With the 2010s coming to a close it is my job here at DOL to reminiscence about the decade that was. A few weeks ago I lead off the series with baseball. The 2nd installment of the #DOL2010sCloseout is on the songs of the 2010s.
Music is on my Mount Rushmore of the best things about being alive, along with love (all forms), tree and the feeling after your team wins a championship (12 times so far) Music is one of the most public, yet private things that most of us experience on a daily basis. Unless you're deaf or a freak-show you likely listen to music. We all have our favorites. It is literally the soundtrack of our lives. There's songs I've been listening to for over 20 years that were already over 20 years old when I was born. We all have different ways were learn and remember things, for me music is a huge piece of history and how I process time. The two are forever intertwined. When you say "Good Charlotte" I am brought back to 5th grade in my brain, watching the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous music video on a 13 inch white TV with a VCR built in from mere inches away in my grandparent's kitchen.
"Single Ladies" by Beyonce, despite my apathy towards her, will always have a special place in my heart from the memories it brings from my Junior year of high school. I go back to where I was, what I was doing, who I was with, what I(we) was (were) dealing with when said song came into my life. There is an immense emotional connection between music and experience. We all hear music. but one song can have 30 different meanings to 30 different people.
As I mature with DOL, so do my tastes and views on art. Even though I do it all the time, how can somebody say one song from a completely different genre is better than another? It's like saying Charles Barkley was better than Jason Varitek. Yeah he was, but how do you really compare the two? For years I have tried to stay true to myself here, but of course the influence of others seeps in. Sometimes on list blogs there may a pander here or there. I can promise you none of that will be present here and going forward. This is my list of 210 (and then some) songs from the 2010s that I LOVE. Many may be the big hits you're expecting, but a lot of this is going to be weird shit that I like and want to share with the world (18 readers). Lots of less popular songs by artists that dominated the decade that I just personally enjoy more than the mega hits. Also included: some mega hits. 2010 songs would've taken me another decade, so I chopped off a zero and went with 210 (and then some). It's gonna be a doozy, if you don't wanna read the playlists are on Apple Music and will be linked to the blog before I even get started. The years are a loose guideline. I tried to go with date released if it was a single and album date if it was a deep track. This is not carved in stone and although I am a stickler for years, in some cases there is a debate to be had. There is no significance to the order of any of these songs. Only ranking will be in my top 30 and tbh I'm still debating ranking the entire 30. Might just do 10 and honorable mentions. First installment here we go.. — Doz (very niche!) #hiredozo (@DozonLife) December 23, 2019
2010:
Oh 2010, a year of many significant life markers for the boy. It doesn't seem too long ago. I graduated high school, lost my v card, started college and did edibles for the first time. It was a great year! At this point in my life my tastes were much more mainstream, which is to be expected at this age. A lot of stuff here I've retroactively loved. I'd say my tastes were more diverse genre wise from listening to "pop radio". Originally I wasn't going to include songs that came out in late 2009, but I decided to bend my own stupid rule. This change came late, so it's not like the floodgates opened, but there's a handful of songs that came out from late 09.
"Everlasting Light" The Black Keys
Hearing this falsetto live is still one of the coolest things I've ever witnessed in person. My friends and I lost our shit. Although we saw it at the complete opposite of Coachella.....Hartford, CT.
"These Days" The Black Keys
Dan Auberbach at his most vulnerable. More off this album to come.
"Nightcall" Kavinsky
Like you, I only know this song from the movie Drive, but damnit this song is just cool. Sets the tone for an awesome movie if you like cars, sex, violence and complicated family dynamics.
"Senior Skip Day" Mac Miller
My first introduction to Mac Miller. Absolutely loved this song and played it non-stop then proceeded to listen to almost nothing by him until his untimely death. Shame on Dozo.
"Home For The Holidays" J. Cole
Loved bumping this freshmen year of college for my 12 minute drive home from URI.
"The MC" Wale
I remain a Giant and you Jeremy Shockey.
When I was really into rap was obsessed with Wale. Here's a brief I'm so cool I knew about him before you story; I was in this facebook sports discussion forum when I first joined in '06 (this could've happened in 07 or 08) and there was a dude from D.C. that was always talking about Wale and that's how I learned about Wale (not Whale).
"The Soup" Wale
I'd love to know how many other people feel this way but More About Nothing is my favorite mixtape of the decade. It came out the month before I started college and I feel like that's all I was listening to then.
"As We Enter" Nas & Damien Marley
I worked in a kitchen the summer going into college (and the two previous), this album must've been played 17 times.
"How I Got Over" The Roots
We also listened to this constantly in the Willows kitchen
"Power", "All of the Lights" Kanye West
Groundbreaking album.
"Pyro" Kings of Leon
"Come Around Sundown" wasn't nearly as commercially successful as "Only By The Night" but KOL followed up their breakout album with some classics that true fans probably like more than "Use Somebody"
"The End" Kings of Leon
I am a big Kings of Leon guy.
"The Face" Kings of Leon
When I left for Nashville in 2017 to teach their for 20 minutes I felt like I was giving up New York (writing/barstool dream) for Tennessee.
"Better Than Revenge" Taylor Swift
Keeping it in the music city, Yes Taylor Swift. I listened to this album a ton idgaf. This is a medium key a pop-punk song.
SHE THINKS I'M PYSCHO CAUSE I LIKE TO RHYME HER NAME WITH THINGS... I see you Taylor.
"Haunted" Taylor Swift
This shit still slaps.
"Welcome to the Family", "Dangerline" Avenged Sevenfold
My OG friends remember my 8th/9th grade screen-name; AveNGeRYanfold
holy emo
"Need You Now" Lady Antebellum
This song was EVERYWHERE (Michelle Branch) my senior year of high school. Country crossovers to Top 40 Radio weren't unheard of at this point, but if memory serves me right they weren't dominating just yet. I'll use this line a lot; one of those songs that most people liked (at the time) regardless of their favorite genre.
“Tik Tok” Ke$ha
I watched some Glee in high school, sue me. Key dollar sign HA is my biggest takeaway from that program. TIKTOK absolutely dominated radio and house parties alike. Too much fun.
"California Gurls" Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg
I LOVED Katy Perry at this point in my life. Had a poster of her in this video on my dorm wall.
"Misery" Maroon 5
LOVED Maroon 5 growing up.
"Bottoms Up" Trey Songz ft. Nicki Minaj
Synonymous with my freshmen year of college.
"Like a G6" Far East Movement ft. Cataracs and DEV
Our first one hit wonder on the countdown, but surely not the last. I think I heard this song at every party I went to my freshmen year. Still kinda fire.
Wow after some fact checking they have another top 10 hit called Rocketeer....holy shit this is a real time reaction completely forgot about that song omg....not nearly the same staying power. This is a Vanilla Ice situation all over again. Still a one hit wonder in my eyes.
"Airplanes" B.o.B. (featuring Hayley Williams of Paramore)
B.o.b. remember him? Dude was everywhere in 2010 then fell off the face of the earth. Kind of funny looking back at "Hayley Williams of Paramore" when he's the one people need a clue recognizing.
"Fuck You" Ceelo Green
A song with Fuck You in the chorus and title went number 1. That gets you forever legend status in my book.
Bonus Darryl's house version.
"Black and Yellow" Wiz Khalifa
Ironically, I forgot to add this originally because like Wiz I enjoy the sweet cheeba. Maybe the biggest song of my freshmen year of college. Could not escape it. TGOD!
"40 Day Dream" and "Home" Edward Sharpe and Magnetic Zeros
Two beautiful songs that just make me happy. Couldn't name a third song by them for a million bucks.
"Little Lion Man", "Dust Bowl Dance" Mumford and Sons
09/10 borderline depending on how you break it down which is why I changed my own rule. We'll hear more from "Sigh No More" later. Classic Mumford sound that I fell in love with.
"Rivers and Roads" The Head and the Heart
Hope you have tissues/a dark colored sleeve.
"No Hurry", "Knee Deep", Honestly could include the entire album... Zac Brown Band
Without question my favorite "country" album of the decade. I own a physical copy somewhere.
"Mr. Rager", "Erase Me" Kid Cudi
I could break my own fake rule and include all of Man on the Moon (09) but I won't.
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The man whose story inspired my favorite movie of all time, Remember the Titans, Coach Herman Boone, has passed away at the age of 84. Reunited with Coach Yoast in Heaven. Yoast passed away in March at 94.
It's sort of weird writing about a man who you best know from a movie, that came out when you were 8. For the most part Remember the Titans paints an accurate picture of Coach Boone's story; at least in 1971. He was the first black Head Coach in a very tumultuous time in the Mid-Atlantic at newly integrated school (even though if Brown vs. Board of Education was a person it could've had its learners permit by now). While the movie make take some liberties with what really went down by peppering in a man-on-man locker-room smooch or underselling how dominant the Titans actually were in 1971; 9 of the T.C. Titans 14 wins were shutouts according to wiki. Its depiction of the struggles African Americans faced were real. The racism was real. The adversity Boone faced while coaching was real. The lives he touched were real. I'd imagine Herman Boone must've been a pretty solid man to not only have this movie get made, but to have the ultimate honor of portrayal by the one and only, Denzel. After 5 minutes of research; the least I could do for the man who is indirectly responsible for entertaining me for months of my life. Here's some factual Herman Boone information. Boone was a pillar of the community and a trail blazer; the only black head coach in 1971 North Virginia. Not only was he the football coach but he also taught PE and drivers Ed. Boone is responsible for bending racial division in the shadow of Jim Crow. Herman battled lung cancer and made a public appearance only a few weeks before his death. 2019 has not been kind for the T.C. Titans; Julius Campbell, Coach Yoast, Petey Jones, Coach Boone's wife Carol all died.
With Kevin Garnett and Adam Sandler doing the media circuit promoting "Uncut Gems" it's only natural for questions about the 2007-08 Boston Celtics to come up. In an interview with perhaps the most famous Celtic fan of all time, Bill Simmons, KG had this to say about Lebron James and his move to the Miami Heat in the Summer of 2010.
When KG reiterates that they "broke Lebron", Simmons asks "in Game 5?" (referring to the 2012 Eastern Conference Finals). KG doesn't say yes.
Not to put myself in KG's body (I would've been NASTY) but I don't think what he said was all that wrong. Since he played for the C's aka cool-guy, NBA twitter's favorite team to bash, he got dragged.
Lebron James destroyed the Boston Celtics and my dreams in Game 6 of the 2012 Eastern Conference Finals. Unlike the Moon landing, there is no denying that. IMO it's the most important game of Lebron's career; including the NBA Finals. It completely changed the narrative of his entire career to that point. He transformed from losing choke artist to all-time great. Of course he had to win it all, but that game is his version of Peyton Manning's 06 AFC Championship.....slaying the beast that had always gotten in the way en route to his first title. Clearly Lebron wasn't broken then.
As was seen in 28-and-feeling-greatful.html people can change over time. Lebron wasn't broken in 2012 but scoffing at KG saying the Celtics "broke" Lebron or whatever you wanna say is fucking true. Especially in 2010. Sure, Comic Sans Gilbert is a big time dummy and all-time bad owner. That totally factored in, but the fact of the matter is the Celtics beat two (2) Cavalier teams on their way to NBA Finals appearances in 2008 (win) and 2010. You can say he was young and those teams were better, but Lebron straight up quit on the Cavs in 2010. I get it, a lot of time has passed. It's easy to mis-remember. Lebron's won three rings since and the can't win the big one narrative is long gone. That's cool and all but please do not for one second forget the OG Lebron narrative. The Celtics were his kryponite. He couldn't win the big one. LBJ joined the Miami Heat to create a superteam to defeat this aging superteam. Lebron had the last laugh, no doubt. But I really don't give a fuck about any of that (lol..totes) What I care about is this dragging of the Celtics for only winning in 2008. Oh my bad KG got hurt in Utah. The 2008-09 Celtics were better than the team that actually won. I think a lot of players would tell you that. They started 27-2 and still won over 60 games despite losing KG. Losing KG was the death blow for a team that likely would've won it all again had they stayed healthy. The following season they won only 50 games, giving them the 4 seed. Matching them up with the 1 seed Cavs in the 2nd round. That year they killed the Heat, first run Lebron Cavs and Dwight Howard's defending Eastern Conference Champion Magic before losing a heartbreaking game 7 on the road to Kobe Bryant (Perk was hurt!!!). There has been a lot of chatter about how the Big 3 Celtics only won one title together. How they act like they were a dynasty. That need to stop talking. Tons of Paul Pierce slander. I am here for none of it.
Yes, the Big 3 Celtics only hoisted the Larry O'Brien once, but they weren't some one year wonder. I just explained 09 and 10. Let's not forget 2011 and the Perk trade. That ruined everything, oh and D-Wade tried to cut Rondo's arm off. 2012 in the Big 3 Celtics final act they took the eventual champs to Game 7. The 07-08 Celtics brought the NBA's most storied franchise its first title since 1986. They absolutely destroyed everybody in the regular season, winning 66 games. The Big Three changed the modern NBA. Teams had multiple superstars before but this trio was just different, and in year one the got it done. The are why the Miami Heat happened, they are why the Golden State Warriors happened. It's too bad they teamed up so late in their careers. Would've been something to see Paul, KG and Ray together starting in like 2003. All champions are not created equal. Some teams only win once but are remembered forever. The 2006 Cardinals and 2008 Phillies are not the same. The 2000 Ravens are thought of by many as the best defense ever, should Rod Woodson not say that because they didn't repeat? I know football is different, but wtf? The 2008 Celtics have historic significance. The amount of stories and content this team has generated over the years is a homeless version of the 85 Bears. The whole Ray Allen feud alone, cmon. The internet age has caused the 08 Celtics to hang around. They are why we have Kobe How My Ass Taste? That's the Super Bowl Shuffle for people my age! That team was all-time with the characters on that roster. Now as the years keep going we hear more and more stories about the 08 C's. Yeah they weren't a dynasty but are still a vital part of NBA History. Have some damn respect for the best power forward of his generation.
Today is College Football National Signing Day. Since I am a URI alum it means absolutely nothing to me. Hard to get fired up over half star recruits and 3-9 seasons. I used to love college ball until I started working Saturdays while I myself was in college (plus Tim Tebow graduated). Slowly I stopped paying attention to Saturday football. Nowadays I have a general idea of what's going on in College Football but couldn't name 5 non-QBs. Chase Young is the only one that comes to mind off the top of my head.
In "holy shit, you're old" news, all-time leading NFL rusher, Emmitt Smith's son, EJ signed with Stanford University.
When asked what advice Emmitt had for his son, the three-time Super Bowl champion had this to say:
Via: https://www.si.com/college/2019/12/18/ej-smith-commit-stanford
"I can wear this hat but he doesn't have to wear this hat," Emmitt Smith told ESPN2. "His daddy went there, but that doesn't mean that my son has to go there. At the end of the day, my son has his own journey and it is his journey, not my journey. For him to do the things that are best for him is what we teach all of our children. I'm proud of him for standing up and being the man that he is and the man that he will continue to become."
God damn if that isn't the most beautiful thing you'll see all day. After all, it sure as shit wasn't this.
I've searched for five minutes to see if his Christian name is actually EJ or if he's Emmitt too and goes by this. For his sake let's hope its not Emmitt. I cannot stand juniors to begin with. It's magnified 450x when a celebrity does it. We need more Stevie Nicks, go your own way!
Now I don't know either Emmitt (although my cousin did sit next to him at him while graduating from UF and didn't know who he was) or his son, but to hear that support from his old man who is an all-time legend at the University of Florida is fucking awesome. "Find what's best for you and make it happen for yourself" If that isn't what all kids what to hear. It wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility to think he'd "make" his son pick his school. I'm sure there's plenty of parents who would strongly push, if not force their school on their son. When you're the all time leading rusher of the National Football League it's easy to have a big head and not back down. 22 didn't. From that sub-90 second clip I am all for Emmitt Smith writing a parenting book. I don't need to go any further in trying to be a psychologist but G damnit when I saw this it made me happy, best of luck to EJ at Stanford. With yesterday being my 28th birthday (who cares?) I’ve officially avoided the #27Club. Not everybody can be so lucky. The whole birthday thing, combined with the end of the decade has caused me to do some serious reflecting. Reminiscing like I’m in the Little River Band Thankfully, I’ve grown from the man-child I was on February 29th, 2016 when I posted my first blog on DOL. Instead of dedicating my birthday to charity to give the illusion of being philanthropic like everybody on Facebook who raised five whole dollars for cancer, please allow me take the next few minutes to explain the last four years (and then some). A journey of one step forward, eight steps back that has brought me to the point I am currently; in hope of helping others. For the first time in years, maybe decades; I’m happy. Or at the very least, happier. Life’s not perfect by any means, but I want to see where it goes. I’m not ready to check out just yet. I feel that life is worth living, that I am worth it and the future is bright. The last few years have not been easy, but they shaped me into who I am today. Like Florence (Welch) said for the first time in human history in 2011’s Shake it Out “It’s always darkest before the dawn”. Buddy, it felt like I was draped in Pantone Black C Sabbath weighted blankets. Which of course, we all know is the darkest Pantone known to man. I would not be nearly as strong as I am right now without the days I felt like dying because they didn’t actually kill me. They were just coachable moments! Spoiler alert there were thousands of "coachable moments" that caused me to think I wouldn't be here today, but here I ammmm ***Rick Ross Voice*** When I started DOL in 2016, I did so without much of a plan (shocker). I had done some writing in the past on free Wordpress blogs; I “did” my senior project in high school on sports journalism for the now defunct scoutRI.org. s/o Brian Manfredi. Not long before I started DOL, some random nothing blog, whose name I legitimately forgot, reached out to me on Twitter. I feel like it was called "sideline stories" or some corny BS like that. Heroes might've been in the name. I wrote a few articles for them in January 2016, but they wanted me to only write about football. That’s like a restaurant owner telling Gordon Ramsey he can only make nachos. That’s when the light-bulb went off. As a lover and advocate of freedom, I decided to start my own blog. Over the last four years DOL has been my baby, my passion project and sample blog for that illusive Barstool dream. I'm beating a dead horse at this point but I fundamentally believe I was put on this earth to entertain and make people laugh. I know I'm good enough to work there. It's just about getting a chance because there's so much competition. Sure I’m no Roy Donk or Mookie Kramer, but I think I do alright. My IG has almost 50 followers! (only audio) DOL has been a timeline of the last four years and counting; filled with takes on sports, music, life in general + the awkward mess that is me. In a way it’s inadvertently been a scrapbook in my journey to “manhood". As an awkward fuck, I love writing. It gives me an outlet to express myself without having to actually talk to people out loud. Same reason why I’m great on tinder/bumble until it’s time to meet IRL. As someone who’s been described as having no on-deck circle for their thoughts, it’s nice to have a place where I can take the time to better try to get my point across. What started as a spin-off of a short lived “sports only” twitter account, @dozonsports pivoted into DozonLife. In thousands (hundreds?) of blogs since. I’ve hit on a variety of topics in (not so) popular culture. In the early days I made myself a focal point of my #content. (dozo-goes-on-okcupid.html, my-presidential-platform.html, dozo-the-dentist.html) 2016 is hands-down my favorite year of the 2010s. It's when DOL was born and I lost 120 pounds. I went from 376 to 256 lbs and was VERY open about my entire journey (important later). I followed Papi’s final season like a Deadhead, Pats went 14-2 and won the Super Bowl in semi-dramatic fashion. I was writing close to full time, going out on a bunch of dates (nbd). Ole Dozo was flying high. I was pretty, pretty, pretty close to living the life I wanted. Like the plot of an episode of Curb I was in for a few hiccups along the way. As I’ve gotten older and more accepting of the possibility this never goes past a passion project, I’ve weaned off the Dozah-centric content in attempts to not entirely sabotage my back-up career that I spent 5 years and 75,000 dollars completing the necessary training. I have no issue at all making fun of myself, combining the most serious issues with a light-hearted approach, or putting myself in an awkward position for a laugh. That being said, it has been formidable challenge to try to balance being an educator with a wannabe be barstool personality-type online. I’ve been in this limbo for four years of being half way between writing/making content and teaching. At war with myself and those around me. To paraphrase Ron Swanson, I was half-assing two things, instead of whole-assing one. IMO it has hindered me in both fields. At the end of the day my heart has never fully been in education. It’s just a job, but the fact that it was meaningful work appealed to me. Plus I was trying to make people who aren’t me happy. I love kids, but I hate being a disciplinarian or rule guy. That ain’t me. I hate how much schools harp on meaningless shit. Plus you’ve (likely) read my blog; I proofread like 36% of the time. I do not have the qualities you find in most teachers. I’m lazy, unorganized, think for myself, likely to pick favorites and hate reading. I was the stereotypical “class clown” my entire academic career so there is a great irony in me "picking" teaching as a career after being an ass-hole to countless teachers. I’ve always been able to make people laugh. One of the few benefits of being fat growing up lol. During high school all I cared about was sports and girls. I failed at both but did alright academically purely off of my above average, but still developing brain. I put in next to no effort and still was an A-B student to appease my parents. #Humblebrag. I’ve wanted to write about sports for as long as I can remember. For years people have been telling me to go into this field. All these people were entirely justified in their thinking, as I am brilliant, but not everybody felt that same way. Enter scene, Daddy. Now before I go any further I want to explicitly state that I have no ill will towards my old man. He’s a great, but complicated guy. I love my dad very much. More than any other man alive that hasn't won 6 Super Bowls. As a boomer, I get his POV, he’s old school AF, trying to do the best he can...this is just a vital part of my story and where I am today. There is a lot of shit I've left out out of respect for him and to not try and keep this under 10,000 words. After college, I didn’t get a job right away. I was still a pizza delivery driver. Like a lot of people my age (23), I still lived at home. Finding myself if you will. My dad helped me out a ton financially, as I lived there rent free after graduation, but the emotional support left a lot to be desired. He just wanted me to get a real job and chase the dream afterwards so I could “get off the payroll”. With hindsight I completely understand that. He did his time. It’s my turn now. But it’s not like I didn’t I want to be on my own, supporting myself too. I want my freedom. Sure I was a blogger in my dad’s basement but it’s not like I enjoyed being in my early-mid 20’s this way. I was trying, just not in a textbook way, which in his eyes wasn’t trying. I could tell my days at home were running out as my current living situation was Chernobyl level toxic. So I moved to Nashville, TN in August of 2017 for a teaching job 3 weeks into the school year in a very difficult inner city middle school .My rationale was if I’m gonna have to teach in a city, it might as well be a cool one that I want to live in. I wasn't escaping him. He fucking drove me to the Music City afterall. To again quote Florence “It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back”. And my move to Nashville was my attempt to Shake It Out. Needless to see my experience in Nash was horrid (why-im-already-back-in-rhode-island.html) as I lasted less than 3 months. At the time I don't think he truly understood how unhappy I was down there and how much I regretted completely uprooting everything in this shotgun life altering event. That I had to leave and while of course at times I still think "what if?", at the time I did what was the best for me. This put a strain on our relationship which caused me to go into an even deeper depression. After I got back to RI, it did not help things improve. I proceeded to gain back 2/3 of all the weight I lost in the time it takes to watch The Irishmen. Between the weight gain and feeling like a complete failure, I was at an all time low. I hated my life and every aspect of it (like I said earlier, there’s a lot more to it than what is posted here) I was someone who a few years earlier was using their weight loss story as a way to inspire others (and of course get a little ego boost from the love) only to put a majority of it back on and look like a complete FRAUD. Despite being huge, I never felt so small. As time went on, sure, once in a while there would be a good day, but for the most part everyday was hell. I was miserable, barely writing, eating my feelings, feeling incredibly alone and isolated in scuzzbag West Warwick with minimal prospect. It felt like I had nobody. That most of my "friends" had completely forget I was alive after I moved out of my hometown. Not shortly after in 2018 I started to try and break out again. I moved into a new place, I had a gf for first time since 2013 (aka somewhat-steady sex) the Sox and Pats both won it all. You’d think I would be at an all time high. OooooOoo not even a little bit. It wasn’t until earlier this year when I finally had enough. I didn’t wanna let these feelings be my undoing and have my lasting legacy be “suicide guy”. My divorced parents have both tried to get me to talk to someone for years and I always brushed it off. “I’m not a pussy, I don’t need that shit.” Textbook I need this shit behavior. I’m sure I could figure out the exact date with phone records but let’s just say in April 2019 I finally had enough. I broke down to my dad and told him how I was feeling and how low I had truly gotten. How broken I felt. How useless I felt. How much I hated my life. Not even two years prior I felt like I was finally getting my life in order. I was doing the whole adult thing. Now I was this fat, unhappy, loser with no will to live. How did things go so wrong, so quickly? My relationship with self-image and body positivity is a complicated one. While I do think all people should feel worthy enough of being loved, I don't think we need to celebrate people who are morbidly obese. I hate everything about Lizzo. It's not fucking okay and as someone who has dealt with weight problems for 75% of their life it drives me CRAZY. Finding a middle ground is something I still struggle with. It wasn’t until this summer when I started seeing a therapist and losing weight again that I slowly got myself back. Confidence came back. It didn’t happen overnight and is still something I have to work on everyday. I’m a depressed binge eater with anxiety who uses food to cope. Not an ideal combo! Of course I’m terrified that I’ll just put myself in the same situation again. I said all the right things in 2016 and ended up right back where I was before. I do think things will be different this time around because now I am conscious about how much I am in control. I honestly was so fucked up that I lost track of some of the most basic human functions. Talking to someone professionally has helped me shake the cobwebs off my brain and get back to my 2016-summer 2017 mindset. I had felt trapped for years, but this is my life. I’m the captain of my own ship. For years I’ve tried my best to be authentic to myself, but of course as a human I want to be accepted and liked as much as I’ll say I don’t care. Even on DOL I’ve been influenced by others to try and change my style to try and "make it" or cast a wider net. Fuck that noise. I am going to be me. As best as I can be. Throughout all of this I have regained the power to be authentic to me and what I want out of life. I think that’s why I got to the place that I did. As far as we know this is our only shot at life and I was living one I hated so much I’d rather just not have one. The irony here with my blog being called Doz on Life does not escape me. Although in a way talking about this is exactly what life is all about. It’s messy, it’s gross, it’s uncomfortable. Yet we all try and portray this fake version of ourselves for the validation of people we don’t even like on social media. Like what the fuck? WHY?! Why do we do this? How is a generation that's more connected than ever so fucking sad and alone? For years I tried to please others and wasn’t living the life I wanted. Why? I know I can be a little too idealistic at times but honestly why live a life you hate? You only get one chance. Fucking go for it. Stop punting on 4th and inches in opponent territory. Do you know what this planet would look like if everybody just gave up on their dreams to fit in and be normal to impress people they don't even like or fit into a box they don’t want to fit into? How boring would life be if all those musicians, actors, artists, comedians, athletes, you name the field gave up because the odds were stacked against them? Idk man. Maybe I had to deal with all this before I was truly ready to move forward? I wonder all the time “why me?” why do these things happen to me? Why am I not enough? Recently I've really tried to break that mindset. I will think about how literally billions of people on this planet are worse off than me and they didn’t give up. How lucky I am. There are homeless people, ALS patients and Lions fans that didn’t give up on life. Why should I? That’s why I’m so incredibly grateful to have so many people in my life that care enough about me. Without them and the fear of hurting them, I honestly don’t know if I’d be here today. I’m grateful that we as a society are finally starting to address the mental health epidemic and stigma so tightly associated with it. Men don't have to be afraid to have express their emotions. I'm grateful that Gary Gilman can have a fucking HBO comedy special talking about his battle with depression and there's overwhelming support. I’m grateful for Carol for listening to me and making me feel worthy of happiness again. I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful I was born in New England in a time where their sports teams would dominate for 20 years and continuing to bring me some joy. I'm grateful for the music that has inspired me to go on and know I'm not alone. I'm grateful for the people I loathe who are the pilot light that keeps me going. I’m grateful to be here and I’m grateful for anybody that has ever read a single word I’ve wrote on DOL. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to where I want to be but for the first time I can truly say that I know I have what it takes That I’m worth it, that I’m worthy and so are you. You too can shake out whatever devil is on your back. I’m 28 and feeling great(ful). P.s.
As long as Michael Thomas or Jared Cook don’t fumble I’m going to make the make the finals in my fantasy league. LFG DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!?!?
Down by 31.4 going into Monday Night Football with Michael Thomas and Jared Cook left to play I needed every single catch. After 92 catches in the first half MT only needed 2.5 more points and we got it!!! Unbelievable!! Heartbreaking playoff loses after dominating regular seasons in 2015, 2016, 2017 and 2018 left me questioning if I’d ever catch a fantasy break? the-fantasy-football-playoffs-are-the-bane-of-my-existence.html 3-1 start to 2019 looked like Ole Dozo was leaving right where he left off. After Odell fumbled on a punt return taking a victory away from me in week 5 things went Deep South, Little Nicky. 4 game losing streak where I was kicked out of the league in the biggest overreaction since Joe Buck cried when Randy Moss fake mooned Lambeau. Technically since I was out of the league it wasn’t my loss so I’ve still never had a 4 game losing streak in 5 years. This was my first 3 game losing streak in this league. After being reinstated I came back with a vengeance. Four straight wins to get to 7-5 after falling to 3-5. Finished 7-6 after my guys decided to rest for the playoffs. Beat a team with Lamar Jackson and the entire Ravens offense last week and this week took down the #1 seed commish who kicked me out of the very league I am the spiritual backbone of. My name is literally in the league name. None of that matters. Dozo is in the Finals for only the 3rd time in his fantasy football career. In 2014 I made the finals in a work league at the pizza shop and lost. In 2007 I won the first league I ever entered: ESPN league KC 600619 with 11 of my closest strangers. Been chasing ever since. With Chris Godwin likely out week 16 Godwin’s Christians are going to be facing a tall test without the #2 WR in all of fantasy. Hopefully the boys can bring it home for Godwin but even if they don’t this season is a success. #narrative!
I say that lovingly. I am a diehard NFL films fan. RIPIP both Sabals. Guess who made that gif? Same guy who made this blog nbd.
The NFL blocks all videos on 3rd party sharing so you'll have to watch on youtube, it's 5:12 long and critical for context of this blog. I lead the horse to water, now drink up.
I try to not be a blame the refs guy. I'm evolving. I understand how hard it is to get things right 100% in real time, especially with how fast the game is played today! Despite the horrible second half officiating, the Patriots could've easily put themselves in a better spot in the first half where none this would've mattered. The blocked field goal, and 3 & out after starting a drive in KC territory after an Mahomes INT. (eerily similar situation to McCourty INT in Ravens 2014 playoff game) immediately come to mind. But I'm human. When they (the refs) fuck up enough to the point where their competence is in question I'm gonna complain. I don't want to say the fix was in, but when there are that many critical mistakes against the Patriots in key situations in the favor of an underdog it really makes me wonder (Maroon 5, 2007).
What pisses me off is when they fuck up even with replay. Why do we even have it? What's the point if you're not going to get the call right. No bullshit with replay there should never be a mistake. Don't even get me started on the PI rule... But I'm veering off course... That's what set off the domino effect, if I'm power ranking the egregiousness of each faux pas: 1. Not overturning the spot of the ball on Watkins catch.
I get it that these are rarely overturned because of how difficult it can be to have concrete evidence to tell at times. They say that in the booth all the time, how they're likely to let it stand....This one was clear as day. Sammy Watkins didn't have full control of the ball when he was initially hit.
Of all the things that went wrong this set everything else in motion. In an alternate reality where the referees and replay crew have 20/20 vision the Chiefs are now facing 4th and short and tough decisions to make. More importantly the Patriots retain their challenge and time out. Losing both proved to be critical later on.
2. Blowing the Gilmore potential scoop and score dead
Had Gilmore scored a touchdown (I think he would've) it would've closed the gap to 23-19 with an upcoming XP/2 point attempt with an entire quarter to play. Even if he got tackled the Patriots would've have fantastic field position.
These calls piss me off to no end. IMO they're a direct result of the NFL's push to take violence out of the game. The refs are at the point of being over zealous to blow plays dead. I swear sometimes you think they have a roll of quarters in their pocket when they grab for the whistle. This whole in the grasp bullshit and blowing fumbles dead are ruining the game. The Saints got fucked by one on a potential Cam Jordan scoop and score against the Rams earlier in the year that would've totally changed the game. I hate it. I understand trying to make the game safer and I am for doing it, but I've been saying it for years football is football. It's a violent game. There's only so much you can do before you completely alter the DNA of the game and turn it into something completely different. It sucks that things like the Ryan Shazer injury happened but let's be honest he used poor form and it was a freak play. We have to let plays play out. You can always overturn it with replay. It's like measure twice, cut once. What really sucks is this could've been an all-time highlight in the potential Defensive Player of the Year campaign Stephon Gilmore has been putting up in 2019. Taken away because the refs have too much pride/not enough brains. I'm 100% serious here. Losing this totally hurts his chances.
3. Calling N'Keal Kerry out of bounds
What sucks is if the right call is made here, then on that final drive the Patriots only need a field goal to tie the game. A drive where down 4 they ended up turning it over on downs inside the 5 yard line. I know the Patriots field goal kicking has been a crap-shoot at best, but at that point I think they have the decent chance. Very well could've still lost although in a sort of reverse AFC Championship script they shut the Chiefs offense down in the second half.
Even though this is got the most talk on tv and radio this week I can understand the ref making a mistake. I mean sometimes there's just too much going on around you. Maybe you are too far away to know for sure?
No zoom from a few feet away. Green in between!
'
At that point the dominoes had all slammed to the ground. Can't review the play since the Patriots had no more challenges because of a failed challenge that should have been overturned. Ultimately settling for three here after clearly scoring a touchdown was the difference. Losing the game sucks, but on a much smaller scale in a year where Tom Brady is both chasing the all-time passing touchdown list....and, also....not having the most eye-popping season statistically, every touchdown counts. It reminds me of a Sunday Night Baseball Game I watched years ago when Carlos Delgado was still on the Mets. Long before replay in MLB. He hit a home run that was clearly fair and called foul and Joe Morgan said he'll always have one fewer home run than he should (or something along those lines) and it really resonated with me; obviously. Man, the human brain is a wild thing. We're on to Cincinnati.... P.S. If the Patriots win out they're still the 2 seed with the best defense in the NFL. I still believe the offensive woes can still be fixed, but I do think the kicking game will ultimately be what costs them. Sure it's cool to have a video by the league basically saying "hand up, we fucked up" but it doesn't change the standings or put teams in the Super Bowl. The NFL HAS to fix this shit for the integrity of the game. Of course I love the rare times these errors benefit the Pats but something's gotta give.
With Cy-Young runner-up, Gerrit Cole leaving the Houston Astros for the New York Yankees via free agency it is easy to say the balance of power has swung (on phone screens) in the American League.
For the next 9 years, assuming he doesn't opt after 5, lifelong Yankee fan Gerrit Cole will be making 324 million bucks to work once, MAYBE twice a week for seven....eight months max. early blog p.s. you're going to see this picture every time Cole starts the next three years.
Not too shabby for the bandwagon fan out of Newport Beach, CA.
Although it will come at a cost for the 29 year old 20 game winner....
His right to be an individual and decide how he gets to present himself to the world! That's right, when Gerrit Cole signed with the Yankees he waived his right for free will in exchange for money. Lots and lots of money.
He'll have to hit the barber chair to adhere to their archaic male grooming policy. He's not the first player to trade razor burn for residuals and surely won't be the last.
It should be noted he did not have a gun to his back while negotiating. I'm not bashing the man for chasing the bag/a lifelong dream. If you threw me enough money I would do the same. I know how handsome I am with short hair; my mom has been telling me for years. It just blows my mind the Yankees still enforce this rule and its something we are still talking about in 2019. In an era where gender chameleons and they/them pronouns are the norm, it's a shame the Yankees, a franchise that is supposedly the face of major league baseball is still so close minded.
Since 1973 when George Steinbrenner pointed out the jersey numbers of Yankees who needed a haircut there has been a regularly enforced policy on hair length and facial hair. Although some eras were looser than others as some players seem to get a little more leeway based on ability.
But the appearance rule is textbook scumbag, corporate, everything that is wrong with America, It's impossible to have swag as a Bronx Bomber. The basically colorless, nameless uniforms. The hair rule. They are the antithesis of expression. Oh cool Aaron Judge is big. That doesn't count.
Obviously as a Red Sox fan, long hair/beard guy, and long time pro-freedom person, I am biased here. Sure I'll take any opportunity bash this stupid rule, and the Yankees, but as a baseball fan it really is time for the Yankees to get with the times.We play loud, hello?! Dead ass this rule hurts the game and only emphasizes the 59 year old white man average viewer vibe. Baseball literally just pulled the cool parent move and finally gave into the fact that everybody under 40 smokes reefer and the Yankees still say no to beards.
There's some cities in the U.S. where fucking cops have long hair for crying out loud.
Honestly, if I was a Yankee fan I'd be worried.
This is Gerrit's smokeshow wife, Amy. (Sister of fellow big leaguer Brandon Crawford!)
Look at this happy couple. They look great, they're glowing!
They're going from the Houston Astros and their storied uniform history and being best friends with the biggest power couple in MLB to baseball North Korea.
I'm totally assuming here, but between Gerrit being her husband, and Brandon Crawford being her brother. I feel like it's safe to say she is a fan of the swaggy-shaggy look.
If you look at Amy's IG it's full of pics of her and Gerrit looking hot af in various places across the planet. I think at the very least we can assume she's a fan of shaggy guys. Sure 324 million bucks is cool but happy wife, happy life right?
Baseball has made the shift to analytics. The data clearly shows Gerrit Cole has no chin and is better looking with a beard.
It'd be a real shame if the man who dominated the Yankees in the playoffs and was rewarded with the biggest deal a pitcher has ever received in MLB history struggled with the pressures of New York. To make matters worse, he'd be unable to nervously twist his hair to ease the stress.
None of this would have to happen if the Yankees got with the times. Did you know the Cincinnatti Reds had a similar rule in place but lifted it in 1999? I feel like this is a rule I won't see changed in my lifetime, it's part of that "we're the Yankees, we're above you" mystique. Between this and the Redskins still being the Redskins it's a pissing contest for who will evolve with the times first. I guess we can only advance so far as a society. At least I can say I saw a black President in my lifetime. George said no and we have to respect the Boss!
It's so irrational to me. They'll fully guarantee nearly a third of a billion dollars to a guy who absolute best case scenario can win them 25 games a year. He could also very well have his arm fall off like countless other pitchers after 30. They're willing to spend that type of money on someone. They'll invest that type of money. But you HAVE TO keep hair off of your face because our sleaze bag, impatient fire-the-manager-43-times-in-7- years, how ironic is it that he's from "the Silent Generation", owner thinks baseball is Wall Street. Get the fuck over yourselves, Yankees.
What a headline!
Tonight is the series finale of HBO's Silicon Valley.
After 6 years of incubating, getting trapped in autonomous cars (inside of shipping containers) and countless one step forward, two steps back story lines, the fate of Pied Piper will finally be decided.
Debuting in the Spring of 2014, Silicon Valley tells the story of Richard Hendricks, his company Pied Piper and the exaggerated life that is tech in "The Valley"
What began as a music app during his time as a Hooli employee, Richard inadvertently created an algorithm that has a chance to make the world a better place. It's the best compression algorithm ever at the time. Quickly Richard goes from laughing stock at his company, to one of the hottest names in tech.
Richard's offered a buyout of 10 million dollars by Hooli and general piece of shit, Gavin Belson for his algorithm and a $200,000 investment by Peter Gregory (R.I.P.) where he would still be able to run the company. After a patented vomit riddled panic attack, Richard goes with the late Peter Gregory and becomes an incubee of the eccentric Erlich Bachman. It is here where Pier Piper begins its rollercoaster journey.
Richard is not alone in living at Bachman's incubator.
He is joined by three coders. Pakistani, NOT Indian, Dinesh Chugati
Satanist, Bertham Gilfoyle
and Big Gulp enthusiast, Nelson "Bighead" Bighetti
Former PA of Gavin Bleson, Donald "Jared " Dunn (my favorite character) quits Hooli and jumps at the opportunity to join Pied Piper after learning of Richard's algorithm and its potential.
Jared's first major decision of the series regards the fate of Bighead. See Bighead is probably Richard's only real friend, but an incredible liability as a coder. Jared, along with the other two guys want Bighead out. Richard refuses because he is incredibly loyal and also tends to make horrible decisions. #foreshadowing. Before having to make a tough decision Bighead quits to go back to Hooli as Gavin Belson poaches him claiming he has a co-founder of Pied Piper working for Hooli.
I should also mention Jing-Yang. He is an aggressively Chinese incubee that has an "unique" relationship with Erlich and no affiliation with Pied Piper.
Over the course of the series there are tons of ridiculous characters in the valley.
Russ Hanneman, the first man to put radio on the internet, member of the three comma club.
Laurie Bream, a VC who has the personality of a ceramic tile.
Denpok, Gavin's guru and spiritual adviser. Hoover, the head of security at Hooli who's love/hate one-sided relationship is one of the more underrated story-lines of the show. Dr. Crawford, Richard's tell it like it is physician. Ron LaFlamme, Pied Piper's guitar collector/lawyer
Pete Monahan, technically not a lawyer
Monica Hall, the cigarette sneaking, CFO of Pied Piper.
There's plenty others, but none as important to the story of Silicon Valley as Gavin Belson. After T.J. Miller left the series following the 4th season many (myself included) believed that was the beginning of the end. There may have been times throughout the show where it felt like they were just recycling the same theme over and over again but overall, I'd say 6 seasons out of this weird, niche show about tech is pretty damn good. It feels like it's time to move on. As an idealistic, romantic I'm pumped that it looks like Silicon Valley fans will get a happy ending to the series based on episode; although it would be peak Pied Piper to have one finally monkey wrench throw into the equation. I just had to pay my respect to one of the few shows on a non-streaming service that I have followed throughout its entire run coming to a close. I could go so much more in depth but I don't want to spoil/am trying to pay attention to the Seahawks fuck me. If you haven't watched SV, with it coming to an end tonight it's the perfect time to start binging. If you are a fan, spend a few minutes before the final episode of SV reliving some its best moments.
P.S.
The opening credits with the animation showing the growth of actually tech companies over the years is awesome. Such great detail. Facebook being in Russian this year is my favorite. Season 1:
Season 2:
Season 3:
Season 4:
Season 5:
Season 6:
I wanted to break this story as soon as it broke but I had a video session with my shrink #notashamed so it had to go on the back-burner...sorry Brandon Flowers.
As the dust settles I still am pretty shocked. Ron Rivera did not deserve to get fired before the year ends. Riverboat deserved better!
How is Riverboat/Analytical Ron the second coach to get the ax in 2019? I know losing to the Redskins this year is BAD, especially considering they were the first team to fire their coach, but WOW. The Panthers were playing okay football with a back-up QB whose hands that would make Uncle Jack Kelly feel like Andre the Giant and a kicker that belongs in Limp Bizkit.
5-7 isn't horrible considering the circumstances. They were 5-3 but I feel like that's more because of Jared Allen not being the guy/Joey Slye.
How is Dan Quinn still employed by an NFC South franchise and Ron Rivera isn't??!?!
In 8+ seasons in Carolina, Ron Rivera was a good to above good head coach. Riverboat went 76-63-1 with four playoff appearances, 3 NFC South titles and won the 2015 NFC Championship. Ron Rivera was also a two-time AP Coach of the Year. From 2012-2015 he and Bruce Arians played hot potato with the semi-meaningless award. Sorry to all the DOL readers in Charlotte, but I feel like Carolina is one of those nothing franchises.
Sure they've won the NFC twice, but they're still under 30 years old. They have a 1-15 year in the mix. Been to the playoffs 8 times (respectableish) and play in North Carolina. Not a state known for it's professional sports. If you were power-ranking the 32 NFL teams based on prestige the Panthers are easily in the bottom quarter of the rankings. My point is maybe they should've appreciated what they had?
Now I'm not a Carolina Panthers fan, I don't watch them every week, I know sometimes coaches can lose the locker room/fill in cliche here. This is purely as an outsider NFL fan....I don't understand this move. Ron Rivera's pretty much as good as its gonna get for the Carolina Panthers. This feels like making a move just to make a move. Under new ownership this move in a way has always been in play. Sometimes that works but IMO is not the best way to run a professional sports franchise; change for change's sake. I wouldn't be shocked if we look back in 5 years, the Panthers haven't been above 8-8 and Rivera is perennially leading some other team to the wild card round. With the Bears vastly under-achieving under last year's Coach of the Year, Matt Nagy maybe we could see a former '85 Bear (and former defensive coordinator) go home?
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