For second time in three weeks and the sixth time this season, the DOL Too Many Legs Teaser of the Week is cashin' out!
While we did improve to 6-8 on the year and give the people some extra Christmas cash, before we go any further, I need to apologize for providing faulty information prior to kickoff.
I pride myself on statistical accuracy (clearly grammar doesn't keep me up at night) and made the mistake of assuming Matthew Stafford was out after hearing it somewhere in my rushed research process. I honestly don't even know where I heard it, I just know I did and ran with it; without fact-checking. I am truly sorry. Even though the Titans still won by 22 points; you deserve better from your favorite Barstool hopeful.
It's an inexcusable mistake, but I'm gonna peel back the curtain in my process of creating #TooManyLegs every Sunday.
Of course I'd love to spend my entire week researching these picks to provide write-ups for each game that are witty, insightful and most importantly lead to winners, but time is of the essence. Due to the uncertainty of the schedule and player availability due to COVID, I hold off until Sunday morning to do the lion share of my research. Sometimes the writing suffers because of my proactive-procrastination. With a "real job" that takes up a lot of my time and energy, I don't want to waste time looking into a game only for it to get cancelled or for a star player to be knocked out thanks to COVID.
I constantly go back and forth between wanting provide witty, insightful write ups and just giving picks. Obviously when I have all my eggs in the Barstool basket, I want the writing quality to be much better than it has been, but in the gambling game people don't care about a shitty pun, they care about winners; at least at this level. That's why I mixed in no write ups for a few weeks, but have realized forcing myself to do a little research tends to lead to better picks. Who would've ever guessed?
Do you want a little haha or do you want winners? Ideally I'd like to give both, but this season due to time restrictions this is the way it is. When you only have twoish hours to research and get the blog out (because waking up before 10 AM would only make matters worse) this is the result you get. Admittedly, part of me likes it this way because it's more authentic to who I am. I'm a wait until the last minute guy and I don't want to suffer paralysis by analysis. Sometimes "I just have a feeling" or "these teams should find a way to get into the 20s" should be all the explanation a person needs.
I'm sure nobody really gives a shit about that or my war against my brain, but I just had to get it out and this (my blog that I've ran for five years) is the place to do so.
As for the legs this week, we had Colts -1, Titans -3, Bucs -0.5, Bears/Vikings OVER 41, Seahawks -0.5, in the 1 pm slots; Cardinals/Eagles OVER 43.5 and Jets/Rams UNDER 50.5 in the late afternoon window and Browns -0.5 to close it out during Sunday Night Football.
After the Colts held an early 14-0 lead, I thought I could focus elsewhere, only for the Texans to make it a game. I almost didn't take this game because I was worried about the DeShaun Watson factor, but luckily his teammates let him down, again. Houston had a chance to tie or take the lead late in the 4th quarter and it nearly looked like they would until Darius Leonard had other ideas.
Of all the 1 PM games, the Bucs gave me the most trouble and were the main spot of my focus. Down 17-0 at half, like everybody else on twitter, I too was thinking about the Falcons track record of blowing games but didn't make any hacky jokes for free retweets. While the Falcons history did help me believe we were never dead with this bet, another Bucs 17-0 comeback that I was on the right side in Week 4 gave me peace of mind that Brady could it off. After all, the Chargers and the Falcons are the same team. Luckily the Falcons did what they do best and blew a game that saw their win probability surpass the 95% level in the 2nd half.
Right as the Bucs were coming back, so was the Football Team against Seattle. The Seahawks were up 20-3 going into the 4th quarter...
Only for their trash-ass "I still think you're good because you're the Seahawks" defense to nearly blow the game late against Dwayne "don't call me Carol" Haskins. It was 20-15 Seahawks when the Football team had the ball on Seattle's 23 yard line with over a minute to play before two straight sacks and an incompletion ended the game. I feel bad for those who had Seahawks -6.5 after failing to cover up 17, but this is why we tease!
Talk about hitting a nail right on the head in Minnesota. It was nice to have a game I didn't have to pay attention to while worrying about the two aforementioned contests.
Points were not a problem in Arizona. Told you we'd see a Big 12 shootout.
How can you not love Larry Fitzgerald?
God Bless the J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets! It wasn't easy, but I survived their first win of the season and under 50.5. The real under ended up hitting, but in the midst of four straight scoring drives in the 3rd quarter I had to hedge.
With all seven legs accounted for and Browns -0.5 (essentially a pick 'em) all that remained between a +1000 payout, I made the calculated decision to hedge with Giants ML to guarantee myself a nice Sunday either way. Had I known this was their secret to keeping up with the Browns offense I would've just let it ride. Browns went on to win 20-6 in a game that felt like 40-6 due to the Giants anemic offense.
Ladies and gentlemen, that is how the Too Many Legs Teaser of the Week got to 6-8 on the season. This week is super weird with four games before Sunday, so I might end up posting a teaser a little earlier this week; although with Christmas and my history of procrastination, I'll probably just see you Sunday. Stay tuned either way! #HireDozo
This just came out during my proof-reading stages...R.I.P. Kevin Greene