As I continue to do myself no favors appealing to a larger audience; this blog is about a little MTV show from the mid-late 2000s called Human Giant.
Human Giant was a sketch comedy show that aired for two seasons from 2007-08 on MTV and featured future "stars" Aziz Ansari, Paul Scheer, and Rob Huebel. HG was appointment viewing while I was in high school and 100% influenced my comedic style (at least in my brain). The reverse To Catch a Predator with Jon Benjamin as the "predator" is one of the funniest things I've seen in my nearly 29 and a half years on this planet. If you've never seen it, I have the 1st season DVD and can loan it to you (hashtag good guy). Human Giant was supposed to have a 3rd season, but this was around when all three guys' careers were really starting to blow up. Aziz had conflicts due to his new role as Tom Haverford on Parks and Rec, Paul Scheer would soon go on to play Andre on The League, and Rob Huebel was too busy trying to split Peter Klaven's Ferrigno commish. With season three out of the question, there was a possibility of a Human Giant movie for the time being. I had heard about this before but didn't know what happened and just assumed it was in development hell, or the guys simply moved on. According to Paul Sheer and fellow The League star Jason Mantzoukas, the script was in the works but was stolen. Both told the story on "Thursdays" w/ Rob & Paul.
Apparently, old antique photographs are NOT the one thing you can't replace...add pre "cloud" documents to the list. I hope whoever stole it at least read it before selling the laptop for below market value.
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Song: Tainted Love (1981) Artist: Soft Cell Album: Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret Today's Pride Month SOD is VH1's #2 One-Hit Wonder of All-Time (2002), "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell. Fun Fact: VH1 ranked "Tainted Love" higher on its all-time one-hit-wonder list than its actual peak on the U.S. charts (#8). While Soft Cell continued to keep the hits coming in their native U.K., in the U.S., "Tainted Love," a cross-genre cover of R&B singer Gloria Jones' 1965 hit, was their only appearance on the Billboard Charts. There will always be a special place in my heart for cover-song one-hit-wonders (except for The Ataris..I HATE their "Boys of Summer" cover). It's just such a funny concept to me. What a way to leave your mark on music history...with one hit that isn't even "your" song! Not a bad way to make a living for a few months. Less Fun Fact: Marilyn Manson also covered "Tainted Love" in 2001.
This morning, I was at work, just minding my business, trying to host a couple of WW1 Kahoots to help my students that can't even explain the significance of Franz Ferdinand prepare for a quiz.
Before I could remind my students not to get confused about Triple Alliance becoming the Central Powers and the Triple Entente becoming the Allied Powers, there was a WOJ BOMB so massive that it would've sunk the Lusitania.
Not even 18 hours after the 2020-2021 Celtics died a very 2018-19 Celtics like death, Danny Ainge has "retired" from President of Basketball Operations and has been replaced by now-former Celtics Head Coach, Brad Stevens.
I consider myself a knowledgable but semi-casual Celtics fan. I don't watch every game, but I like to think I have a decent idea of what's going on with this team, and I had zero clue whatsoever this was coming. This story hit me like a ton of anything because, as you likely learned in 2nd grade, a ton of bricks and a ton of feathers weigh the same. There have been rumors that Brad Stevens would leave to go back to Indiana, but nothing about moving into the front office. When you factor in how young he is (44), it makes this move even more surprising. According to Woj, Brad Stevens has been "worn down" since the Bubble.
Now that doesn't come as that much of surprise. Everybody is worn down from the last 15ish months, plus from a purely basketball standpoint, the C's have played a LOT since the league restarted last July. After a run to the ECF, the Celtics season ended on September 11th. The 2020-2021 Celtics season began on December 23rd. We're talking not even three and half months between seasons.
As for Danny Ainge, I've gone back and forth with how I view his tenure.
Everybody will focus on how the Celtics "only" won one championship as if that tells the whole story. The 08-09 Celtics were the best Big 3 era team but saw their championship aspirations die when KG got hurt. In 2009-10, the Celtics lost Game 7 of the NBA Finals on the road after losing their starting Center in Game 6. IDK how much of that can be blamed on Danny Ainge.
Obviously, Danny only has one ring from his 18 years as GM/President of Basketball Operations, but it's not like they were the Pittsburgh Pirates over his tenure. The Celtics played in five Conference Finals from 2009-10 to 2019-20. That being said, I think it's more than fair to say they underachieved as a team. Clearly, there have been questionable moves. Most C's fans will point at the Perk trade as one of Danny's biggest mistakes, and I am certainly in that camp. I wish Danny handled this last off-season better. There are plenty of misses, but he's consistently been one of the best front office execs in the NBA. Sure, the Nets recruited Kevin Durant and Kyrie and traded for James Harden, making light work of the Celts mere hours ago, but DA still fleeced Brooklyn in the Paul Pierce/KG trade. Danny turned two aging stars (plus Jason Terry) into Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum. Both are still not even close to their prime yet. Danny could still have his fingerprints on a future championship team.
I know "It's All About 18" around here, but the fact of the matter is the Celtics have won one (1) championship since 1987. With all the success of the Patriots and Red Sox, Boston has turned into championship or bust. The Celtics have still been in three of the last four Eastern Conference Finals.
All I care about going forward is keeping the Jays intact. I loved Brad as the coach, but it felt like the team adopted his laid-back image and needed a new voice. This might not be the worst move for their future. I want someone to light a fire under their asses to get the most out of them while also not fucking things up to the point they want out of Boston. One thing is for sure this will make for an exciting offseason. Song: Cheap Queen (2019) Artist: King Princess Album: Cheap Queen
Other than world peace, a job at Barstool, billionaires paying their fair share of taxes, a healthy relationship with my parents, real friends that hit me up to do things now that RI is open because I'm not a plan guy (but I am fully vacced!), and the mental strength to love myself enough to stick to a diet/lifestyle change so I can get laid again and my heart doesn't pop like a twisted up water bottle, there is nothing I want more in life than for this Kyrie Irving-Celtics-water bottle fiasco to go away.
THIS is an absolutely deadly weapon if put in the wrong hands.
ICYMI, like I did in real time because hand up, I watched maybe 14 dribbles of Celtics-Nets Game 4. (I went to my Grandmas on Sunday and didn't tune into the game until I got home late in the 3rd quarter when the game it as already out of hand, so I opted to play Madden and watch Mad Men on TV2) While leaving the court after a blowout win in Game 4, a Celtics fan threw a water bottle at Kyrie Irving. It did not hit him.
With TD Garden and many other stadiums fully open to fans for the first time since March 2020, unfortunately, this not the first instance of poor fan behavior at a sporting event in even the last week. Hawks PG Trae Young was spat on at MSG, and someone in Philly poured popcorn on Wizards PG Russell Westbrook.
Fans should not be acting this way, it's a huge bummer to see, and I totally get the anger from players, but at the same time, you cannot put all those events in the same class. You just can't. Yes, all three were fans doing things that are wrong and technically against the code of conduct, but it's like saying tickling, punching, and shooting someone are the same thing. You shouldn't do any of those three things to a stranger, but it goes without saying, even though I'm saying it now, that those actions are not equal. Nobody is serving a life sentence for tickling. Spitting on someone is one of the most disgusting, dehumanizing, disrespectful things you can do a person. If you spit on someone intentionally (we've all accidentally spit while talking and instantly wanted to die from embarrassment) I'm fine with M.E.T.H.O.D. Man levels of torture. Pouring popcorn on someone is some clown shit; it's disgusting from a scientific and ethical stand point. Throwing a 85% empty water bottle at some one is wrong and I'm not condoning it, but's hands down the least dangerous and obscene act of the three. For the 84th time, I agree that it's wrong and I don't condone it, but it's crazy to me to put it in the same class as the other two. I hope the Celtics get put out of their misery tonight so this stupid ass story can die. Hell, I wanted them to lose the play-in tournament just to avoid the Nets and inevitable Kyrie mess. I'm so over the Kyrie-Celtics drama, and this whole ordeal just adds to lazy narratives that Boston is the most racist city in America after Kyrie planted the seeds in a previous press conference. I'm not acting like everything is perfect here, but in today's climate, it's easy/lazy to say this incident was race-related when I think most people with a brain and knowledge of the Kyrie-Celtics feud know the truth; Celtics fans hate Kyrie and not because he's black. My future boss, Dave Portnoy, put it perfectly:
They hate him for how 2017-2019 went. They hate that he left for a division rival when this team has two young stars in the making after he said he was staying. I'm not saying that makes it okay to throw things at him, but it's not like Kyrie hasn't been poking the Boston fanbase for over a year. Then after the game, he stomped at the Celtics center court logo.
To paraphrase the great Chris Rock, "I'm not saying he should've thrown it, but I understand." People get way too fired up about sports, I know because I'm one of those people. So yeah, some drunk ass hole college-aged kid threw a bottle at Kyrie after he disrespected the Celtics. Again, I don't think this is okay, but to charge the dude with assault and battery by means of a dangerous weapon is a fucking joke. I'm confused, as opposed to a non-dangerous weapon? Kick the kid out for a year and move on.
I get it they're just trying to make an example of this poor behavior in attempts to stop future incidents, but calling a nearly empty water bottle a "dangerous weapon" is a joke. This entire story is a joke. Much like the 2020-21 Celtics, I want it to die so we can move on with our lives to more pressing issues. Get healthy and focus on next season. Kevin Durant was spot on about the entire ordeal. People are crazy from lockdown, but that's no excuse, and nobody's mother is proud of actions like these. I'm glad KD went there. Grow the fuck up. Treat people with respect. In case you're still confused after finishing this blog, I'm not okay (My Chemical Romance, 2004) with the actions of this Celtics fan.
P.S.
When a Pats fan threw beer at Tyreek Hill in 2018, I basically said, "who cares?" Tyreek Hill was taunting fans, is a documented scumbag, and who doesn't love free beer? I stand by any Tyreek Hill slander. Fuck that guy forever! In honor of Pride Month, every Song of the Day for the month of June will be by an LGBTQ+ artist. If you're not an ally, you can scram from DOL! Song: Smalltown Boy (2020) Artist: Orville Peck I've been a huge Orville Peck guy since the first time I ever heard him and loved this song when it came out last year, but full disclosure, I legit JUST learned that "Smalltown Boy" is a cross-genre cover of an all-gay New Wave band, Bronski Beat. I had zero clue "Smalltown Boy" wasn't an original until I went to Youtube to add to this blog, but that only makes the song that much more powerful knowing it was written in the 80s. These stories are not new; they're just more in the open now. Bonus: Original Bronski Beat video from 1984. |
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