If you're visiting DOL (dozonlife.com) for the first time after seeing my sign on the Barstool Red Carpet or audience at the awards, welcome to my blog! I've been running DOL since February 2016 with the sole intention of getting hired to blog at Barstool. I was born to write for Barstool Sports. It's the perfect home for my weird brain.
I've wanted to be a sports writer for as long as I can remember. In high school, I dreamed of being a journalist and covering the Red Sox or Patriots. For my senior project, I covered my high school's sports and planned on majoring in journalism. When my dad wouldn't let me cause even in 2010, newspapers were dying, I ended up "picking" education...so I could coach football and pursue my love of sports that way.
I'm incredibly passionate about sports, music, history, comedy, pop culture, and simply being a good person. I want to use my talents to entertain and inform. When I was in college, I created the popular twitter account@URIprobs, which had over 6,000 followers at its peak. Creating is the ultimate form of expression and freedom, and while I plan to be on podcasts, videos, game shows, etc., writing is my favorite medium.
This blog is a sequel to the original #HireDozo Manifesto, published on November 22nd, 2019, the night of RnR Providence. A much skinnier Dozo was in the building to watch a lil' amateur boxing and make some connections. Check the blog out to learn more about my story, as it fills you in on my back story, including being on the Rosie O'Donnell Show at five years old.
Let's fast forward to late 2019 (again, please check out the original #HireDozo Manifesto for 1991-2019); I was flying high. Tom Brady and Mookie Betts were still members of New England-based professional sports teams. I lost 70 pounds. After getting knocked down the previous few years, I felt like I was regaining my true self. Although the end of 2019 was a sign of negativity that was to come. I had a falling out with one of my best friends after he ended our Fantasy Football league when I beat him in the Final Four, and my relationship with my dad was rocky AF after I told him I hate his wife and no longer plan on hiding my feelings after years of mistreatment from her. That combined with the pandemic really set me back, but I am stronger for it.
Before Covid shut the world down, I was low-key crushing 2020. My teaching position at the time was the best placement I ever had (and wrote one of my all-time favorite DOL blogs), I was talking to multiple chicks on various dating apps, my social life was thriving, I had just recently created an IG account for my blog and was making more video content. I met Caleb at the URI-Dayton game, where Obi Tobbin had about 94 fastbreak slams.
My high point of 2020 came on March 7th (and the week leading up to it) when I ate #43Burgers in honor of a recent Barstool Radio bet that was floating around in the lead up to El Pres' 43rd birthday. From noon to midnight, I ate 43 McDonald's burgers across multiple locations in my hometowns with countless people cheering me on! Then Covid shut the world down and stole my thunder. It was hard to call and be like "I ate all these burgers in hopes you'd look at my blog"....when the entire world is going through it.
Ya boi is up against the clock. I just bought tickets for the Barstool Awards. Originally, my plan was to go to the red carpet with a sign and hope for the best, but now I'm going to the show and hoping to sell myself to the brilliant people at BSS. Let's look at some highlights of the past few years! I'm probably gonna forget a bunch and get pissed at myself!!!!
April 20th, 2020: "Stoned Man" (Starman Parody) debuts
April 2020: Had one of the greatest losing performances in game show history on KFC Radio's Social Distancing: The Game Show.
August 2020: Made the video "Shit Ubah Drivers Hear." In 2022, I posted it on TikTok where it currently has over 1300 likes.
Fall 2020: Created the incredibly succession Too Many Legs Teaser of the Week (+47 units)
January 6th, 2021: Went super viral on IG with this post
July 2021: Met Carl in Newport, RI after I told him to look both ways before crossing the street.
2021-2022: #DozVsTheDozen runs on IG live. It's in hiatus rn due to technical issues, but during my storied run, I beat both teams (of three) dozens of times. When hired, I am going to DOMINATE on The Dozen.
February 18th, 2022: Was a hashtag good guy
February 28th, 2022: Freaked out on a class for continuously messing with me and got put on admin leave. The best part of the story is, the kid I gave money to get some food with ratted me out to the principal by leaking a recording of my classroom freakout!!! (it ended up being a major blessing in disguise)
March 22nd, 2022: Got some love from the Cheapies for my karaoke skills.
May 16th, 2022: A former student reached out to tell me how much they missed me. This legit made me cry. It made my day/week/month.
June 2nd, 2022: Spotted a brown bowl in the wild
July 21st, 2022: Went to KFC Radio Live and pussied out on a golden opportunity because I didn't wanna risk being wrong shouting "PEDOPHILE" in a crowded room lolol. BLOG HERE
September 12th, 2022: My Matt Patricia tweet made it into Jerry Thornton's Week 1 recap blog.
November 2022: Went viral on TikTok (10K+ likes) before ironically being taken down 'abusing" a bullying/fascist qunt.
NYE 2022: Nearly picked up Feits from Hotel Viking
August 23rd, 2023: Rushed to put this blog up to give the people a further look into the Doz man. I've loved this company for 10 years and NEED to be a part of the pirate ship. I just need an opportunity. My weird brain will fit like a glove! I didn't mention the thousands of fantastic blogs I've written over the years! Now, I gotta make this sign and head to Boston! Wish me luck!!! #HireDozo
R.I.P. Steve Michalik
I'm super self-conscious about this blog's rush job, but I really need to hit the road. Just know this. The pandemic fucked my life up. I ended up gaining 150 lbs after losing 70 the year before. I was in a super dark spot and lost hope. Sui was on the table for a while. But I've rebounded. Over the last year, I've started working out again and regaining my confidence. I love Barstool Sports so fucking much and just wanna be a part of it. I'm so fucking happy that Dave repurchased it. TBH. Sometimes, I can't consume the content because I get such bad FOMO. Sometimes, I get angry at people who don't care about the opportunity that I would literally die for. This blog just scratches the surface of some of the unique parts about me. I also have many content ideas, including a music podcast that could be a game-changer. Please give me a chance. It'll be the best decision you make in 2023.