ICYMI: The New England Patriots have won six Supers Bowls since 2001 and played in an additional three just for fun on top of that! Elementary school math will tell us that is a grand total of nine Super Bowl appearances since 2001.
With the exception of the 2002 and '08, the Pats have been a playoff team every year since their first Super Bowl win. In the previously mentioned years they finished tied for 1st in the AFC East (9-7 in '02 and 11-5 in '08) but missed the playoffs due to tiebreakers; so it's not exactly like the Pats had a lot of lean years during the Brady-Belichick era.
While making the playoffs doesn't necessarily mean you're a good team (ex. 2004 Rams, 2010 Seahawks, 2014 Panthers and whoever wins the NFC East most seasons) in the most rudimentary of terms....the Patriots have been a good team for almost 20 straight years.
Because of that, the Pats haven't spent too much time as underdogs. It makes sense. When you win 12 games a year, you're probably going to be favored a lot (if not always). I'm sure you'd believe me if I told you University of Alabama Football has only been an underdog once since 2009. I don't want to sound like Colin Cowherd, but when you're consistently among the best in your field, you're going to be expected to perform well. Now that Tom Brady is in Tampa and Cam Newton has COVID, tonight's Patriots game against the Chiefs will be just the 3rd time since 2002 where they're are at least a 7-point dog.
What's even crazier is that tonight's fake-MNF game is the first time since SUPER BOWL XXXVI on February 3rd, 2002 (I'll gladly tell the readers I was in FOURTH GRADE) that the Patriots are a double-digit underdog. For reference, in their final year under that name, the 2019 Washington Redskins were a double-digit underdog EIGHT times.
What's even crazier than that is Little Casaer's New $3.49 Stuffed Crazy Bread!!!
Just kidding, although that bread is super crazy; cheese INSIDE breadsticks, WITH Mariana sauce? Next you're gonna tell me you can get half one topping, half a different topping too.
What is truly insane, absurd, bizarre, ridiculous and preposterous is Bill Belichick's record as the Patriots Head Coach in games where they're underdogs by 10 points or more.
That's right! Bill Belichick is UNDEFEATED while coaching the Patriots as a 10+ point dog with an astounding 4-0 record in such games. While 4-0 is 4-0, you may want to double check that stat before placing any bets on the Pats tonight (and not just because SB XXVI is a typo).
Did you spot it? All of those games were played during the 2001 season. You know? Back when TRL was appointment TV.
S/o anybody who remembers this "band".
While saying "Bill Belichick has never lost a game as Patriots Head Coach as a double digit underdog" is accurate, so is "Winston Churchill never used an iPhone" or "Martin Luther King, Jr didn't know how to send an email". Circumstance matters.
This is very similar to the whole notion that the Patriots couldn't win a road playoff game going into the 2018 AFC Championship Game because they hadn't won on the road since 2006. Sports media made it seem like the Patriots were the Atlanta Braves in the playoffs. It'd be one thing if they were 0-6 on the road, like how Chiefs were in the playoffs at home from 1995-2017, but the Patriots played two whole road playoff games from 2007-2017 (2013 & '15 AFCCG; both in Denver). In closing, numbers lie all the fucking time and if you take this stat as anything other than "holy shit the 2001 run really was miraculous" than I suggest you take off your Patriot blinders. While I do believe in coach Belichick, I don't believe in Brian Hoyer. Sure, I might sprinkle Pats ML, but that's only because the Too Many Legs Teaser has literally never lost.
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HOLY SHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM ACTUALLY WRITING THIS BLOG BUT WE DID IT! The Too Many Legs Teaser has hit, AGAIN!!!!
It wasn't easy, but for the third straight week the DOL Two Many Legs Teaser of the Week has cashed out! This time I had people riding with me, which made it an even sweeter victory. Obviously winning to increase both my bankroll and marketability with Barstool Sports is nice, but I got to be a hashtag good guy by helping others.
There's no better feeling than helping others while also helping yourself and stroking your own ego. It's why I don't understand Jeff Bezos. If I was that bald fuck, I'd pass out a few billion to end homelessness or hunger on the regular purely for the amount of love I'd get and how legendary it'd make me. He could be in the news everyday for being the biggest hashtag good guy of the new millennia, but I guess not everybody is about the hashtag good guy life.
Time to get back on track. After starting the 1:00 PM games 6-0 I was a little worried that I should've just stayed in one time slot. We needed Bears +9 and over 47 in Bills/Raiders to close out the teaser and by the grace of the football God's it happened.
I feel GREAT!!!! The fan is fine! I can't wait to have the Too Many Legs Teaser hit again next week before enjoying a nice Monday off thanks to Indigenous People's Day. #HireDozo
Disclaimer: Only gamble legally AND responsibly. I don't want anybody losing their sporting goods store because I'm trying to show Barstool how many hats I can wear #HireDozo.
It's Week 4 of the 2020 NFL Season and the Too Many Legs Teaser of the Week has literally never lost. 2-0 this season. (Week 3 Recap)
I'm 16-0 picking teaser legs the last two weeks; 22-1 overall in 2020 (The Too Many Legs Teaser of the Week was born Week 2, even though I retroactively referred to my first teaser of the year as such in this tweet).
Football is the ultimate game of adjustments and that cliché, is being put to the test as we have already one game rescheduled to Week 7 (Titans-Steelers) and the status of Patriots @ Chiefs is still very much up in the air after Cam Newton tested positive for COVID-19; although as I write this blog, news has come out that no other Patriots have tested positive. It appears we're looking at a Monday Night Football double-header.
The Patriots, Chiefs, Titans and Steelers have all been used at some point in the Too Many Legs Teaser so I too have to adjust. I loved teasing the original over of Pats-Chiefs down, but now with Brian Hoyer technically playing QB, I am not touching that game with a 6 foot pole.
The last two weeks I have been absolute gambling rollercoasters where I didn't spend a ton of time researching, I just used my brain and football IQ. Despite the new format, that won't change here despite minor write ups about why I'm including each pick.
Bucs -1 (from -7)
Of all the games I'm teasing this week, I feel the most confident about Bucs -1. Even with no Godwin or Fournette the Bucs still have enough to outscore the Chargers who are 30th in the NFL in scoring, despite being 6th in yards. Tom Brady is in his third decade of professional football and Justin Herbert is making his first career road start. After a bad week one, Brady seems to have things figured out. Give me the Bucs.
I think this is the week we finally see Gronk reach the end zone.
Browns + 9.5 (from +3.5) and OVER 50 (from over 56)
Neither of these teams play a lick of defense. Dallas has allowed the 29th most points in the league and the Browns aren't much better at 24th. Let's not forget Dem Cowboys are an onside kick away from being 0-3. For the first time since December of 2014 the Browns have a winning record (2-1). Sure, I'm a little worried that this is the type of matchup that has "get right game for the Cowboys" written all over it, but I Baker has been really good at handing off the ball to Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt. I think the Browns can keep it close and both teams score 24+ so give me that teased over even though as I type this I'm never serious second thoughts.
Seahawks +0.5 (from -5.5)
People in sports media are trying to talk the Dolphins upset into existence, I just don't see it. Russell Wilson is 14-4 on the east coast according to Steve Mariucci on NFL Network this morning and Fitzpatrick just had his Fitzmagic moment last week. Against a suspect at best Seahawks defense, we may see glimpses of Fitzmagic, but the common sense play here is Seahawks at essentially a pick-em, even with the long trip from Seattle.
Bears +9 (from +6)
I don't think Phil Rivers will fair well in Bear weather. Big Dick Nick just needs to keep it within single digits. Bears are 3-0, but getting zero respect. I might have to sprinkle Chicago ML.
Saints +3 (from -3)
Michael Thomas is out and Drew Brees looks like he's 84 years old (huge that he's playing in a dome), but again, we don't need to overthink and get cute. The Lions won last week to end an 11 game losing streak dating back to last season. Do we really think the Saints are going to start 1-3 AND the Lions are going to win back-to-back games? I don't, but even if that somehow happens it won't be by more than a FG so we've got a little breathing room, but Saints win outright.
Bengals +5 (from -1)
At 0-2-1, the Bengals are so close to a win you can taste it. Joe Burrow is playing great while Gardiner Minshew is looking great with his bodacious stache. I don't think this Jaguars team can beat anybody by a touchdown so Bengals +5 it is.
Bills/Raiders OVER 47 (from 53)
Last week the Bills went up 28-3 before going down 32-28 and ultimately winning 35-32. That's 67 points in total. I'm not saying it'll be that high, but this Bills team can both score and give up scores rather quickly. I think the Raiders are gonna come out hot after getting shut down last week in Foxboro. We'll likely see the winner in the 30's so I feel comfortable with over 47.
Again, please gamble responsibly and legally. After starting the season 22-1, the eyes are on me, but let's not forget that I don't love the board today. #HireDozo.
It's Saturday, so I've only been up for about 45 minutes, but talk about hashtag not-ideal news to wake to... According to Adam Schefter, Ian Rapoport, Field Yates AND Tom Pelissero, New England Patriots QB Cam Newton has tested positive for COVID-19.
Because credit is what really matters at a time like this! Cam's positive tests comes just days after the NFL had to postpone this week's Steelers-Titans game because of an outbreak amongst Titans players and staff.
Originally, the news said Cam was out for Sunday's game, but in the time it took for me to shower and start this blog it appears postponement is inevitable (as it should be).
I have no clue how Cam caught COVID, but I find it hard to believe the quarterback of an NFL team would be the only person in the building to contract the virus, but according to the Patriots (who would can ALWAYS trust for transparency) that is exactly the case.
We have to lie and say that safety is the biggest priority, even though actions from other recently positive people say otherwise, but postponing this game is 100% the right move as there's a great chance other players/coaches could test positive in the coming days.
It's about time I mention the 2020 caveat, obviously there are more important things going on in this country and on this planet than Cam Newton missing this game, but Cam vs the suspect KC defense would've been an interesting match-up to say the least.
This is the time to make this news about me (and all other gamblers riding a heater to start the season), if the NFL gets shut down I'm gonna be so mad online.
It's week four and we're about to have our 2nd game of the season postponed whenever the news is officially-official; who knows how much more of a season we'll actually have? I am officially warning the rest of the NFL with peace and love to not get the season cancelled, even though we know the NFL will do everything it can to keep it going. Wishing for a speedy recovery, Cameron. -1ØVĒ
P.S.
Unfortunately, this medical update is going to totally take away attention from Cam Newton's incredible DIY-moon roof hat he wore at his presser this week. Such a shame. |
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