After a Heather Graham in Austin Powers the Spy Who Shagged Me level hot-start to the 2020 NFL campaign, the #TooManyLegs teaser has looked more like Frau the last half-month of the season.
Oh I'm sorry, were you expected a Tommy Boy reference after those memes to start the blog? Well if you spent a little more time reading DOL and a little less playing with your dinghy; you'd know I'm chock full'o super timely pop culture references. I'm sure you're thinking, "Dozo, I'm not a barstool executive, I'm just trying to make a little money and you've been fucking me the last two weeks like Rob Lowe was fucking Bo Derek in Tommy Boy under the false pretenses of being mother and son".
I'd be quick to remind you the TML teaser is still +28 units on the season, so let's not panic yet. Sure the #TooManyLegs Teaser has slipped to 3-2, but this a marathon not a sprint and we are still super profitable, but it's time to turn things around, let's look at this weeks teases.
Packers +3 (from -3)
After a quick 10-0 lead in Tompa Bay last week, Aaron Rodgers threw two horrible INTs in what felt like a 34 seconds of real time. Before you could say Key and Peele the cheese-wheels had fallen off the Pack Wagon as Green Bay surrendered 38 straight points to pick up their first loss of the season.
The Houston Texans should be get praised for going for two last week, not chastised. I am a HUGE fan of going for two up seven points late to try and make it a two score game (aka in surmountable). I saw the Seahawks try and fail in a very similar situation in 2016 against the Pats. Love the move. Go for the throat.
That is where the nice remarks about the Texans end, this has get-right-game written all over it for the Packers coming off an embarrassing loss. Texans are just what the crystal doctor order. Even if the Texans somehow pull this off I feel pretty good here with Packers +3.
Panthers +12.5 (from +6.5)
Between Teddy Two Gloves returning to NOLA and the fact that the Saints will be without both Michael Thomas and Manny Sanders I LOVEEE the Panthers to at the very least keep it with 10 points. Wouldn't be shocked to seem pull of the upset, but in teasers I am a huge fan of wiggle room and getting a decent team +12.5 in a divisional game is more than ideal.
Last year while going 5-0 for the Saints, Teddy Bridgewater got sacked on SNF and they played Teddy Picker by the Arctic Monkeys going into the commercials, as long as Teddy doesn't throw multiple picks I love Panthers +12.5 here. I may sprinkle ML.
Chiefs -1 (from -7)
Even with snow, I think the Chiefs should be able to handle the Broncos with relative ease. I know they're not your slightly younger self's Patriots, but it's still the Pats and I just don't see the lowly Broncos beating the New England Patriots and Kansas City Chiefs in back to back weeks. No need to overthink here. Only reason I didn't tease the over down was because the snow kinda scares me.
Bucs at Raiders OVER 45.5 (from 51.5)
In a rematch of Super Bowl 38 we should see a lot of points. The Raiders are 6th in scoring and 27th in points allowed while Tompa Bay is 8th in points scored respectively. Tampa's defense is pretty good at 8th in league, but Derek Carr is sneaky not awful and with no fans, in a dome, I think both teams will get in the 20's.
49ers at Patriots OVER 39 (from 45)
Both teams have underachieved this year, as they combine for a 5-6 record after only having 7 losses combined all last season. Both have been getting some key guys back, and the Patriots actually practiced last night. I wouldn't be shocked whatsoever to see the 49ers pull this off, but the Pats haven't lost 3 straight games since 2002. Over 39 was just too low to pass up. Pats offense looks much better than last week, but the defense breaks and gives up some touchdowns. We'll see 40+ points in Foxboro, I'm literally betting on it.
Steelers at Titans OVER 45 (from 51)
Two of the best and highest scoring teams in the league were supposed to meet like a month ago, but thanks to the big C are meeting as undefeateds in Week 7. I have zero clue who will win this game, but the Titans are 2nd in the NFL in points scored and the Steelers are 4th. Give me over 45.
Chargers -1.5 (from -7.5)
In a matchup of teams that haven't won since Week 1, at least you can say the Chargers have played well. They could've beaten the Chiefs, Bucs or Saints. As for the Jags it looks like the tank is fully back on as Gardiner Minshew is on the verge of being benched. Chargers have been inching and clawing towards a win the last month and the Jaguars are the perfect team to face in that spot.
Browns at Bengals OVER 44.5 (from 50.5)
From week 2-5 during their four game winning streak the Brown scored 30+ points every week. Of course they looked like shit against the Steelers last night because the sun still rose and people still walked the planet. That's just what's going to happen. Against the in-state rival Bengals who give up 26.2 points a game we'll find a way like the Drake and Josh theme song to get over that 44.5 hump.
Good luck and as always bet responsibly. #HireDozo