on the back from strangers? Of course donating to a food bank or something would be a more productive way to spend money, but does everything have to be so life or death? Can we just relax for a second? Nobody is more about fixing humanity’s biggest issues but sports are not the end of the world. It's okay to talk shit and be a little bit of a dick sometimes in the right setting and this is the perfect one. Putting this outside of Fenway is objectively hilarious. A+ trolling. It should piss Red Sox fans off. Maybe if more people fucking listened to me and tried to do some sort of fan revolt things would've changed?
Dodger fans should be thanking the Red Sox for handing them Mookie Betts and David Price in exchange for a flip-phone and Easy-Bake Oven. Mookie put a borderline All-Star team over the top and helped them win their first World Series since 1988. How the Red Sox thought it was a good idea to trade him to the most loaded roster in baseball in a deal that didn't send back a single pitcher is beyond me. Fuck everything about Fenway Sports Group. They had the balls to put up a Black Lives Matter banner on Fenway after they cheaped out on paying their two best black players. You'd think if they actually believed that they'd want to have Mookie Betts be the face of the franchise while setting up him and his family for life? That could've helped changed Boston's image by investing in and building around black generational talent but nah, let's get super good guy Alex Verdugo!
Now, if you want to say this is classless or that it's some lame shit that makes Dodger fans look bad, that's your right. I can sorta see from some Dodger fans' POV how it's a salt-in-the-wound move, but I happen to fucking loathe the Red Sox ownership group and love this billboard, so pour salt like you’re Gandhi. The Red Sox should be a case study in incompetence. It'd be one thing if you didn't trade Babe Ruth a year after winning a championship in a year that ends in 18, and this was the first time that a decision like this was made, but it's not! How can you even tempt fate knowing how far back that set the Red Sox? I will never spend a cent on Red Sox tickets or memorabilia until they sell the team or die. I encourage all people to shit on the Red Sox for trading Mookie. I know next to nothing about this Alex Soto dude, but I commend him for putting up this billboard. According to ESPN, he said it was genuine thanks, but I'm choosing to interpret this as a troll job and a fantastic one at that. Tom Werner, that smug mother fucker, bragged about having four World Series titles while the Dodgers haven't won since 1988 last season after the trade. Well, the Dodgers won it all in 2020, and I pray they overtake the Red Sox in rings this millennium while Mookie is there to make him eat his words. In closing, the Red Sox should be reminded of their decision to trade Mookie Betts every moment of every day. Fuck Fenway Sports Group. Your lasting legacy will be The Curse of the Bowlbino, not the four World Series titles.
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