I mean, that tweet says it all, but as someone who unfortunately has some real-life experience from a situation similar to this major bombshell at Barstool Sports, I felt like I should weigh in.
Ur boi Ole Dozo is 30 now, but back when I was 18 years old, well before my brain fully developed, I made the second biggest mistake of my life. Early into my freshman year at URI, like October 2010 (honestly, it might've even happened for the first time in late September because she made me a man on October 16th, 2010; tragically, the same day Eric Legrand got paralyzed), I hurt and betrayed one of my best friends by hooking up with and eventually dating his girlfriend while he was at college halfway across the country. Much like Marty Mush's excuses, I was in a similar friend group, so we would go to parties together, and it sort of just happened. I mean, I was an 18-year-old virg, and a cute, normal sized chick took an interest in my fat ass (oh, what I'd give now to be the size I was when I got to URI). This was not something that happened for Dozah at the time or really since. I made out with two (2) girls in high school, and that wasn't until my senior year...and one was a freshman who was friends with my sister, and the other was a sophomore that my friends basically tricked me into thinking liked me, then we ended up "dating" for like two months in early 2010. But at the end of the day, I made a selfish decision that I knew would have dire consequences, but I didn't care cause I was thinking with my dick. Please stop reading this blog, mom. You could argue that I'm still feeling the repercussions a dozen years later. I feel like I've been cursed ever since for my scumbag behavior. I've had minimal luck with women post-this; I've had one relationship since we broke up. I high key have e.d. and fucked up my entire college trajectory. Instead of branching out and meeting new people and getting the whole college experience, I started dating someone from my high school class. I was in 13th grade at the University of Rhode Island. When everybody else was making new friends and crushing random puss, I was the MORON who had a serious girlfriend in college. Well, not even a year later, in the summer of 2011, I got a taste of my own medicine. She got drunk and cheated on me, just like she had done with me to someone who today I consider one of, if not my "official" best friend. I was crushed and wanted to break up, but I was still in love. I'll never forget when she came to my house (unannounced) crying, apologizing, with a new copy of Madden 12 for PS3. We reconciled, but that NYE, she did it again, and again we didn't break up. By this time, the writing was on the wall. We had fallen out of love. I wanted to end it but was too big of a pussy; I had never dumped someone before. So I basically Costanza-ed it, being shittier and shittier until she left me. I don't even know if he did something like that, but it feels like a George move. By summer 2012, we were officially broken up, even though we never had that official break-up conversation. I went to Florida to visit my family and basically didn't text her for a few days, and it was over, although I technically ended it on Facebook if that shit matters to you. So now I'm 20 years old, summer before my junior year of college, and while people were assembling their new college crews, I did none of that, as I was wrapped up in my relationship. I was in this weird limbo. I mean, I still had my friends from my hometown, but I didn't meet too many new people or branch out nearly as much as I thought I would going into college, and it felt too late at this point (even though, in retrospect I know that's not entirely the case, although it also sorta was) We hooked up a few times that summer, and by the fall of 2012, even though there was "no label on it" because 20-year-olds are the fucking worst, we were back together. Things were going well, I thought what we had was awesome, but there was this dark cloud over our heads: studying abroad. We both knew that she was going to Australia for the 2nd semester. We tried to make it work, but in February 2013, she basically went from loving and missing me one day to hating my guts the next. When she got back to the U.S. at first, it was over-over, but we'd hang out here and there, hooking up a little bit, but less and less frequently. Like an idiot, I was still in love with her even after getting an unwanted present from the outback. Our summer apart in 2012 really made me realize that I still cared about this girl despite being cheated on at least twice.
I joke and call it my redshirt senior year of college, but I was in school for five years, ten semesters, so the first five are the dating semesters, and then the last five are all the bull shit, games, and manipulation ones. I wanted to get back together and would get false hope constantly...I still have screenshots. During my first senior year (2013-14), we fucked a few times, but then she'd always be like this was a mistake blah, blah, blah, but she knew that I was her insurance. I'd come crawling back because I had no self-esteem whenever she'd hit me up, but that phase of our "relationship" was like dynamite for my mental health. Then during my redshirt senior year, she had already graduated on time, but we'd see each other here or there. In early 2015 I thought we'd get back together, but that never happened, and it all came to a crashing halt on May 17th, 2015, the day I graduated college, which I documented in a blog back in 2016. In 2022, I still feel the aftershocks because we're both friends with the same couple, and there's always the elephant in the room if I'm even allowed in the room. I can't reminisce about college without thinking of her since she was such a major part of that experience. The romantic feelings for her are gone, but there are still wounds from that relationship that have never healed.
I tell you this story because I put all this terrible shit on myself. It's my fault. I let myself kiss her that night at my friend's brother's party. Had I been a better friend to my guy and o-line brethren, with a little more self-control, none of this would've ever happened. Who knows how the rest of college plays out? Maybe I'm not some 400-pound depressed piece of shit that Ub**s as a career? Maybe my social skills would've developed? Obviously, over a decade later, there's not anything I can do about my actions in 2010, and weirdly, I feel like my douche bag move made our friendship stronger (sometimes I feel like he secretly hates my guts lol). I don't know, I love the kid like a brother and genuinely wish I never hurt him, but I can't do anything about the past now. All I can do is use my life experience to be a better man and help others. Even though I never fucked with Marty Mush and don't have a single ounce of desire to help him, maybe I can help someone else. If you ever find yourself in a situation like little ole, brain still developing 18-year-old Dozah or 30-year-old, grown-ass adult Marty Mush, think long and hard about your actions. They could have consequences for the rest of your life. Marty Mush had a dream job that he didn't deserve. I've never found him funny, entertaining, or bringing anything special to the table, but some did. Maybe he was good in the streams, I don't know, I never really watched them because I don't like his schtick, but he threw it all away for some mid pussy. Unless they get married and live happily ever after, he threw away the best job on earth too for a fling. Like it's not that hard to understand, the Pirate Ship will keep going without you. To me, it seems like Marty thought he was way more valuable than he really is and could survive this. I 1000% stand with Pres and Big Cat here. Hank is a made man who's been with the company since he was like 18. He's a Milton guy and a vital part of the company. At best, Marty Mush is a role player who angered essential people at Barstool. It's really not that hard to understand. Not everybody is the same. Jayson Tatum and Nik Stauskas don't have the same leash with the Celtics. If Marty did this to fucking Big T (who I also don't fw) or even Nate, Big Cat and Pres aren't responding the way they did and are probably laughing. Plain and simple. To be so fucking stupid to think this wouldn't have potential career-ending repercussions is so textbook idiot Marty Mush. I genuinely don't get how anybody liked him, even before this. His value was being in the mix with the gambling guys. His only job was not to piss them off, and he went and started dating their internet son/brother's ex.
Earlier this year, the whole Ohio's Tate thing gave a glimpse into Marty's character, or lack thereof. He'll NEVER be a hashtag good guy. Now you could be like, Doz, you did a very similar thing to this Ria situation and call yourself a hashtag good guy literally thousands of times per week. How could this be? Well, again, I was 18 and a chubby virgin. (Even though what I did was wrong, I feel like some people could understand) Marty Mush is neither of those things and works for one of the coolest companies on earth. I'm sure he and his fake teeth were doing just fine in the pussy department. Like Big Cat said, New York, is a massive city with over 8 million people. Find somebody else. Now you put everybody in an incredibly awkward position and they don't fuck with you anymore. That's the bed YOU made. Sure, it makes for entertaining content, but Hank shouldn't have to explain all this shit. Although, he sorta ended up on top. #TeamHank
A small part of me agrees with what Hank said on DPS, Ria is a grown woman, and in today's day in age, it's a bad look for men to rip into her for her personal choices, but like this was a terrible choice. She'll be fine career-wise but, Marty Mush isn't handsome or cool. Maybe he's piped up? I don't know; I judge dudes, and I don't see the appeal. I get it that Ria and Hank are over, but they dated for like four years. That's how long college is supposed to be. It's a decent chunk of your life, especially for people their age. You might not have feelings anymore, but you should have a baseline of respect for someone you shared a home with. Like, I don't have feelings for my most recent ex anymore; I think one of her friends is cute and that we'd probably get along great, but I'd NEVER pursue it out of respect for my ex.
Sure, Ria's girls will have her back, and that's their right, but she deserves a large piece of the blame pie in this situation, especially when she and Hank allegedly agreed not to date anybody in the office post-breakup. She decides who gets to park in her garage. Now, Barstool can't and won't officially fire Marty over this decision, but everything Pres and Big Cat have said is spot on. It's a business, and to Dave's credit, he's loyal AF, but if you cross him, you're fucked, and that's exactly what Marty did here. To me, he's someone who doesn't respect what Dave built by doing this to one of his foxhole guys. It's trash behavior by a trash person. He had zero remorse. At least I felt bad for hurting my friend and making shit super weird for two years. From the content I've seen, Marty doesn't feel bad at all and if anything, has doubled down on his actions. One of the many things that make Barstool so great is the relationships and the humor that develops from them. Marty's job is very relationship-based. Ria has a successful brand that doesn't interact with the gambling side of the company. She can survive this. Marty can't. Maybe he'll prove us wrong in the next eight months, but I wouldn't bet on it.
P.S.
If you're looking for someone to replace that Rat Mush at the company, I can actually string a sentence together, have a vast depth of weird brain knowledge, and created a teaser series that went +47U in 2020. Recently, I went 4-0 on Celtics live ML bets for a 5.2U night. #HireDozo
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
October 2024
|
RSS Feed